


Deeper Than the Sea

by The_Storybooker



Series: Deeper Than the Sea [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Banter, Because Zoro is always too lost to make it to class, But there's plot I swear, Everybody's an orphan, F/M, Gen, How Do I Tag, Humor, I can't tag all the characters, I'm Bad At Tagging, Imported, In fact this might be mostly banter, Luffy is the new kid, Nami is the smart kid with issues, Plot, Robin is the history teacher, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is not your typical High School AU, Usopp is the guy who spends his time cheering up the younger kids, Whimsy, Zoro is a perpetual senior, all the characters - Freeform, lots of banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-14
Updated: 2010-10-01
Packaged: 2019-05-19 09:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 70,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Storybooker/pseuds/The_Storybooker
Summary: WG Institute is an eccentric school in the middle of nowhere. When Luffy D. Monkey transfers into the high school in the middle of the year, he's about to prove that there's more than eccentricity to the people there. Your not-so-typical high school AU.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This, unlike my usual works, is (should be) extremely plot-intensive and, simultaneously, extremely condensed, because otherwise you'd probably wind up with a story way too long to really comprehend. Even so, I think that all the little episodes that I've had to cut are still important…maybe if I cut too many scenes and get enough reviews, I'll make a separate collection of one-shots. Anyhow, this is a little experiment if you will, so I'd appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thanks!
> 
> This will probably wind up being a trilogy; I'll make no secret of that. Before you start jumping to conclusions, no, it won't be one big story chopped into three. I intend to make sure that each part has its own story: a beginning, an ending, and a climax. You'll be able to read any of the three parts on its own. It's just that the story's too long to tell in one go and it's got a few parts to it, so in the last part, I'll be tying events from all three works together into one.
> 
> Now, with that said, enjoy!

The village called Fuchsia in the northern mountains in the state of Maine of the United States of America was in no way a well-known village. It was on very few maps, and the few strangers who entered the village would look from the map to the road signs and back to the map, and then sheepishly ask where they were. Sometimes they were, indeed, lost, but more often then not they were on the right track, but their map failed to note the existence of the village. In fact, most of these people were hikers; they would leave one of the larger towns at the foot of the mountains and hike up through the mountains, and find themselves baffled when the nature came to an abrupt halt and they found themselves in front of a ridiculously tall wall.

No one really knew why the hiking trail came out by the wall (or why the wall had been built to cut off the hiking trail—no one really knew which came first). However, these bewildered hikers would generally start around the wall, and find themselves in a pumpkin patch.

There was no end to the laments of the farmer who owned this pumpkin patch, for some unfortunately dim hikers would help themselves to the 'fruits of nature'; the village tried to be self-sufficient, and so this farm, being the only farm in the village, was a great deal more extensive than the village itself, and from the far ends of the pumpkin patch, the only hint of human life forms was the pumpkin patch itself.

Unfortunately, it seemed that pumpkins growing in orderly rows for as far as one could see was not sufficient evidence that someone might _own_ said pumpkins for most. The farmer was seriously considering getting himself a troop of guard dogs to save him the agony of lost pumpkins. Without the guard dogs, however, the farmer marched around the farm with a rake, which was his weapon against the more aggressive of the pumpkin-poachers. But the farmer was a kindly man, and would gently explain to the hikers that this was his farm, and would they please stop eating the village's winter food supply? And when the hikers would ask, what village? The farmer would explain to them that there was a village right over that way, if they would just follow the wall. And then he would invite them to his home for a cup of tea.

Sometimes, hikers thought that the farmer was simply _too_ nice, and came to the conclusion that they were being conned. This was generally where the farmer's rake came in handy.

Either way, the farmer generally managed to guide the hikers to the village, and from there would point them in the direction of the next stretch of the hiking trail. Sometimes, hikers just left. Other times, they asked about the village. The farmer only seemed to grow vegetables, but what about fruits? Were they imported? How about meat? Was there good food and lodging in Fuchsia Village? Could they find a place like a supermarket or a McDonald's? The farmer would reply to them all: there was a girl on the other side of the village who had an orchard where fruits were grown, very little was imported, he had a great deal of livestock which the butcher bought regularly, there was excellent food and lodging and even some selection of places, would they like directions? No, there were no silly supermarkets and McDonald's was bad for their health.

Most often, however, they asked about the wall.

The farmer would laugh, and explain that the village of Fuchsia had not grown out of nowhere. W. G. Institute had grown out of nowhere. Fuchsia had sprung into being beside and was dependent upon W. G. Institute, and hence its population was less than 100. Most of the local residents lived at W. G. Institute, as faculty, staff, or students, and population of W. G. Institute totaled two to three hundred.

Naturally, the baffled hikers would always ask, "So, what _is_ this W. G. Institute?"

The farmer would tell them. He always did. After all, the mysteries and legends behind the place were unsolved, but no secret at all.


	2. Zoro Roronoa

Luffy D. Monkey hummed contentedly as he walked down the hallway, hands deep inside his pockets. His first day of school! What could be more exciting?

…Actually, in all honesty, it would have been a lot more exciting if he hadn't gotten up at five in the morning and come here at six just to wind up wandering around aimlessly for over an hour with no idea where to go. Well, there was only one thing he knew to do when he didn't know where to go…

"Hey, you!" he called to a random person walking down the hallway. The person—a chubby boy with glasses who looked to be a couple years younger than himself—looked at him.

"I don't recognize you…" the chubby boy said cheerfully before Luffy could say anything. "Are you new?" But he did not wait for an answer. "Then you'll need to get to your homeroom. What's your homeroom?

Luffy stared blankly.

"Homeroom?"

The boy looked him up and down.

"Wait a second…" he said slowly. "Where are your books? Where's your schedule?"

"Oh, my schedule's in my pocket," Luffy told him cheerfully. "Should I get it out?"

"But where're your books?" the boy asked again.

"What books?" Luffy asked, cocking his head to the side with curiosity.

"You came without any textbooks?" demanded another boy who came up beside the first. Luffy stared at him.

"Do you have your hair up in a bun?" he asked the second boy, his curiosity evident. Coming from anyone else, that would have been a blatant insult. Coming from Luffy, it was unclear exactly how the question ought to be taken: he asked the question the same way he had asked what a homeroom was. The boy with the bun, however, turned bright red.

"Why, you…I should tell my father you said that! He'll fail you, I know he will!"

The first boy shot the second a disapproving look before he took Luffy's arm and began to lead him down the hallway.

"Ignore him," the boy said. "He's suffered a lot of bullying because of that hairstyle, and at some point he discovered that people would back away if he threatened to ask his father to fail them—his father's the English teacher, you see—so he's been talking like that ever since. I tried to tell him that it just makes people respect him less, so he's trying to break that habit at the moment. I'm Coby, by the way, and this is Helmeppo. What's your name?"

"Luffy," Luffy replied. "So what were you saying about books?"

Coby stopped and looked around at Luffy suspiciously.

"I'm going to ask you a strange question…but have you ever been to a school before?"

"Nope!" Luffy chirped proudly. "I'm home schooled."

"That explains a lot," Helmeppo muttered to himself audibly. If it was meant as an insult, Luffy failed to notice—or perhaps he simply ignored it. Coby wouldn't have put it past this strange boy to let insults slide by as though he didn't notice, regardless of whether or not he did.

"Well, you see, in school, you need textbooks," Coby explained patiently. "That way, since everyone has the same textbook, the teacher can just tell the whole class to open to a certain page, and everyone sees the same thing. Right?"

"That makes sense," Luffy nodded. "So where do I get textbooks?"

"In the library," Coby smiled. "Follow me, I'll take you there."

Coby resumed walking, leading Luffy by the arm. Helmeppo ran up to fall in step beside Luffy.

"Since you're new here, there're a few things you ought to know," Helmeppo said. Luffy looked at him curiously.

Neither saw Coby give a small grin—he recognized that Helmeppo now regretted having brought up his father earlier, and was attempting to make up for it.

"First of all, what grade are you in?"

"11th," Luffy replied.

"Then you're not in _too_ much danger," Helmeppo nodded approvingly. "But I'll just warn you anyway. If you ever come across a senior—that means 12th grader, just in case you didn't know—who goes by the name of Nami, no matter what you do, do _not_ borrow money from her!" Luffy stared. "Look, this might sound stupid to you right now, but just trust me on this. For example, there's this other senior called Zoro. He forgot his lunch money once in the first week of freshman year, and borrowed a dollar from Nami for a snack. Unfortunately, he forgot to pay her back for a few months, and at that point she'd piled up the interest so high that he couldn't pay it back without losing all his lunch money for the rest of the month. So guess how much he owes her now?"

Luffy stared.

"Four hundred seventy-two dollars and sixty-four cents," Coby supplied. Luffy's jaw dropped.

"Why's it so awkward?" Luffy demanded. "Why not just say five hundred-"

"Four hundred."

"Yeah, that's what I said. Why not just four hundred and twenty-seven dollars? Why all the cents?" Helmeppo moved to correct him, but Coby cut across.

"She adds a dollar for each time he insults her, and along with that one cent for each word he uses in the sentence." Luffy blinked, uncomprehending. "Well," Coby explained, "For example, they had an argument in the hallway last week. Zoro said 'You'll drop into hell like the devil you are,' so Nami took a dollar each for 'dropping into hell' and 'devil,' and nine cents because the sentence had nine words in it."

Luffy burst into laughter. Coby noted with surprise that though they were leaving the high school building, Luffy displayed no surprise, as newcomers generally did, that the library was located outside of the high school. Perhaps he had visited before?

No, Coby suddenly realized as they made their way down the dirt street. If this boy had been home schooled, then he'd probably only ever used a public library. So it would seem only natural to him that the library was a minute's walk from the high school.

"This is serious!" Helmeppo was trying to convince him. "Never, _ever_ borrow money from Nami! Here, repeat after me: No matter what the circumstance…" He urged Luffy to repeat after him with a wave of his hands.

"No matter what the circumstance…" Luffy repeated hesitantly.

"No matter how I am persuaded…"

"No matter how you are persuaded…"

"No, no, no! I said to repeat after me, so if I say 'I', then you say 'I'!"

"No, no, no! You said to-"

"He didn't mean you to repeat that," Coby supplied. "He was talking to you."

"Oh."

"Well, let's start over," Helmeppo sighed. "But remember, this time when I say 'I', you say 'I', okay?" Luffy nodded. "Okay, repeat after me: No matter what the circumstance…"

"No matter what the circumstance…"

"No matter how I am persuaded…"

"No matter how I am persuaded…"

"I will never, ever borrow money from Nami Mikan."

"Her last name's Mikan? That's a strange-"

"Just say it, would you?"

"Okay." Luffy paused. "What was I supposed to say again?"

"No matter what the circumstance, no matter how I am persuaded, I will never, ever borrow money from Nami Mikan!"

"Oh yeah. No matter what the circumstance, no matter how I am…" He trailed off, looking at Helmeppo questioningly. Obviously, the rest of the sentence escaped him.

"No matter what the circumstance…" Helmeppo started again through clenched teeth. He was starting to wonder if he should just leave this kid to Nami's mercy. It was obviously taking far more effort than he had bargained for to persuade him that he should not borrow money from the spawn of the devil, and it probably wasn't even worth all the trouble anyway. Judging from the evidence so far, the boy would forget his pledge within a few minutes (if it even lasted that long) of making it anyway.

"No matter what the circumstance…" Luffy repeated, and unlike Helmeppo, he did not seem at all annoyed that this was the fourth time that he was repeating the same phrase.

"No matter how I am persuaded…"

"No matter how I am persuaded…"

"I will never, ever borrow money from Nami Mikan."

"I will never, ever borrow money from Nami Mikan."

Helmeppo breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Great. Now just make sure you remember what you just swore."

"What?"

"Never to borrow money from Nami Mikan! Make sure you remember that!" Maybe this kid was one of those slow learners? Or maybe it was A.D.D. or A.D.H.D.? He just hoped that his sanity was in tact—W. G. High School was already overrun with enough people with questionable sanity, and most certainly did _not_ need another!

"Oh. Okay."

Helmeppo sighed. His mind was screaming at him, alarm bells going off all over that this boy would be sure to forget this within a few minutes, if not seconds, but he shoved it aside. He could do nothing else without resorting to violence, and he was seriously starting to doubt that this boy was worth the trouble, anyway. He didn't look like the type to go around borrowing money in the first place.

"Anyway, next thing. There're these three seniors—Zoro Roronoa, Wiper Shandora and Smoker Taisa—don't ever go near them unless it can't be avoided."

"Why? Their names sound cool."

"They _are_ cool. They're the height of cool, all three of them! Zoro's always calm and collected and like an unmovable rock, and he's never been defeated in fencing during high school by anyone on but the coaches and this one other girl. Smoker's a no-nonsense fighter for justice—we all think he'll major in justice in college—but he can be terrifying when he wants to be, and no one dares approach him; his little sister's in your year and she's a _stunning_ beauty, but no one dares approach her because of Smoker. Then there's Wiper. He's probably about as popular with the girls as anyone can get, but he's never gone out with anyone and only interacts with a close-knit group: his twin sister and a couple friends, and that's it. But Wiper's displayed violent tendencies. He pulled a knife on another student once. You don't want to cross him, or he might beat you to bloody pulp."

"Or slice you open, if he happens to have a knife on him," Coby added. "It's sort of a mystery why he hasn't been expelled yet."

"And Smoker won't stand for you doing a single thing wrong. One step out of line and he'll be on you like a panther. He doesn't tell—especially since the disciplinary system at W. G.'s a bit messed up—he follows his own sense of justice and locks you in your own locker. And Zoro's just…really, really bad-tempered and violent."

"Oh, and no matter how sick you feel, never, ever, _ever_ go to the school doctor! Dr. Hiruruk's nice and all, but he'll just make you worse if-"

"Hey," Luffy interrupted, pointing at the large building that they were about to walk past. "I know I shouldn't be interrupting when you're talking to me and all… But we just passed the library."

"Oh yeah…" muttered Coby, turning a little red. It struck him as odd that Luffy knew the location of the library. Maybe he had come to visit once, after all? But then why couldn't he find his way to homeroom?

Once in the entrance, Coby expected Luffy to look around in amazement at the tall bookcases and countless number of books—pretty amazing for such a small school—but the boy simply walked on as though it were nothing special. This was odd, Coby felt, because he'd already been there for an entire term, and the library still amazed him every time he entered.

"No _way!_ " A girl's voice suddenly pierced the quiet. Luffy, Coby, and Helmeppo all turned to stare.

"Oh, yeah, way!" replied a second girl. "He was totally all over her."

Coby leaned a bit to the side to whisper into Luffy's ear, "Those two are cheerleaders. From the college sect. That one"-he pointed to the first girl-"is Porche Baton. And the other"-he pointed to the second-"is Lily Sun. Stay out of their way if you can. They're really obnoxious gossipers, and since they're in the college sect, they think they're better than everyone else—especially the high school students." After a pause, Coby decided to elaborate just in case. "As in, as opposed to the elementary and middle school students. I don't know if you know, but there's an orphanage sect, and that's got an elementary and middle school…" But Luffy was listening to the conversation with interest, and didn't seem to care. Oh well. Maybe he already knew.

"See," Helmeppo explained in a whisper, "there're these two guys, Foxy Silver and Bellamy Hyena, and they each started a fraternity. But then those two fraternities sort of grew to accept each other. Of course, being fraternities, girls aren't usually accepted. But Bellamy decided that girls were okay some time back—Lily's one of those girls—and Foxy hasn't done anything like that yet, but Porche's his girlfriend. That makes her as good as a member."

"And then, what? The next day she was on a date with some other guy?" Porche was exclaiming, oblivious to their audience.

"Yeah, but forget that! She was _totally_ just trying to prove that she's not really interested in Ace. God, can you imagine what'll happen when Alvida hears about this? She'll be furious!" Lily sounded gleeful. "She's been trying for years, and Ace hasn't even realized she exists!"

"But, wait a sec… I mean, Kai and Ace are together on the baseball team, right? You never know, it could've been one of those boy-to-boy sort of things…"

"They were, like, standing there for five minutes, hugging like there was no tomorrow! I mean, did you _see_ them? He was stroking her _hair!_ "

"But it's not like they were making out or anything… I just can't see what a hot guy like Ace would see in someone as ugly as Kai. She's just…"

"I know! He could _so_ do better than her. Do you think he thinks of her as, like, a boy or something?"

"I could _so_ see that. And didn't you say she went out with Quint last night?"

"Oh yeah. Not that it was any good, she's not interested at all. Sarquiss and I were at the Spicy Bean, thinking we'd catch some time alone, and then Quint and Kai just, like, came walking in. And the whole time, Quint kept making moves on Kai, and every time he did, she'd flat out reject him!"

"Told you. If she's not in denial about Ace, it's got to be something else. I bet she's a lesbian."

"Shh! You know how Kuina gets if she hears anyone being even remotely biased against blacks or Hispanics or homosexuals or anything like that! Do you want to end up being sent to Mr. Red again?"

"I wouldn't mind so much. He's hot."

"Ew! He's, like, in his late thirties! And _married_ to that lady that runs the orphanage sect!"

"So? He's still good to look at."

Luffy looked from Helmeppo to Coby. They had dragged him behind one of the chairs, and were now listening intently. "Um…shouldn't we be going to get my books, or-"

"Shh!" Helmeppo hissed at him. "When you get a chance to eavesdrop on Porche and Lily, never miss it. They could say something important!"

Of course, _which_ part of their conversation was supposed to be important baffled Luffy, who knew perfectly well that Ace and Kai were the questionable sort of 'just friends,' and that Kai's 'date' with Quint Five had been arranged for the single and only purpose of her asking the guy if he would kindly please stop stalking Ace, because his attempts to pick Ace's dorm lock were getting a bit annoying, and it was starting to seriously grate on Ace's nerves. The rest didn't sound important at all. Sure, he would have enjoyed hearing about Shanks…if the conversation hadn't been about how 'hot' he was.

But Porche and Lily were rolling from topic to topic with amazing speed. Luffy was sure that he had only tuned out about two sentences, and yet they were already on a completely different topic.

"You think _that's_ interesting news? I've got better."

"Oh? Do tell."

"I found out that Miss Nico isn't 'Miss' after all."

"Oh. My. God. She's _married?_ "

"Uh-huh." Porche sounded extremely smug.

"No way."

"Yes way."

"You mean, like, _really_ married? Like, they're living in the same house and all that?"

"Uh-huh. But that's not even the best part. Try guessing _who_ she's married to."

"I've no clue. She's so…serious. I can't imagine any decent guy liking her."

"Right? I thought so too. But she's married to _Sir Crocodile_."

There was a scream that made all three occupants hiding behind the seat leap out of their skins. "No _way!_ But, he's like, the best adult guy there is! I mean, _Brad Pitt_ looks like a loser next to Sir Crocodile, and that's really saying something."

"I wonder how she did it?"

Lily snickered. "Maybe she knows how to make up for her dull personality in bed…"

Porche giggled. "Miss Nico? No way."

"It's not even 'Miss Nico.' It's 'Mrs. Crocodile.'"

The pair went on giggling and talking, but they were now walking away from the bookcases to check out whatever books they'd chosen.

"No way," Coby whispered.

"Miss Nico? And Sir Crocodile? There's bound to be something there."

Coby was thoughtfully silent for a moment. "Well, we always have to keep in mind that she could be wrong. She didn't name her source, and she's been wrong before."

"Um…" Luffy interrupted the serious discussion. "Sorry, but can we stand up now? And maybe go get those books you said I needed?"

Coby and Helmeppo stared at him a moment, as though they had only just realized that he was there. Then they stood up quickly.

"Oh, yeah!" said Coby hastily. "This way!"

Luffy was led through a door and up a flight of stairs. There was a door at the top of the staircase, and he just managed to catch a glimpse of a smaller room lined with books before a blur of color flashed past the door, and a bunch of clangs and shouts distracted him.

"Aren't libraries supposed to be quiet?" asked Luffy.

"Not this one," snorted Helmeppo. "Downstairs, no one bothers being quiet, since it's an electronic check out system and no one's around to keep people quiet. And up here… This girl Kuina works up here, with the older, more valuable books and the selling of textbooks and all, and she's Zoro's—he's one of the guys I told you never to cross earlier—Zoro's greatest fencing rival, so they frequently have duels up here."

There came another crash, and a muscular young man came rolling out onto the landing at the top of the stairs. A young woman with short dark blue hair leapt out a mere moment after him and pinned the man beneath her foot, pressing her fake sword to his neck.

"I win," she announced cheerfully.

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled the green-haired young man beneath her foot. "Now would you let me up so I can get to class?"

The woman who was probably Kuina spun around and returned into the room, humming contentedly to herself. The man sat up and scratched his head as he stood.

"You're cool!" Luffy commented, walking right up to him. "Let's be friends!"

Coby and Helmeppo stared at him wide-eyed from behind. Helmeppo was muttering something like, "I _told_ him crossing Zoro was a bad idea…" as Coby waved wildly, trying to gesture to Luffy that he should turn and run for his life while he still could. Luffy did not even seem to notice.

"If you're mocking me, I'll punch you straight into next week," Zoro growled.

"I'd like to see you try," Luffy snorted. "You couldn't even knock me out."

At this point, Coby and Helmeppo gave up attempting to gesture to Luffy that he should back away slowly, opting instead to duck into the safety of the storage closet that was located on the landing halfway up the stairs.

"I suppose you're going to run away from me?" Zoro scoffed. "A scrawny kid like you couldn't do anything."

"I don't run away," Luffy said matter-of-factly. "I fight."

It was impossible to say which had leapt at the other, but the next moment, Luffy and Zoro were a pile of punches and kicks. Coby and Helmeppo peeked out of the closet to see no more than a blur of colors as the two boys attacked one another. But what they could not see was that the boys were so well matched in strength that neither was being very badly hurt, since fists and knees and feet and elbows that meant harm were often caught before they met their mark.

Luffy and Zoro might have gone on fighting that way until they dropped with exhaustion, but the sound of brisk footsteps coming from the bottom of the staircase made them freeze. Luffy's knee halted abruptly on its way to Zoro's stomach, while Zoro's fist heading for Luffy's face froze mere millimeters away from Luffy's nose.

The footsteps were brisk and loud, indicating that the one walking was considerably heavy. There was a rhythm to them that suggested that the person had a limp.

Coby and Helmeppo ducked right back into the closet, and didn't even stop there—they pushed their way to the back, grabbed mops and brooms to push in front of them, and then finally dropped to the floor and began throwing buckets and rags and bottles on top of themselves.

"It's Dad," Helmeppo muttered, eyes wide in terror. "He'll be furious when he sees I'm not studying in homeroom…"

Coby quickly shushed his friend.

A similar state of panic was taking over the pair on the upper landing.

"Quick," Zoro whispered, eyes wide. "Get inside—it's Mr. Morgan!"

The two teens darted into the room in a mad, frantic scramble just before a large, muscular, intimidating man who lacked half his right arm came marching around the mid-way landing.

"Wha-" Kuina began in surprise.

"Shh!" Zoro whispered frantically. "Mr. Morgan! He'll expel me if he finds out I've been fighting again!"

Kuina rolled her eyes and went back to dusting the pile of old books.

"I need a reason to be here," Zoro whispered, gesturing wildly. "I don't think he's going to fall for the I've-been-reading-Shakespeare thing again."

"Actually," Kuina said, barely managing to hold down a laugh, "I don't think he fell for it the first time. The fact that it was Romeo and Juliet might have made him just a bit suspicious. The fact that you were holding it upside down was just a dead giveaway."

Zoro glowered.

"You're not helping." He turned to Luffy, who was listening with his arms crossed beside Zoro. Neither seemed to realize that they had been in a violent fistfight only moments before—a small detail that amused Kuina to no end. "Come on, can't you think of a reason to be here?"

"I need my textbooks," Luffy replied without missing a beat. "I don't have any."

"You're new, I suppose?" Kuina smiled. "What grade are you in?"

"11th."

"Do you know what electives you'll be taking?"

"Electives?"

"The classes that you can choose from. You need to take at least two. But I suppose you haven't chosen yet?"

"No one's asked."

"Okay; then I'll just give you the textbooks you'll need for normal classes, and you can come back if you decide to take any electives that require textbooks, all right?"

"Great!" said Luffy enthusiastically. When Kuina went into the room behind her desk to get the books, Luffy turned to look at the figure standing in the door.

Mr. Morgan was glaring with his thick, robust arms crossed over his chest.

"What are you doing in the library, Mr. Zoro?" the intimidating man demanded.

"He came with me," Luffy told the man cheerfully. "I'm new and I needed textbook, and Zoro's my new best friend, so he came with me to the library!"

"Oh yeah," Zoro agreed, nodding maybe a little too enthusiastically as he slung an arm around Luffy's shoulders. "Best friends do everything together!"

Mr. Morgan's look could only be described as a vast ocean of suspicion and accusation that contained infinitely more accusation than suspicion.

"Here're your books," Kuina said, returning with a pile of five books. Mr. Morgan's eyebrows shot up as though it were the most shocking thing in the world that Luffy's claim had had any truth to it. "But I'm afraid we don't allow you to borrow textbooks—you have to buy them. So I'll need to add it to your tuition fees. What's your name?"

"Luffy," Luffy told her.

"Your full name," Kuina clarified.

"Oh. Luffy D. Monkey."

None of them noticed Mr. Morgan, at the door, furrowing his brow and muttering under his breath. "Monkey… Monkey. I know I've heard that name before. Where've I heard that name before?" Kuina sat down in front of her computer and began to type something when Luffy suddenly remembered, "Hey, this is about money, right?"

Kuina looked up from the screen and raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

"Oh. Then Makino said that everything has to go under the name Shanks Red."

"R- Red? Shanks Red?" Mr. Morgan asked from the doorway. Luffy looked up at him curiously.

"Yeah, that's my guardian's name."

"A- ah," Mr. Morgan said with a sudden (and obviously fake) smile. "Well then, Mr. Monkey, Mr. Roronoa. I hope you have a very nice day." And then he was gone.

Zoro's arm instantly retracted as he, Luffy, and Kuina stared after Mr. Morgan.

"What was it about your guardian's name that sent him running?" asked Zoro.

"Maybe because he thought anyone who's red is about to die of fever?" suggested Luffy.

"Or maybe it was actually _your_ name that got him. Monkey. You actually _do_ resemble a monkey, so maybe the thought of teaching a primate made him sick enough to run away."

Luffy burst into laughter. "Didn't he run away at your name? After all, Zoro sounds a lot like Zorro, and Zorro's supposed to fight evil tyrants like him."

Zoro smirked. "Oh yeah. And Zorro's son actually rebelled against the teacher in _The Legend of Zorro_ , didn't he?"

"He probably thought you were going to pull some Zorro moves on him and throw him out."

"Actually, I _would_ do that if I thought I could get away with it. No one likes that guy, anyway."

"Great! I don't like him. When you decide to rebel against him, tell me and we'll do it together, okay?"

Neither Zoro nor Luffy had been aware that their voices had been steadily amplifying as they grew more and more absorbed in their conversation, and so were rather surprised when Kuina cut in.

"Quiet in the library," Kuina warned them, amused by their expressions of shock as they looked at her, as though they had completely forgotten that she was in charge of keeping quiet and order in this place. "You should probably be getting to class soon, Mr. Monkey—or can I call you Luffy?"

"Luffy's fine," Luffy replied without any apparent thought as he looked at the pile of books. "Am I supposed to carry those around all the time?" he asked.

"Until you're assigned a locker, yes. Do you want to buy a book bag, too?" Luffy nodded enthusiastically. "Okay; they're all the same style, but you can have blue, red, black, white, or green."

"Red," said Luffy without a moment of hesitation. Kuina went back into the back room and brought him the bag, putting his books into it for him.

"I noticed that you didn't have anything with you at all, so I took the liberty of giving you a pencil box containing pencils, erasers, and pens. Call it a gift from me to the first friend Zoro's made in ten years."

"Hey!" protested Zoro. "I never said he was my friend! And I've made friends! Like Johnny and Yosaku!"

"He helped you after you two had a fist fight, you had a nice little conversation, and you two seem to get along perfectly," Kuina snorted. "If that doesn't make him your friend, I don't know what does. And Johnny and Yosaku are your fan club—not friends."

"Yep!" Luffy told him cheerfully. "We're friends now, so you're part of my gang!"

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up. What gang?"

"I'm starting a gang! It'll be a secret gang that no one knows about except our close friends—like Kuina, since she's your best friend—and we'll have a secret hideaway where we can have fun and everything!"

Zoro stared.

"Wait—you're not like those guys like Bellamy and Foxy and Buggy and all that, who start creating their own exclusive fraternities?"

"But isn't a fraternity supposed to be all boys?" Luffy asked. "I don't care whether people are girls or boys. We're just going to get together and have fun, and no one else'll find out."

Zoro turned this over in his mind.

"I think you mean a secret society," he said slowly. "Not a gang."

"Secret society sounds so complicated," Luffy said. "It's a gang, and that's that."

"Great," said Zoro, lifting his dark green book bag onto his shoulder. "You have fun, then."

"Hey, you're a member, too!" shouted Luffy as he ran after Zoro. But he didn't forget to wave to Kuina as he left the room. "Bye, Kuina! Thanks for everything!"

Kuina smiled as she went back to dusting the old books. She could hear a string of 'am not's and 'are too's from down the staircase, and she never doubted that Zoro would concede to Luffy within the next ten minutes.

Indeed, ten minutes later Zoro _had_ conceded to Luffy, but that was the least of his concerns at that particular moment.

"Where are we?" Luffy asked Zoro.

"You don't know where we are? What do you mean you don't know where we are?"

"What? Hey! How am I supposed to know? I've never been in this building before! How can you not know your way around here? I thought it was your fourth year here!"

"I know my way around! I just thought that you knew yours, so I was following you! And for your information, this is my fifth year here."

"Fifth? I thought you're supposed to graduate high school after four. Why haven't you graduated?"

Zoro opened his mouth to reply, and then frowned in thought.

"Actually, I don't really know," he said, sounding sincerely shocked and puzzled. He thought for a moment, and then his face cleared as he remembered. "Because they didn't give me a diploma."

Luffy gave Zoro a long look. "Yeah, I get that. Why didn't they?"

"Didn't I just say I didn't know?"

"How can you not know why you didn't graduate?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Because it's _your_ graduation! You're pretty stupid, aren't you?"

"Says the one who didn't know he was supposed to have textbooks!" Zoro glared.

"Well, I've never been to a school before."

"What were you doing, then? Dancing around in the fields and smelling the flowers?"

"Sometimes, yeah." Zoro would have gaped at Luffy's response if he hadn't gone on without a single pause. "I'm hungry. I need food."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Then go to the cafeteria."

"Which way _is_ the cafeteria?" asked Luffy, looking left and right. Zoro looked around as well.

"Well, I don't think it's here…I think it had a roof…"

"It did," Luffy nodded. "At least, I think it did. And…" He peered over the edge of the sudden cliff that seemed to go all the way around the ground that he was standing on. "I think I've solved the mystery!"

"What mystery?" asked Zoro curiously.

"The mystery of where we are!"

"What mystery? I know perfectly well where we are!"

"Didn't you just say you didn't?"

"No, I said that you were supposed to know."

"Okay, where are we?"

"In the school."

"Wrong!" Luffy informed him cheerfully.

"What do you mean, wrong?" snapped Zoro. "Where else would we be? We're in the school!"

"No, we're _on_ the school."

"No we're- What do you mean 'we're on the school'?" Zoro demanded incredulously.

Luffy pointed over the cliff beside him.

"Look. The ground's way, way down under us, there're no walls around us, and there's no roof on top of us, so either we're on a cliff or we're on top of the school." He paused for a moment. "Do you think we're on a cliff?"

"No…" said Zoro slowly, looking at his feet. "See? I think this ground is too smooth to be natural."

"No, look!" said Luffy, picking up a rock. "There wouldn't be rocks on a roof, right?"

"I've seen people chucking rocks onto the roof fairly often."

"From five floors down?"

"No, out the windows."

"…Was that more of that 'sarcasm' thing that you were talking about earlier?"

"No, I was serious."

"You throw rocks up onto the roof out of windows?"

"When classes are particularly boring, yeah."

"No wonder you didn't graduate."

"Hey!"

"So we're on the roof then. How do we get down?"

"We could jump," Zoro suggested.

Luffy looked down.

"Do you think it'd be safe? We're about five floors above the ground."

"Probably. Are you actually scared?"

"Of Makino when she finds out I jumped off a roof again? Yeah! Last time I jumped off a roof, she didn't let me have meat for a _week!_ I _need_ meat!"

"…She wouldn't let you eat just because you jumped off a roof?"

"Yeah! Isn't it barbaric?"

"…Maybe we should see if we can find any stairs first."

"Yeah, maybe we should," Luffy agreed.

They walked around the edge of the roof. Unfortunately, it was a sheer drop on all sides, and the roof was completely flat except for the stones.

"So how do we get down?" asked Zoro.

"How should I know?" Luffy retorted. Then there was a long pause during which Zoro stared at Luffy. He could almost hear the gears turning in the boy's mind; he waited to hear what logic his new 'gang leader' was working with. Then Luffy finally spoke. "How did we get up here in the first place?"

Zoro thought for a moment.

"I don't really know. Do you?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I did."

Zoro shrugged. Luffy shrugged back. Why did it matter how they'd gotten onto the roof anyway? They wanted to get down.

"Okay," Zoro finally said. "Here's what we'll do. I'll hold you by the ankles and dangle you off the edge of the roof. We probably ought to be able to get you down far enough that you can open the nearest window. You'll go in, then I'll jump down and you have to catch me."

This plan worked as far as Zoro dangling Luffy down by the ankles. The window that he was lowered in front of was locked, and when he knocked, the people in the classroom stared at him as if he were a ghost. He saw the teacher stare for a few moments before she collapsed on the floor in a dead faint and the students ran out of the room, screaming.

"Pull me up, Zoro," Luffy called up to his friend. "I think they're scared. Probably they thought I was a thief or something because they don't know me."

Zoro hauled Luffy back up, muttering something about 'stupid cowards.'

"Let's try another window," Luffy suggested. "This time I'll dangle you down."

"Are you even strong enough?" asked Zoro dubiously. Luffy's eyes narrowed.

"Want to fight me again?"

"Fine, fine," Zoro grumbled. "Just don't drop me."

This time the room was empty, but the window was open. Zoro managed to tumble in, and then held out his hands and caught Luffy by the ankles as the boy fell, unceremoniously dragging him in. If anyone else had been on the scene, they probably would have commented that it was amazing that Luffy didn't bruise or complain from this rough treatment.

It was only after they were out in the hallways, once again with no idea where they were, that Zoro stopped to speak again.

"So, what'd you say your first class was?"

"Um…" Luffy dug through his pockets and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. He pulled it open and looked at it a moment, then, "Not this." And it was crumpled up again and tossed over his shoulder. He went digging again, brought out another crumpled piece of paper, looked at it, crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder again. It was the eighth sheet of paper that he finally gave a triumphant, "Ah ha!"

"Wait a minute," Zoro muttered, leaning down to pick up the crumpled papers behind Luffy. "What are…?"

He trailed off as he stared at the first sheet blankly. Then the second, then the third, then the forth, until the seventh. And then he looked up, brandishing the seven sheets in front of him. On each of them was written a single word in a childish scribble: "MEAT."

"Luffy?"

"My first class is physics!" Luffy announced triumphantly.

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice," Zoro said dismissively, "but what are these supposed to be?"

Luffy spared the seven sheets of paper a glance.

"Shopping lists."

"Why do you have _seven_ shopping lists?" Zoro demanded.

"Because I never remember to throw them away." Luffy's voice was distracted, for he was very busy inspecting his crumpled schedule.

"But why is meat the only thing you need meat every time you go shopping?"

Luffy was not listening.

"Ooh, look at this! It says 'ysilguE!' That sounds like a fun class!"

"Hey, listen to me when- 'ysilguE?'" Zoro looked over at Luffy's paper. Unfortunately, though a senior, Zoro was not at all capable at reading upside down; not even a word as simple as 'English'. "It does! Why do you get a class like that? We never got that in junior year!"

"What class do you have next?" Luffy asked curiously.

Zoro thought a moment, then shrugged.

"Well, that's not very helpful," huffed Luffy, and like a bolt of lightning, his hands were digging through Zoro's pockets. "Hey, these pockets are big—and full!"

And before Zoro even had time to open his mouth in protest about Luffy invading his privacy in the first place, both his pockets were inside out and the contents had clattered to the floor. Luffy stared down at the scattered junk on the ground for a moment.

"You thought my lists were strange, and your pockets were filled with _these_ things?" demanded the younger boy incredulously.

"It's _my_ privacy, and none of _your_ business!" snapped Zoro, but Luffy was not listening.

"A few used staples…a needle…a rock…a couple balls of thread…a crumpled shopping list…" Luffy was throwing each unimportant object into the garbage can nearby as he listed them off, but at this point stopped to look at Zoro with a look that clearly said, "Hypocrite!" before he went back to listing. "A watch that doesn't have hands…a piece of…something." He looked at Zoro questioningly.

"Of a broken plate," Zoro told him, picking up offending object and tossing it into the garbage can. "I wondered where all this stuff had gone!"

"What, did you mistake your pockets for a garbage bin or something?" asked Luffy. His tone was not insulting, simply questioning, so Zoro let it go, though if it had been anyone else, he would have made an attempt to hurt them seriously with the pocket knife that he was putting back into his pocket.

So Luffy and Zoro worked together, gathering the shell, safety pin, wood splinter, pieces of bright pink confetti, used light bulb, unused staples, hairpin, rubber band, plastic leaf, stick, former mud ball ('former' because it had broken into clumps of dirt), piece of cardboard, plastic R magnet, kitten stickers, photo of a puppy, and scraps of meat into the garbage can. Or rather, Zoro _attempted_ to put the smelly, discolored scraps of meat into the garbage, only to have Luffy snatch them away with a cry of, "Meat!" and shove them into his mouth.

"Er…Luffy?" Zoro addressed him hesitantly, returning the magnifying glass and small bottle of some sort of liquid to his pocket. "You might not want to eat that…it looked sort of…grey."

But Luffy had already swallowed, and was looking at him oddly.

"Why should it matter if it's grey? It's still meat."

Zoro searched for the answer to that. Kuina had something about…what was it? Food poisoning? But how could it be poisoned when he didn't remember putting any poison into it? Unless poison was something that just appeared without anyone doing anything… No, that couldn't be right. When someone was poisoned, someone else had to put the poison there. Unless it was suicide, but that was a different issue. Poison didn't just appear out of nowhere, and he had no memory of putting poison in the food, hence it must not be poisoned. All that time spent in the library was probably just confusing Kuina.

"Eh, never mind," Zoro shrugged. "Doesn't make a difference."

But then Luffy started to choke.

"What _is_ this meat?" he managed to demand between chokes. "It tastes _horrible_!"

 _Ah,_ thought Zoro. _This must be why._ But it still wasn't poison. It just didn't taste good.

Or was it poison if it didn't taste good? No, that wasn't right either. He could remember eating some horrible-tasting food that didn't make him sick or kill him. Hence it wasn't poison, and hence poison was not something that didn't taste good. Yep, Kuina was just really confused.

But then Luffy dug into his other pocket and brought out a handful of what was, unmistakably, (fresh) meat, and began to stuff his mouth with it.

"You carry meat around in your pocket?" Zoro didn't bother to disguise the disgust in his voice.

"You carried it too. Only yours was yucky." This time, the muttered, "Hypocrite" that followed was audible.

"So, what _is_ your next class?" asked Luffy, as they began to walk in a random direction down the hallway after he had swallowed.

"No idea," replied Zoro promptly.

"Then how do you know where to go all the time?" Luffy was extremely curious to know. Gramps, and even Makino and Ace always told him that it was extremely important to know where he was going to go, or else he would get lost.

"Whatever class I find first," Zoro replied, looking at Luffy as though to say that it was only natural. Luffy nodded, apparently receiving this information as if it was only natural. Of course! That was much more logical. The schedule didn't tell him where to find any of the classes, so it would make sense to go to the one that he found first.

"So, now we just wander around till we find our first class?" he asked, just to be sure.

"Of course," Zoro replied, again giving Luffy a look as though to say that it was simply normal.

"Okay, let's go then!" chirped Luffy. And so they headed for 'class'.

Luffy and Zoro did not go far, however, before they found themselves completely lost again. Well…actually, lost _and_ cramped. And unable to move, in Luffy's case.

"That's it," Luffy growled after several unsuccessful attempts at getting himself out of the tight, stuffy space that he was crammed into. "After we get out of here, _I'm_ leading."

" _You're_ leading?" Zoro repeated in disbelief. "You got us _into_ this mess in the first place!"

"Me? I was following you!"

"Well, you could have told me not to go into the doorway!"

"How was I supposed to know it would be so small behind it? You were blocking my view!"

"If I could see you, I'd hit you for that."

Luffy snorted.

"You mean if you could reach me."

You see, the 'doorway' that Zoro had led them into that they should not have entered happened to be the doorway of a closet. Now, ordinarily, even after Zoro had entered and stuffed himself into the bottom shelf in search of a staircase or something similar that would allow him to continue on his hopelessly lost way, Luffy might have noticed that this was not a doorway that led to anywhere. However, the bell had sounded just then, and he had jumped a foot into the air and bolted into the closet, somehow leaping up onto the top shelf as though a troop of soldiers were after him (which, in his mind, they could very well have been).

But as anyone in the school knew, the sounding of the bell meant that a class had ended, so the hall had filled with people in a matter of moments. One of those first people in the hallway had, incidentally, seen only the open closet and not the two teenagers inside, and so closed the door. So now Luffy and Zoro were stuck arguing through the shelves that lay between them.

Perhaps the saddest part was that there _was_ a doorknob on the inside of the closet door, for it had once functioned as a small bathroom. The toilet and sink had been removed when it was remodeled into a large closet and shelves fitted in, but no one had thought to remove the doorknob on the inside. However, this doorknob fell on the shelf that was second from the bottom and third from the top; neither of them could reach it.

Actually, Luffy and Zoro were arguing more out of boredom than any particular resentment. If anyone had asked Zoro, he would have said that they had been stuck there for at least an hour; if anyone had asked Luffy, he would have replied, "hours and hours and _hours_!" The fact of the matter was that they had been stuck for barely ten minutes, and already they were going out of their minds with boredom.

But after ten minutes, even arguing becomes boring when you know that you're only doing so for lack of anything better to do. So the two boys fell silent. Zoro had removed the pocketknife from his pocket, and had begun carving patterns into the mop handle on the floor nearby; Luffy, having the misfortune to have landed in the empty shelf where there was nothing to play with, started tapping on the wall. It was precisely 42.47 seconds before he realized that if he hit hard with his fists with a certain rhythm, he could make it sound like he was playing the drums.

"Would you just _stop_ that up there?" Zoro burst out after enduring about forty more seconds of banging that echoed in his ears and gave him a headache.

"But I'm boooooooored!" came the whiny reply from above. Zoro growled.

Obviously, he had a choice between banging in his ears and whining above his head. Both gave him a headache, and given the chance, he would have gone as far away from the sounds as he could. However, given that the fact that they could not go anywhere was what was _resulting_ in the horrible noises, he knew that his best bet was to just hope with all his might that someone opened the door soon.

When Zoro did not reply to Luffy's whine, the banging soon resumed.

Zoro growled to himself and glared angrily at the mop on the floor. He stabbed his pocketknife into the mop and then crossed his arms. It was time for a nap.

When Zoro awoke, it took a moment before he realized what had woken him. His brows furrowed when he realized it.

There was silence. Complete silence. But he could have sworn that he had woken up to the rhythmic banging suddenly falling out of rhythm with a sound like a 'snap' and then a cry of surprise and then a 'thump' accompanied by a grunt and another 'snap' before there had been silence.

"Luffy?" he tried. There was no reply. Zoro frowned. Had he imagined the sounds? But if he had, why were they so vivid and complicated? If he had imagined it, he was quite certain it would have been something more like 'bang' 'thump' rather than 'snap' 'ah!' 'thump' 'oof!' 'snap' '…'.

Zoro was perplexed. Had someone opened the door, and then Luffy left without him? No; he had spent a few hours with the boy at least, and knew that he would not leave him stuck in a closet. Then had he fallen asleep? The thought seemed puzzling, for Luffy had seemed like a ball of energy that never required refueling. But then again, everyone needed rest, and boredom could put even the most energetic to sleep. It was a proven fact, if Mr. Wapol's—what did he teach again?—classes were any indication.

Zoro was about to go back to sleep when his tiny space was flooded with blinding light.

It took a moment before he realized that the flooding light meant that the door had opened. It took another moment before he realized that the open door meant that he could leave. And then another moment passed before he realized that he had to move if he wanted to get out.

Zoro rolled out from under the shelf above him, stood, and stretched. It felt absolutely _wonderful_ to be able to move freely again.

And then it suddenly occurred to him that someone must have opened the door. The door couldn't open on its own after all. No, wait—could it? Well, he supposed if something were propped up against the wall next to the door…and a bunch of other things propped up against the wall in a line beside that, going all the way down the hall…and then a great, strong gust of wind blew and knocked one over and they all went down like dominoes and- No. Wait. There only had to be _one_ stick next to the door. Then a gust of wind could blow it down, and it could hit the doorknob and make it turn… But would that make a doorknob turn? No, probably not. Okay, then a string…a really, really, really _long_ string…could be tied to the doorknob…really, really, really tightly…and then someone walking down some other hallway could accidentally trip over the string, and pull it…and it would be tied so tightly that the doorknob would turn! That was it!

But wait a second. Had there been a string tied to the doorknob when he'd opened it? Maybe…but no, he didn't think so. Maybe it was an invisible thread? One of those things used in movies? That would make sense, since the one who tripped over it and accidentally pulled it wouldn't realize that it was there either. But invisible threads weren't _really_ invisible…were they? He thought he recalled someone—maybe it was Kuina…but no, if it was about movies, it was probably Johnny—telling him that invisible threads weren't really invisible. Just thin enough that they were hard to see. Did that mean that they couldn't be felt, either? No, they'd have to be solid, or else those people 'flying' in movies would fall down. Okay, he hadn't felt anything like that when he was opening the closet, either, so that was ruled out, too.

And…why had he been doing this again? Oh yes. Whether a human was required to open the closet door. Well, sticks and strings were ruled out, but maybe a gust of wind that was really, really, really, _really_ strong could turn the doorknob and open-

"Roronoa!"

Zoro jumped out of his skin and winced. Yep. It was a person who had opened the door. And if he wasn't mistaken, that voice… Then again, it _would_ make sense that the janitor would be the one to open a supplies closet, wouldn't it?

"Hello, Ippon," Zoro muttered, slowly turning around to face the glaring janitor as his mind whirled, working overtime to find a way to get away without attracting to much attention to himself. And his eyes widened at the sight before him.

The school janitor, Ippon Matsu, was holding up a mop. The handle must have been smooth once, but it was now ragged with lines and curves carved roughly in no particular design. To top it off, a pocketknife was stuck clean through the middle of the handle.

Oops. Yes, maybe he should have considered that the mop would be Ippon's. The guy had already been trying to get him expelled at every corner. This would be the last straw.

" _Hello?!_ " Ippon demanded, his voice near tears. "You've _ruined_ my _mop_! Do you know how much these things _cost_ these days? I can't ask the principal to buy _another_ one!"

"Erm, yes, let me see that," Zoro mumbled, snatching the mop from the distraught man's hands. He made to wrench the pocketknife out of the handle.

"Oh no you don't!" Ippon screeched, making to pounce on Zoro.

_Uh-oh._

Ippon had realized what Zoro was doing. The only piece of evidence that it was Zoro who had ruined the mop was the pocketknife. Ippon had made several attempts to set up Zoro so that he would be expelled in the past, so the principal would not believe him unless he presented some sort of solid evidence. The fact that it was Zoro's pocketknife was only a minor detail, for Ippon could have stolen or found it; the fact that it was sticking clean through the wooden mop handle with no sign of a struggle to get it into that state was a dead giveaway. Not many people had that kind of strength.

Zoro stepped quickly out of the way when Ippon pounced at him. He tugged and tugged, but the knife stuck fast. Ippon was leaping to his feet, a menacing glint in his eyes.

 _Oh well. Better than being expelled,_ Zoro shrugged to himself.

_SNAP!_

Ippon froze. He stared at the mop broken clean in two as Zoro hastily picked up his fallen pocketknife.

As Zoro began to run for his life down the hall, folding and pocketing the knife as he went, he heard a shrill scream of horror behind him. He began to run even faster, eyes wide with terror.

He knew when he was in for it. But in this case, he probably could get away if he wasn't caught… Yeah, that sounded about right.

Wait—where was Luffy? If only that idiot were there, he might have some sort of chance. He was really good at making up excuses on a second's notice—and real excuses that no one could deny, too.

Zoro cursed under his breath.

_Where's that moron when you need him?_

"I am going to _skin_ you before I split you _limb_ from _limb_ , and then I'll drop you into a giant pot of boiling water before I _kill_ you!" came the shriek behind him that said that the janitor had regained control of his mind and was beyond the point of 'rage'. "I _curse_ you Roronoa! I curse the day you were born! May you live a _sad_ , _miserable_ , _weak_ , _lonely_ life for the rest of your days! May you be _expelled_! May you die a _sad_ , _miserable_ , _slow_ , _painful_ death!"

This was followed by the clanging and clashing of something obviously large and heavy being pulled out from somewhere—presumably the closet.

Zoro chanced a look back at the end of the hallway. It was always best to know what your mortal enemy was going to try to kill you with, after all. He turned pale.

Ippon was brandishing a vacuum cleaner—no, _the_ vacuum cleaner. It was the newest model from some big company whose name he couldn't remember, and was basically a pipe without the big box attached to the end. The students had been crowding around it to look at it at the end of the last trimester. It was extremely strong, and the gap that sucked was about three times as large as a normal vacuum cleaner's. The pipe was larger as well, so as to perform the functions usually performed by the box that this model lacked. Worst of all, it was _battery powered_.

At the end of the last term, some freshman had pulled a prank on Ippon while he was vacuuming. Ippon had turned on the freshman and turned the vacuum cleaner on him as well—and had latched it onto the back of his shirt. The horrified freshman discovered that the vacuum was too powerful for him to pull away, and after about half a minute of sucking, his shirt had ripped right off his torso to be sucked up by the vacuum cleaner—just like that.

That had been a simple prank. Ippon was beyond furious with Zoro at the moment. Zoro remembered his threat about skinning him, and went even paler. He looked down at his skin. It couldn't…could it? He looked up. Ippon was getting closer and closer.

Nope, this was one risk Zoro was not willing to take. He turned on his heel and ran like he was the gingerbread man.

Zoro paused.

No, wait—the gingerbread man had run right into the jaws of a fox. Bad comparison. No, he ran like he was a rabbit- No, too cute. A cheetah? Cheetahs _did_ the chasing. A…squirrel? Absolutely not. No way was he climbing any trees. A cat? Too sly and cunning to be running like he was now. A peacock? Yuck. How about-

"Roronoa!" A sudden 'vroom!' joined the voice.

Zoro didn't need to look over his shoulder to know that Ippon was almost on him, and had turned on the vacuum. He turned pale as a ghost, and forgetting all about the simile, ran for his life like there was no tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to state, for the record...
> 
> Yes, I do publish using the first name Kai. It's a pseudonym. I've always liked the name Kai (because of The Snow Queen, and because it transliterates so well into Japanese), hence why the only OC in this story has that name. Later, coming up with a pseudonym, I decided to use it for entirely different reasons.
> 
> It's weird, now, to have this character named Kai, but I didn't want to retcon her out of this story 10 years down the line, either. She won't be in the sequels, so at least it's a temporary discomfort.


	3. Nami Mikan

Nami Mikan stared in bewilderment at the pile of teenage boy that had just fallen in front of her. She had been eating lunch as normally as usual, alone as usual in a small, isolated clump of bushes behind the school that she had claimed as her own, when out of nowhere, a lump that had looked like a pile of discarded clothing at first glace had fallen with a 'thump' a mere foot in front of her, making her jump out of her skin.

It was only after about ten seconds of getting over the shock that she realized that it was not a pile of clothing, but a human being. She looked up at the building behind her, but there were no windows above her. For a moment, she looked down in horror, thinking that perhaps he had been thrown off the roof in one of those stupid pranks that the college fraternities had a tendency to pull.

Then the figure clad in a red sleeveless shirt and blue shorts groaned, putting her fears that it was dead to rest.

She hastily uncurled the body so that it was lying on its back.

"Ugh…my back…" the boy groaned. He seemed to be about her age, she noted. So he was probably a student.

"Are you okay?" Nami asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," said the boy, sitting up with a wince. "Oh, my back!"

"I'm not surprised," Nami said dryly. "Where'd you fall from, though? The roof?"

"No," the boy shook his head, suddenly cheerful. "See, I was stuck in the closet and really, really bored, and then I fell out and landed here."

Nami blinked.

"Pardon me?"

"I was stuck in the closet and really, really bored, and-"

"No, no, no," Nami cut him off. "Could you start from the beginning? Did someone get you stuck in the closet?"

"Yeah," said Luffy with a grin that would have suggested that he had not just been victim to a cruel prank. "Zoro got us stuck in there."

"Zoro? As in Zoro Roronoa?" Nami was bewildered. "But he _never_ pulls pranks on people unless they get in his- Wait. 'Us'? Are you telling me that Zoro managed to get himself stuck in a closet _again_?" Luffy blinked blankly, but Nami went on. "And he got you stuck along with him? Why were you following him? Listen—you're obviously new here, or else you'd know that you never follow Zoro, but there're a couple things you should know-"

"Oh, I know," Luffy informed her. "See, I was lost at first, so these people called Coby and Helmeppo helped me, and they were telling me all sorts of stuff, like don't go to the school doctor, and don't get in the way of Zoro and…what were their names? Some smoke guy and some rag guy."

"Smoke guy and rag guy?" Nami interrupted. "Smoker, you mean? Yeah, you definitely want to stay out of his way, especially if you're a rule-breaker. But who's the 'rag guy'?"

"I forget…maybe it was something about a cloth…or was it dirt? No, maybe it was cleaning. Or something about wiping."

After a moment of silence, Nami burst into laughter.

"Wiper! Don't ever let him hear the way you just mutilated his name—he'll beat you to bloody pulp!"

"Coby and Helmeppo said the same thing. And Helmeppo was really, really serious that I should never borrow money from this Nami person-"

" _What?!_ " Nami exclaimed in indignation. "I am going to catch that girly little Helmeppo Morgan and wring all the life out of his freshman self!"

Luffy looked at Nami in alarm.

"What? Why?"

Nami was on the verge of cursing Luffy into Hell ten times over when she remembered that he was new, and as top student of the senior class, it was her duty to set a model for her classmates and be kind to the new kid who had, quite obviously, already been having a not-so-ideal first day. Honestly, how he could be grinning like he was after having to put up with that stuck-up son of Mr. Morgan in addition to following the guy who was permanently lost around was beyond her.

"Let me introduce myself. I'm a senior, Nami Mikan."

"Nami Mikan? But that's… Oh!" Luffy's eyes widened in understanding. "So you're the one I'm not supposed to borrow money from?"

Nami did not know what to say to that. Normally she would have turned her anger on the questioner, but his entirely sincere manner of asking the question seemed to have rendered her speechless.

"That's strange," Luffy went on. "From what Helmeppo said, I thought you'd be really mean. But you seem nice to me…"

Nami could not resist a smirk.

"You tell Zoro that, and he'll rip you limb from limb. No one who's borrowed money from me without paying it back with the interest I set likes me very much, and Zoro owes me more than anyone else by far." Honestly, Nami didn't know why she was speaking to the boy so openly. She had never stopped herself from keeping new people in ignorance so that she could exploit them later before. But this boy just looked so innocent and trusting that he seemed like a child, and she found that too adorable to think of her usual exploitation.

Nami shook her head clear. What was she thinking?

"Anyway, there's some other stuff you should know. First of all, Zoro Roronoa's hopelessly lost from dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn. Unless he's in his dorm—his own, I mean, and it's not often that he gets there—he has no earthly idea where he is, no matter how he might protest otherwise. Just try asking him what state he's in. Last time, he answered 'Pluto,' the time before that it was 'Iceland,' and the time before that he stared at me as though I'd just asked him where I could find a hippopotamus in a tutu."

Luffy doubled over with laughter. Nami couldn't resist a small smile. It was nice to have someone laughing _with_ her rather than _at_ her for once. Usually people talking with her just smiled politely—either out of respect for her intelligence, maturity, and grades, or out of fear of her non-user-friendly money lending habits.

"I know, I know!" said Luffy though his laughter. "Earlier today we got stuck on the roof, and neither of us could remember how we got there, but I was just following him, so I thought he'd know, but he didn't! And then we didn't know where we were either, at first, so I looked off the edge, and realized we were on top of the school, but he wouldn't believe me!"

"He got himself stuck on the roof? Again?" Nami laughed. Then her brow furrowed, and her smile faded. "But how did you get off again?"

"Well," Luffy explained, "first Zoro dangled me down so I could try to open a window, but it was locked, and then when I knocked and tried to ask the people in the room to open the window, the lady at the front of the class just fell down and everybody else ran away."

He didn't hear Nami's muttered, "So _that's_ how that fifth-floor-ghost rumor started up this morning."

"So then we went to another place and I dangled Zoro down, and apparently the window was already open, so he went in, and then I jumped and he caught me."

Nami raised an eyebrow. She would have _loved_ to comment that that had been extremely dangerous, but then again, so would have staying up there and starving, and there was no known way to get down from there (or up, for that matter, but they seemed to have overcome that particular obstacle).

"Zoro's gotten himself stuck up on the roof before, you know," she said conversationally as she settled back against the school and resumed eating her lunch. "He-" Then she noticed the boy staring longingly at her lunch box. "Haven't you had lunch?" she asked in surprise.

Luffy shook his head sorrowfully.

"I've been wandering and stuck places all morning," he said miserably. "It's fun, but I'm so _hungry_! And I finished up all the meat in my pocket…"

Nami almost asked about the 'meat' comment before it suddenly occurred to her that this was probably the sort of occasion on which it was in her best interests to listen to the saying 'ignorance is bliss.'

"I've already eaten half, but do you want the rest?" she offered, holding out her lunch box.

Luffy's eyes brightened in delight at once.

"Really?" he asked, and he sounded so happy and grateful that Nami couldn't help smiling as she replied, "Really."

It was barely five seconds before she regretted her decision. Luffy started gobbling down the contents like he was a vacuum cleaner. The miracle of the matter was how, though he was eating more messily than she had ever seen anyone eat before, almost all the food ended up in his mouth, rather than on the ground or on his face, as generally seemed to happen to those who ate messily.

It was absolutely disgusting, the way he seemed to inhale his food; it was so disgusting that Nami could only stare, unable to look away. She sighed in relief when he finished eating, and shook her head as though to clear it of the memory of mere moments before. She gave a mental shudder.

_Disgusting._

As she attempted to think of various things—anything, practically—that would tear her mind away from the horribly gruesome sight of a teenager's meal (something she never would have thought could be described as 'gruesome' before), she suddenly hit upon a thought that made everything else fly from her mind.

"Did you say that you've been wandering around and being stuck all morning?" she asked in horror.

Luffy looked at her questioningly as he licked his fingers carefully for any tiny scrap of food that he might have missed.

"Yeah."

"So you've missed all your morning classes?"

Luffy stared at her. He blinked. And he blinked again. And then his eyes widened in horror.

"I've missed all my classes? Oh no! What am I supposed to do now? Ace said you get detention, and-"

"Calm down," Nami cut him off firmly. "What grade are you in, and what's your name?"

"Um…11th, and I'm Luffy D. Monkey."

"Monkey?" asked Nami, raising an eyebrow. "Have I heard that name before? I think I've commented on how stupid a name like Monkey-" She cut herself off and paled, instantly regretting her words. _Speaking without thinking again!_ she scolded herself. _Not again! Now he's going to get upset and start spreading rumors about how mean I am!_

But Luffy was not mad. He laughed.

"I know, isn't it?" he said, grinning at her. "Everyone says so! People used to tease me and be mean when I was little, and they said it suited me because I really was a monkey. But Ace made them stop, and now people don't talk about it much."

"Ace?" asked Nami. "As in the captain of the baseball team of the college sect?"

"Yeah. He's my big brother," Luffy told her. "And he's the coolest! I've never been able to beat him in a fight, either."

"Wait a second—you fought your brother?"

"Gramps always said we should be able to defend ourselves when- What's that sound?"

Indeed, a strange sound was coming from their right. There was a pattering, like footsteps of people running as fast as they possibly could, and a sound like the roar of some sort of engine or machine.

"Let's go see," suggested Nami, closing her lunch box and putting it in her white orange-striped stylish book bag. For the first time since he had received it, Luffy remembered the book bag that was still on his back. It was a good thing it was there, he realized, because otherwise he'd probably have forgotten it on the roof. And considering they couldn't go back there…

"I'm leaving you behind if you can't keep up," Nami called as she went ahead. Luffy grinned and followed.

They did not have to go far, however, before they saw a certain frantic green-haired young man running in their direction.

"Zoro?" Nami said, more of an exclamation of shock than anything.

"Why's he running like that?" Luffy asked, puzzled. "What's that guy behind him doing?"

"Ippon Matsu—the janitor!" Nami cried, and doubled over with laughter. "He's…trying to…attack Zoro…with the vacuum cleaner…of doom!" she managed to choke out through her laughter.

"The vacuum cleaner of doom?" asked Luffy. Why would doom be a vacuum cleaner of all things?

"It's the latest model from Kami Mechanics," Nami explained, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes and grinning widely. "It's so strong it sucked the shirt right off a student once. He's got this big grudge against Zoro for something he did in freshman year—I think it got Mr. Matsu expelled, and he was a senior at the time."

"The same year he borrowed the dollar from you?" Luffy asked.

"No, no, no," Nami shook her head. "Everyone seems to be making that mistake lately, since we're both seniors, but Zoro's _supposedly_ repeating his senior year, so it actually happened when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore."

Zoro reached them then.

"Save me," he panted, ducking behind Luffy. "I'd hit him, but it'd get me expelled, since a bruise's kind of solid evidence."

"Sure—I'll save you," Nami offered with a smile that was all too sweet. "And I'll double what you owe me now."

"I wasn't talking to you, she-devil," Zoro glared.

"Four hundred seventy-four dollars and seventy-one cents," Nami noted happily.

"Do you have what everyone owes you memorized like that?" Zoro asked her in annoyance.

"No, just you," she told him, still smiling sweetly. "You're the only one who's let it just keep accumulating for over three years, after all."

Luffy was laughing.

"Stop it," Zoro told Luffy indignantly.

"Move out of the way!" shouted the panting man who had finally reached them. He had to shout, for now that the vacuum cleaner was right there, its noise was almost deafening. "I will vanquish that evil monster once and for all!"

Luffy and Nami just stared at him. Or rather, Nami stared at him, wide-eyed, while Luffy looked at him a moment before doubling over with laughter. Either way, the fact remained that they were both of no help to Zoro when Ippon dove around Luffy and Nami to get at Zoro. Soon the two of them were running in circles around Luffy and Nami, and even Nami was laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"Can't _one_ of you _do_ something?" Zoro finally demanded, thwacking Luffy over the head on his forty-fifth lap around the pair. He would have done the same to Nami—only a lot harder—if only he hadn't been so fearful for his already-suffering wallet. It was impossible to tell whether he was shouting out of frustration, or just because he would not be heard otherwise. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

"Yes, yes," Nami said through chuckles, and gently laid a hand on Ippon's shoulder as he went by on his forty-seventh time around her (it only took them about two seconds per cycle). She addressed him, shouting to be heard. "What exactly did Zoro do, Mr. Matsu?"

"He broke my mop!" said Ippon, near tears, turning off the vacuum to make it easier to talk. Zoro sighed in relief, but made sure that Luffy was between himself and the janitor. "He carved it and stabbed it, and then he broke it because his pocket knife wouldn't come out!"

Zoro would have interrupted to defend himself, but Luffy had already caught his attention.

"She's cool! She'll be part of our gang, too!"

"No!" Zoro protested at once. "No! She's not nice! Not at all! She's a leech that leeches all the money out of you, then goes on to her next prey! She's a demon! A piranha! A she-devil disguised under the sugar coating of Little Miss Perfect!"

"She helped me," Luffy pointed out, completely unmoved by Zoro's tirade. "I'm the leader, remember? And if we're all in the same gang, she can't be mean to you! Well, not too much, anyway."

Zoro opened his mouth to protest. However, if there was anything that he had learned from being stuck in that closet, it was that it was, for some reason, impossible to win an argument with Luffy. Once he had made up his mind, it was impossible to change it. He could always just walk away and say he wanted no part in this if Nami were a part of it, but somehow, the idea was not very appealing. No one had ever dared insult him so casually; no one had matched him in a fist fight; no one had continued to follow him for more than five minutes when they realized that he had no idea which way he was going, and refused to go any other way; no one had ever wanted his friendship so determinedly.

He sighed. He had known this boy for less than five hours, and already he felt that Luffy was the best friend he had known all his life. Sure, he had known Kuina for ten years, but she was more rival than friend. Of course, they went to the occasional movie together, sparred every chance they got, and he spent more time with her than he spent with anyone else, but it was different from having a real best friend. He could not tell her how annoying the school was to him, because she would lecture him about being lucky that he could go to school at all; particularly one as prestigious as this. He could not rely on her to help him when he needed it, because she needed to be told to know that he needed help, and never in a million years would he ask anyone for help. He could not vent his frustration on her in anything but a spar, because when he started shouting at her, she took everything he said too seriously and never argued back for more than a few seconds when he said anything that she found particularly insulting; instead she was hurt.

So here he was, with no choice other than letting his mortal enemy (well, not quite, but close enough) join the gang that his best friend had formed a mere five hours ago.

"Fine," he snorted. "Do what you like."

Unfortunately, Luffy's hundred-watt-grin sort of killed his sulkiness. He would have to develop some sort of immunity—or at least resistance—to that, he noted to himself. Did Luffy have this effect on everyone?

"What?" said Nami, turning back to them as Mr. Matsu walked away, obviously happier than he had been earlier.

"You're part of my gang now!" Luffy told her cheerfully.

Nami blinked.

"Gang? What gang? You're a gangster?" Nami began to panic. She had been kind to a gangster? No! She couldn't have! Her reputation was at stake! "No, no, no, no, no!" she shouted, waving her hands frantically in front of her face. "No way am I joining a gang! Do you know what kind of reputation that gives people! They're terrible! No one will come near you, and everyone runs away from you! I _have_ to keep up a good reputation! That's the only reason they let me keep my job in the office and the only reason I-" Nami stopped herself. No, she was supposed to tell no one. Heck, she wasn't even supposed to let anyone know about her job in the office! If Nojiko found out…

Luffy was staring at her in confusion.

"What? Why? No one's been mean to me!"

"That's because you're new, and no one _knows_ that you're a gangster yet," the orange-haired girl explained desperately. "But once they find out-"

"It's like a secret society," Zoro explained. "No one's going to know about it but our best friends. And why worry about your reputation? If that's all you're worried about, just say you're tutoring us or something. Doing good deeds is supposed to make you climb the social ladder, isn't it?" He paused for dramatic effect before he went on, his tone mocking. "Oh wait, I forgot—you're _already_ at the top. You don't need to climb anymore!"

Nami sent him a death glare.

"You should be glad that there are no heavy, blunt objects or small, sharp objects in the vicinity. Otherwise you'd be on the ground unconscious."

"You, knock me out?" Zoro scoffed. "I'd like to see you try."

Nami held up her book bag threateningly. However, Luffy spoke up before the fight could progress any further. He didn't step between them—he didn't even move—and simply spoke. He didn't even address the fight.

"Come on," he said, and his ever-present smile apparently _was_ ever-present, because it was still there on his face as he spoke. Anyone would have thought that he hadn't even noticed or cared about the fight; Nami and Zoro, however, found themselves dubious. "Did you know we missed all our morning classes, Zoro! Nami'll help us out with that, right Nami?"

Nami nodded quickly, and then furrowed her brows in confusion. Had he just threatened her? No, that definitely wasn't a threat. What was it, then? She didn't know.

Zoro, on the other hand, simply shrugged and dropped the hand that had been about to go for his knife. Every gang _did_ need a leader to function properly, after all, even if it was more like a secret society. It did not surprise him very much that Luffy, so light-hearted and easy-going at a glance, had such an authoritative streak in him. Actually, he had sort of expected it. Luffy wasn't the sort to just start a group that would fall apart for lack of a leader.

"Fine," Nami sighed. She gave up trying to puzzle out Luffy D. Monkey—it would be much too hard. She would have as long as she needed to try to do so, anyway. "I'll tutor you two— _both_ of you—as long as you seem to need it. I'll meet with you wherever this 'gang' of yours meets. But I'm not a part of your gang, got that? I am simply helping you."

With that, she turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Okay then!" Luffy called after her cheerfully. "Then just meet us in that clump of bushes after school!" Then he paused. "Wherever that is," he added uncertainly.

This made Nami stop. She slapped a hand to her face.

 _Of course._ The pair of them would probably wind up in Canada by evening if she left them on their own. Zoro was bad enough, but Luffy didn't seem to help very much, either. Which meant that she was going to have to lead them around to make sure that they got to their respective classes. Wait—make that Luffy's classes. She really didn't know what credits Zoro lacked to graduate; she would have to look that up later.

"Show me your schedule, Luffy," she said, marching back up to the pair, stopping them as they moved to go on their way—with their backs facing the school, she might add—but her voice was not as sharp as she would have liked.

Luffy reached out to dig into his left pocket.

"Wrong pocket," Zoro hastily warned him. Luffy 'ah-ha'ed and went for the right pocket, from which he drew out a crumpled piece of paper which he handed to Nami. Nami unfolded it and stared for a moment. Then she turned it around so Luffy and Zoro could see it.

"And what, pray, am I supposed to do with this?" she asked, brandishing the paper with a giant 'MEAT' scribbled across it.

Luffy and Zoro stared. Luffy said, "Oops, wrong paper," while Zoro said, "You had _more_ of those?"

The next paper was blank. The one after that was, thankfully, the actual schedule.

"So you haven't been to any classes yet, right?" asked Nami. Luffy nodded. "Okay, then. I'll just take you to the office to explain that you followed Zoro all morning, and they'll do the rest."

"Telling them that I followed Zoro will explain why I missed all my morning classes?"

"Oh yeah. His lack of directional sense has made him into something of a celebrity throughout W.G. Institute. And Fuchsia, actually."

"Hey!"

"Great!" Luffy said, grinning at Nami and ignoring Zoro's indignant outburst. "Thanks, Nami!"

And so they started on their way. But Nami didn't forget to turn to Zoro as they began to walk.

"By the way, Zoro—five hundred thirty dollars and thirty-seven cents."

"What?" Zoro demanded. "I can't possibly have insulted you that much in five minutes!"

"Well, most is for getting Mr. Matsu off your heels," Nami shrugged. "I paid him forty dollars for a new mop, and I added just a bit more to your debt for the labor it required of me."

"A bit? Labor?!" Zoro could not believe it. "You talked for a couple seconds, opened your bag, took out your wallet, opened it, took out your money, and handed it to him! That isn't labor!"

"And then I closed the wallet, put it back in, closed the bag, bid Mr. Matsu a good day, and apologized for you," Nami said, speaking slowly as though explaining an elementary concept to a toddler. "Please, try to keep your facts straight."

Zoro's jaw dropped in absolute shock. He was torn between calling her a 'lazy, useless leech' and being completely appalled. In the end, he ended up spending a full minute speechless and motionless in shock.

Nami smirked and turned away, beginning to tell Luffy the story of the last time Zoro had gotten himself stuck on the roof. (He had gotten himself up there on a Friday morning with no idea of how he had gotten up, but as no one knew what class he would be in when, no one realized he was missing until the end of the day. By that time it was too late to call the fire department for a non-emergency, especially considering that the nearest fire station was a three hours' drive south. People had had to toss food up out the windows to him, and when the small fire truck had finally arrived at noon on Saturday, they had discovered that their ladder was not long enough to reach the roof. So Zoro had remained up on the roof all weekend with people tossing food up to him through the windows; and he had remained up there until Monday evening, when he was suddenly discovered _off_ the roof again with no idea of how he had gotten off.)

Needless to say, by the time Zoro regained his composure, Nami and Luffy were completely out of sight. He shrugged and went on his way. Had anyone been there, they might have questioned why he was heading into the grove of trees, away from the school. Unfortunately for him, however, there were no casual observers to correct him.

"This is Luffy D. Monkey," Nami said as she entered the little hut that was the office with Luffy beside her. She had realized that she should not let him fall behind, because he was easily distracted and tended to walk away without a word if something elsewhere caught his attention. "He's a new student who had the misfortune to befriend Zoro Roronoa this morning-"

"I'll send his morning professors all emails about the situation. I'm sure they will be willing to forgive him." The blonde woman behind one of the two desks whom Nami was speaking to offered a small smile.

"I'd also like to take over the tutoring of Luffy D. Monkey and Zoro Roronoa."

"Done." The secretary hit return on the keyboard, and something began to print.

"Electives?"

"Not yet."

"Neither?"

"Neither."

"Home economics and music."

"For Mr. Monkey."

"Yes. Zoro Roronoa's academic status-"

"Here." The secretary held out the papers that she had just printed. Nami flipped through them, gaping.

"Geography?"

"The professor is inept."

"Don't _I_ know that. Chemistry grades?"

"Mr. Roronoa blew up the classroom in his first year."

"Government?"

"Never attended."

"Advanced classes?"

"We assume that he had no idea where he was."

"Makes sense. I assume that for architecture-"

"He was lost."

"And Luffy?"

"Mr. Monkey has fulfilled all, if not more than, necessary requirements for a junior."

"Previous school?"

"Home schooled."

"Special needs?"

"None."

"Physical education for both?"

"Nothing but fencing for Mr. Roronoa. Mr. Luffy is signed up for P.E. Shall I change that to dance?"

Nami hesitated, looking at Luffy. Would he prefer exercise or dancing? She came to the conclusion that he would enjoy dancing; besides, it would be easier for her to keep an eye on him that way. "P.E."

"For both."

"Yes. And see if you can-"

"All tutoring rooms are registered as being in use. I will register you one as soon as one opens. Meanwhile, I have sent Miss Koushirou an email; you may use the upper level of the library if you so wish. Here is a pass, just in case there are questions."

"Thanks, Miss Califa!" Nami chirped as she took the proffered paper (though she was sure that the tutoring excuse was not sufficient, and hence would not be doing her tutoring in so public a place) "And could you please-"

"You are aware that-"

"Roommates are usually of the same age. Yes. It doesn't matter."

"The dorm room arrangements are already made. Both Mr. Monkey and Mr. Roronoa are situated in the room across from Miss Pagaya." You could never get ahead of Califa; people had come to expect no less of her. With a smile, Nami moved to lead Luffy out of the office.

"Oh, and Miss Mikan," Califa called after her. Nami turned. "Be careful."

Nami smiled wryly; it was a little forced. "Of course." With that she turned and headed back down the road to the high school.

"Now," she told Luffy firmly, "you only have to go to math and government, but you're going to all the other teachers whose classes you missed this morning."

"But-"

"No buts. I know it's not your fault, but it never hurts to keep up a good first impression."

Luffy sulked. Nami was a tyrant.

* * *

Zoro was probably the only one who was at all surprised to find that the sun had already set by the time he finally got back to the high school sect of W.G. Institute. In fact, he was completely unaware that he had wandered past the college sect and through the orphanage sect, and even that he had been in Canada from precisely 3:04 to 3:31 PM. He might have even wandered right over the snow-covered mountains and into some Canadian city if the little girl (who was presently leading him by the hand) had not encountered him while she was running from a 'wolf,' which turned out to be merely a playful stray dog.

 

She, though having run quite far from the Orphanage Sect, knew the way back, and would have walked all the way, too, if she hadn't already been ready to drop with exhaustion. Despite the fact that Zoro had simply lifted her out of the dog's way and then set her down in an attempt to continue on his way to Lostville, Nowhere, he had made himself a hero in the girl's eyes, and she dragged him along with her when she turned to head back home. Having nowhere better to go, Zoro followed quietly; it was, after all, not on his list of things to do to make a little girl cry for nothing. As it turned out, she did not have that much energy left to walk, and when Zoro noticed this, he lifted her and put her on his back to carry her along. Unfortunately for him, however, the fact that he had known that she was tired before she had said a word (the fact that she had been staggering along was irrelevant to her youthful mind) convinced her that he was her knight in shining armor, and she proceeded to tell him all about her long five years of life. She was named Rika Marine, five years old, and younger sister of Coby Marine—a freshman in W. G. High School, apparently, which would make sense since Zoro could recall the name from someplace or another. Her mother had died giving birth to her… And Zoro lost track of what she was saying after that.

He tried to listen—honestly, he did—but she was just talking so fast and switching topic so rapidly that his mind simply could not keep up. Really, what was happening to children's minds these days?

Rika would break her speech every so often to tell him that he was going the wrong way again, most warnings of which he would miss. Finally, Rika scrambled off his back and led him back to W. G. Institute in a matter of no more than thirty minutes. By that point, Rika was aware that Zoro would probably wander right back into Canada (she prided herself on knowing precisely where that border lay, and so was well aware that they had been in Canada when she had found him) if she just let him go, so she led him back to the high school sect by the hand, determined not to let go until she had found a friend of his who could take care of him.

Nami seemed to have accustomed herself to the knowledge that she would be spending a lot of time with Luffy and Zoro, and as soon as she saw Zoro approaching with little Rika in the distance, only snapped at Zoro about his wet clothes in such cold weather (it was January, and snowing), and how he really ought to wear thicker coats and learn how to find his way around the place where he had lived for over four years. Just when Zoro was feeling fed up enough to snap at her despite the explosive debt that would no doubt compound if he did, she turned her attention to Rika.

"Thanks for bringing him back," she said, crouching to the girl's height and smiling at her. "Heaven only knows where he'd be right now if you hadn't found him."

"It's okay," the girl giggled, revealing a wide mouth that was missing two front teeth. "And he saved me from a wolf!"

"Really?" asked Nami, eyes sparkling with interest.

"It was a stray dog," Zoro grumbled before Rika could reply.

"Zoro, why don't you go sit with Luffy while I take Rika back to the orphanage sect?" Nami suggested, her tone kind so as not to alarm Rika, but her eyes glinting with a threat.

"Fine, fine," Zoro muttered, almost to himself, as he turned and began to stomp along the road—back the way that he had come.

"No, no, no," Nami called, quickly running after him and steering him around in the right direction. " _This_ way, Zoro." Then she turned to Rika. "Sorry—I'll have to get him someplace where he can sit and wait before I take you back. Otherwise he'll probably find himself in California by the time I get back."

"But California's on the other side of the country," Rika said, puzzled.

"Exactly," Nami nodded, steering Zoro back towards her special clump of bushes.

"You expect me to sit around waiting in the snow?" Zoro asked, disbelieving.

"Well, I can't afford to let anyone see that I'm willingly associating with people like you and Luffy, can I?"

"So I'm supposed to freeze to death and solve that problem for you?"

Nami stopped and glared at the back of Zoro's head. Zoro did not turn around, but the way that he stiffened indicated that he could feel her glare on the back of his head.

"Normally," Nami said slowly and menacingly as she started to steer him along again, "I'd just find an empty, unlocked classroom to tutor you and Luffy. Today, however, we had to wait outside to see if you'd come back—you get hopelessly lost in the school, after all and probably never would have found us once you got back—so _we_ were freezing to death while we waited outside. Luffy, however, had the idea that since it started snowing and the snow was already pretty deep, he could make a snowman. He made a colony of snowmen—you can see them tomorrow, since they're right in front of the boy's dormitories—and then decided that since we were cold and it was too cold for the snow to melt very much, he could make us a place to stay out of snow."

Zoro remained silent for a moment while Nami looked at him meaningfully. Then, as the clump of bushes came into view, the mound of snow that rose inside the ring of bushes brought home what Nami meant.

"An igloo," stated Zoro. "You expect me to do schoolwork in an igloo."

"If you can think of a better way to not be seen, not get wet, and not get in trouble at this late hour, I'd be glad to hear it." Nami's voice was laced with false cheerfulness. Zoro gulped. "I thought you'd see it that way," Nami said, patting Zoro on the head. Zoro growled, but had the sense not to snap at her.

He did, however, tell her precisely what he thought of her when she shoved him mercilessly into a hole between bushes and on the side of the hill of snow. It was short, blunt, scathing, and probably not the best thing to say to a person like Nami.

"You've been out all day, so I'll let that one slide," Nami said calmly. "But from now on, it's ten dollars for every insult and a dollar for every word in the sentence."

And then she was gone, talking sweetly with Rika as she led her by the hand. Zoro crossed his legs to make his position more comfortable as he sat on the floor and crossed his arms with a 'humph.'

"Why're you so grumpy?" asked a cheerful, familiar voice that made Zoro jump. He spun around in the direction from which the voice had come.

Ah. Luffy. Yes, Nami had said something about taking him to where Luffy was, hadn't she?

"Nami. Debts. Threats."

"She's really nice once you get to know her, you know," Luffy told him. Then he paused. "And when you don't owe her any money."

"Sorry, I don't fall in that category."

"I know, I just realized that. So, can you help me with my physics homework? Nami was explaining, but I couldn't understand a word she was saying."

"Women are like that. Only Nami isn't a woman. She's the Devil, more like, and that's even worse. What's the problem?"

"'A car with a weight of 500N has a constant velocity of 60 km/h north and a truck with a weight of 1000N has a constant velocity of 40 km/h south. The two vehicles have a head-on collision. What is their velocity after the collision?'"

Luffy looked up at Zoro expectantly.

"That's a trick question," said Zoro.

"What? Why?"

"How much of that question do you get?"

"Nothing. I don't understand the K M slash H, and I don't get that word 'velocity', and those Ns don't make any sense…"

"See, Velo City is the place where the cars are. N stands for Nescafe, and K M slash H stands for Keep Moving or Halt."

"Wow, that makes sense! It makes much more sense than what Nami was saying! Whatever that was. So 500N means that it weighs as much as 500 cans of Nescafe coffee, right?"

"Right."

"And so what do you do with the Keep Moving or Halt thing?"

"There's a 60 percent chance that the car'll keep moving, and a 40 percent chance that the truck'll keep moving."

"So what do you do with this?"

"See, it asks you what their Velo City is. It's just trying to confuse you with all the numbers—no matter what the numbers are, in the end, Velo City is just Velo City, right?"

"Oh yeah! So all these questions are just trying to trick me into doing all sorts of things with the numbers—actually, the answer to all of them is Velo City!"

Zoro peered over Luffy's shoulder at the work sheet. Indeed, every question asked, "What is the velocity of…".

"Geez, what a waste of paper. They could at least have some variation."

"I know!" Luffy agreed as he set about writing 'Velo City' in the answer line of every question.

Fortunately for them, Nami was quick to return—before Luffy had finished filling out the answers on the worksheet.

"What?" she exclaimed upon seeing that Luffy was already near the end of the worksheet. "You're already that far?"

"Yep! Zoro helped me."

Nami just _knew_ that something had to have gone wrong there.

"That can't be good. Let me see." She snatched away the paper, ignoring Luffy and Zoro's shouts of protest, and looked down at the answers.

And she stared.

"Velo City? How do you get that?"

"Well, see, Zoro explained that Velo City is actually the place where they are, and they give all those Nescafes and Keep-Moving-or-Halts and numbers just to confuse you, because in the end Velo City is still Velo-"

"No no no no no no!" Nami despaired. "That's not the way it works at all! See, velocity is the speed and direction. K M slash H stands for kilometers per hour, which is how fast the car is moving. How many kilometers it can go in an hour. And N stands for Newton, which is a measure of force."

"…Newton? That's supposed to measure weight?"

"Yes. It's the mass multiplied by the force of gravity."

Zoro and Luffy stared at her, uncomprehending. Then Zoro turned to Luffy.

"Just say Velo City. She's not making any sense."

"Sense?" Luffy snorted. "I can't even understand how much she's trying to say the cars weigh!"

And that was how Luffy and Zoro ended up in the common room of the girl's dormitory twenty minutes later with badly aching heads. Nami was grumbling about her aching knuckles, but neither was very sympathetic with her, much to her chagrin. In their opinion, if she didn't want aching knuckles, she shouldn't have spent those ten minutes simultaneously bruising her knuckles and their heads.

"I thought you were worried that someone would see you with us," Zoro said in a grumble that was more of a growl.

"Oh, if anyone comes by, I'll just ask you to explain one of those force and velocity questions to me. If that doesn't send them off screaming, my suggestion that they take over your tutoring because I'm at wit's end with both of you definitely will."

Luffy and Zoro exchanged a tired glance.

"Don't you look at each other that way!" Nami snapped, and automatically their backs shot straight as they looked at her. "I'm doing this for you, not me. I hope you realize that if I weren't trying to help you pass, you two would probably end up spending the rest of your lives in W. G. High School!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Two more dollars for sarcasm."

"Witch!"

"And that just made it ten more."

"Zoro!" Luffy laughed. "It's almost like you _want_ to owe her all that money!"

"It's not like I care very much anymore," Zoro snorted. "I'm never going to be able to pay that much back anyway. Come on, it's already more than five hundred times what I _really_ owe her!"

"So you don't admit that you owe me what you agreed to?" Nami's voice was low and dangerous.

"I never agreed to anything!" snapped Zoro.

"You agreed to pay me back 'with interest.'"

"This isn't interest! This is just adding on random amounts whenever you feel like it!"

"Keep telling yourself that," Nami chirped. Zoro gulped. He knew that look—she was going to let his debt inflate to a ridiculous amount, and then…well, he wasn't too sure what she would do, but knowing her, she'd probably take it to court, suing him twice as much for not paying her back. He shuddered at the thought.

"Thank you. Now, does either of you know what 'projectile motion' means?"

Luffy and Zoro exchanged a glance.

"A kind of motion?" Luffy suggested.

"What he said," Zoro agreed.

Nami took a deep breath to calm herself, and then set about explaining the concept—a definite waste of time, she was sure. But she tried anyway.

And, lo and behold, when she asked them to repeat what she had said after she had recited the definition, Luffy remembered nothing and Zoro was fast asleep.

* * *

"Now," said Nami briskly as she marched into the boys' dorm room at (in Luffy and Zoro's opinion) an obscene hour of the morning. "I've got everything set, so you two listen to me."

 

They pulled the covers up over their heads in their respective beds, and Luffy added the touch of burying his head under his pillow.

"Up!" Nami snapped.

Luffy and Zoro leapt out of bed as though an alarm had just gone off.

"Look," Nami said, her voice dangerously low. "I got you two this room together to make it easier for me. This means that I also expect _you_ to make it easier for me by waking up when I come in. Got that?"

"You're insane, woman," grumbled Zoro. "It's not even six o'clock in the morning!"

"Could you come back in an hour?" agreed a groggy Luffy.

"No!" Nami snapped. " _I_ got up at _five_ just so that I could make sure that I got you two set on your way so that we don't have another repeat of yesterday. Right. Now, Luffy, I've got permission to take you from class to class this first week. Zoro, I got your records from the office yesterday, so I can tell you which classes you've got to take to graduate."

Luffy and Zoro just stared at her with bleary eyes.

"Wake up!" Nami ordered, slapping each across the face for good measure. When it appeared that they were both awake and staring at her in terrified horror, she nodded in satisfaction. "Very good. Now, sit down." Luffy and Zoro hastened to do so. "Luffy, today you have physics, math, government, P.E., and history before lunch. After lunch are the electives, so I took the liberty of signing you up for home economics and music. I also took the liberty of signing you up for P.E. rather than dance, because this way I can keep an eye on you.

"Zoro, I come to you with the news that even if you dedicated yourself to intensive study, you would never be able to graduate this year. Miraculously, you've managed to clear biology, English 1 and 4, history 1 and 2, math 1 and 2, and, though by just half a point, chemistry. You've also passed the two-year geography course—twice, actually. You've taken large parts of, but have not passed, physics, art, music, architecture, English 2, history 4, and advanced math and chemistry, for which I can only assume you had no idea you were in the College of Maths and Sciences. And, obviously, since you've been on the fencing team for all the years you've been here and you always show up for _that_ , you only need one elective per year. Unfortunately, this means actually _passing_ the elective. You haven't been taking dance or P.E., and your fencing coach has been giving you extra training and counting that instead, but that's not going to be good enough if you ever want to get into college here.

"So, Zoro, you need to take physics, English 2 and 3, history 3 and 4, math 3 and 4, and the two-year government course in addition to an exercise class and an elective. I've just signed you up for P.E. and home economics, so that Luffy and I can keep an eye on you. Now, if you work at a normal person's speed, this ought to take you two years. If you go at the speed you've been going, it'll take another four years. But you and Luffy are going to graduate next year; understand?"

Luffy and Zoro nodded frantically, both hoping that she hadn't noticed that they had been falling asleep while she rattled on about whatever she was talking about.

Nami smiled. "Very good. Now get up, get dressed, and off we go!"

Nami stared at Luffy and Zoro. Luffy and Zoro stared back at Nami. "Come on, get moving!"

"Uh…Nami?" Luffy addressed her tentatively. "Do you mean we're supposed to change right in front of you?"

"Is there any other way that I'm supposed to guarantee that you two won't just roll back into bed and go to sleep as soon as I leave the room?"

Luffy and Zoro exchanged a look. Nami did not miss this.

"And don't even _think_ of trying to lock, barricade, or jam your door tomorrow, because if you do, I'll break your window and get in anyway."

"But…we're on the third floor," Zoro protested weakly. Nami looked straight at him.

"Yes. And what's right outside your window?"

They looked. And saw another window barely a foot away.

"Exactly. Girl's dorms. That particular room happens to belong to a sophomore named Conis Pagaya, whom I happen to know well enough to ask her to let me make use of her window. So don't even consider it. Now get dressed! Or do I need to do it for you?"

So it was that Nami watched, tapping her foot impatiently, as she watched Luffy and Zoro scramble to get themselves ready. She noted that neither even mentioned taking a shower, though she knew that neither had taken one the night before. She made a mental note to make sure that they both got showers that night.

"Excellent," said Nami when Luffy was buttoning up his shirt and Zoro pulling his over his head. "Now off we go!"

She dragged the two boys out as they hastily attempted to get themselves fully clothed before being shoved out into the hallway. Once they were out, Nami grabbed their book bags, checked to make sure that all the textbooks were in there (and clucked her tongue when she saw that Zoro's was a random jumble of books for all four grade levels) before removing all unnecessary items and tossing the bags at their respective owners.

"Right. First stop, the library."

"What? Why?"

"To get textbooks."

"But I just got mine yesterday!"

"You don't have your supplies for home ec. And Zoro doesn't have half the books _or_ supplies he'll need."

Zoro was about to retort that he would do just fine on his own, thank you very much, when Nami grabbed him and Luffy by the ears and started down the hallway. Their screams led to open doors and staring boys—both college and high school—as she proceeded to drag them down the stairs.

"Don't mind us," Nami called cheerfully over her shoulder at the gaping boys who were peering in horrified awe out their partly open doors. "Unless, of course, _you_ would rather be in charge of the education of these two retards." Suddenly, there were a lot less faces peering out into the hallway and a lot more closed doors. Nami seemed perfectly happy with herself and remained oblivious to Zoro and Luffy's exchanged look of horror as she dragged them down another hallway and out the door.

Or rather she would have dragged them out the door if she hadn't stopped short at the door.

"Oh my God," Luffy and Zoro heard her hiss. "I can't believe this is happening _now_."

Luffy and Zoro managed to maneuver themselves so that they could look over her shoulders out the door…and saw a large grizzly bear ambling casually across the lawn in front of the boy's dorms.

" _This_ ," Nami snapped, turning to look at Luffy and Zoro as if it were their fault, "is what happens when you stick a school and a wildlife preserve inside the same walls. With bears that don't hibernate. I have no idea why, but at least one of the bears here is awake in the winter every year. Why isn't that damned bear _hibernating?_ "

"Oh, so that forest's supposed to be a wildlife preserve?"

Nami turned to stare at Luffy. "What did you think it was? Hell, why'd you think they keep this place enclosed by walls? It's so that those bears don't escape and start terrorizing Fuchsia Village! Of course, the wall's entirely irrelevant if the bears terrorize _us_ … They don't even excuse us for being an hour late to classes when we have to sit in here waiting for the bears to go away to avoid being attacked! And then there was that one time when a cub broke a window and got into the lower level of the College of Humanities, and terrorized the English students before the teacher got there. Who was blamed? Not the idiots who decided to set up the school this way; no way! They blamed the _students_ for failing to cope!"

"So _that's_ why Makino never let me go through the forest to go to the library," Luffy mused. "Yeah, now you mention it, I think she did say something about bears and it being dangerous… Always said to go the long way around to get to the library…"

Nami turned to look at Luffy—stare, rather. After assessing him for a moment, she spoke perfectly calmly. "You don't come from outside—you come from W. G. Orphanage, don't you?"

Luffy shrugged. "Sort of."

Nami opened her mouth to ask what the hell 'sort of' was supposed to mean in response to such a simple yes or no question, when she saw the bear lazily ambling away. "Now's our chance! Quick!"

They darted out the door and ran down the path. Nami was silently thanking the fates that the boy's dormitories were closest the library as they stumbled into the library door and closed it tightly.

"Well," said a dry voice behind them, "I don't usually get this many enthusiastic visitors at this hour of the morning."

They looked around at Kuina. "Bear," Nami panted.

Kuina clucked her tongue. "I _knew_ there was a bear in that forest that was refusing to hibernate. And the teachers called us liars when we said we got late because of a bear in the winter."

"I know!" said Nami, throwing her hands up. "It's crazy! You'd think the bear was out to get us—or maybe the teachers. Because those footprints have _got_ to be perfectly visible in the snow, and that bear is _supposed_ to be hibernating!"

"They probably think it's a trick," Kuina shrugged. "No teachers but the ones who were once students here know the real horror of that evil bear that stays awake every winter."

"Right," Zoro broke in. "Can you two bond and girl talk later?"

Nami turned on Zoro with a glare while Kuina regarded him in amusement. Kuina beat Nami to addressing Zoro. "If that's what you define as girl talk, Zoro, then I would dearly love to know what you define as _not_ girl talk."

"Anything that's got nothing to do with serious problems, probably," said Nam wryly. "Anyhow, Kuina, I've taken charge of Luffy and Zoro's education after hearing that they missed all their morning classes, since they were too busy being lost yesterday."

"Did they?" asked Kuina, eyes sparkling with interest.

"Yes," Nami replied. "From what I heard, they not only managed to get themselves stuck in a closet, they also managed to get up onto the roof with no idea how they'd got there."

"Again?"

"Yes, and then when Luffy and I took our eyes off Zoro for a little while, he was gone. Hours later a girl named Rika from the orphanage sect came leading him back. Guess where he'd been?"

"Canada?"

"Right in one."

"Makes you wonder how they'd get through high school without help, doesn't it?"

"Oh yeah. Did you know that Zoro's only completed about two years' worth of work in the four years and one term that he's been studying here?"

"My, my. I think he's set some sort of national record."

"For sane people with perfectly functional brains? Yeah, probably."

"Although you have to wonder about the 'perfectly functional brain' part with Zoro. Did you know that three months ago he was found wrestling a bear?" Nami could only stare. "You wouldn't believe the kinds of injuries he sustained. When asked what happened, his reply was that the bear had been 'in his way.'"

Nami turned to look at Zoro, who was busily discussing with Luffy the assets of wrestling bears. Luffy obviously shared Zoro's opinion on the subject and for the first time, Nami had to wonder if she'd taken on more than she could handle.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, Nami was already ready to sneak back to her dorms, crawl under the covers, fall asleep, and not wake up for another week or so.

 

She had had to rush out of class as soon as the bell rang to get to Zoro and Luffy before they could forget about her coming to get them and leave on their own. That was quite a challenge to her, since she was taking college level courses in math, geography, biology, physics, and chemistry, and this meant that for each of the three classes that she had that day, she had to dart out of the College of Maths and Sciences—the furthest building from the high school if one didn't count the College Sports Center and College of Social Sciences—and down Rogue Road to the High School. All three times that she had had to do this, she had cursed whatever architect had designed the High School: why the _hell_ were the only two entrances located as far from Rogue Road as they could be?

Following her sprint into the building, she had had to run up the stairs and down long hallways to their classroom; generally only to find that they had walked off without her. So she would have to run left and right in search for them, panicking at the thought that she should fail to find them (which, thank God, never actually happened), and then proceed to drag them to their next class. They had made it to every class only barely on time; she, on the other hand, having to run out of the building, down the obnoxious and would-have-been-unnecessary-if-the-high-school-entrance-were-more-accessable dirt road to Rogue Road, and all the way back to the College of Maths and Sciences, had been late to everything all day.

Then, upon reaching P.E., she had been confronted by an infuriated Zoro who wanted to know why the hell she had signed him up for P.E. rather than dance, and a very confused Luffy who wanted to know why, if this was supposed to be P.E., Mr. Clay (who preferred to be called by his full name, Bon Clay) was teaching them ballet. Then, throughout the lesson, she had had to hiss to them errors in their positions that they had to correct while Luffy delighted (loudly) in the fun he was having and Zoro complained (loudly) about how much he did not want to be there.

So by the time lunch break came around, she decided that she definitely deserved a break. After dragging Luffy and Zoro along behind her to Restaurant Baratie, she ordered them to eat there and leave only if they had a death wish, and left to her usual clump of bushes, where she intended to eat in peace.

Nami opened her lunch box with a tired sigh and grinned in delight. Nojiko had included a slice of one of her specialty tangerine pies. Nojiko didn't often make them, since it took so much effort, but when she did, Nami delighted in them as though she had never eaten before.

Not that Restaurant Baratie didn't have good food. Luffy and Zoro were her frie- no, they weren't her friends, but she was in charge of their wellbeing, and wasn't about to leave them to eat nasty food. Restaurant Baratie, in fact, probably had the best food for miles around…which wasn't saying much, she supposed, since there actually wasn't any civilization apart from W. G. Institute and Fuchsia for miles around. But the food at Restaurant Baratie was wonderful. Located on campus, right in front of the high school, students of W. G. High School and W. G. College were allowed to eat there for free; some of the residents of Fuchsia did, however, come for special meals once in a while. It was a good place, just crowded. And some of the chefs had attitudes…

Nami suddenly froze, her second bite of Nojiko's tangerine pie half way to her mouth. Luffy and Zoro definitely had attitudes, and attitudes on attitudes was not a very good combination…

Gulping, Nami brought the piece of pie into her suddenly dry mouth and forced herself to chew. It was bound to be all right. They could handle themselves. She _deserved_ some alone time after a morning like that.

But, of course, the world had never cared about what people deserved. _Belle-Mere never deserved to die; she died anyway. I work hard everyday. I don't deserve to-_

"Nami!"

Nami froze. She knew that voice, and ducked down in the bushes, desperately hoping that the owner of the voice would not see her. She looked to her side at the mound of snow—the igloo from the previous night. She crawled slowly and carefully inside, where she sat quietly, listening to her name being called overhead.

"Nami! Don't you want to hear what your 'charges' are doing right now?"

Yes, she did. But not at the cost of revealing the place where she hid everyday.

"You know that if their argument with one of the chefs escalates into something physical—and it looked on the verge of that when I left—it'll be on your reputation, right?"

Nami tensed, debating with herself. Finally, she heaved a sigh and crawled out.

"Nami!"

"Yes, Kuro-Obi," she replied in a toneless voice. "I hear you. I was just on a walk—just about to go back."

Kuro-Obi grinned. "Were you? Or were you trying to run away from responsibility?"

Nami glared up at him and crossed her arms. "Were you threatening me?"

Kuro-Obi's eyes widened in what Nami knew was false innocence. "Me? Threaten you? You know perfectly well that if anyone tarnishes their academic record, they're disqualified from extracurricular activities."

"How many times have you reminded me?" sighed Nami, rolling her eyes. "I know—and I'm sure that you know too, somewhere deep down—that Coach Arlong's not playing fair. And it's because I'm a woman, isn't it?"

Kuro-Obi scoffed. "Woman? Girl, more like. But you know how vulnerable females are. If we're going to have a girl with us, she's got to be the best—the _very_ best in-"

"I know, I know, I don't need to hear it again. I've been hearing it for four years."

"Ooh, cheeking me, are you?"

"No, just losing my patience. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go salvage that 'reputation' that you're so _concerned_ about."

Nami turned on her heel and walked confidently through the trees to the back door of the high school. Entering, she walked across the hallway to the only other entrance. Usually, when walking here, she would wonder if it was actually legal to have only two entrances to a building, and in basically the same location—what with fire safety and all that. But today, as soon as she was in the door and definitely out of sight of Kuro-Obi, she began to run.

She ran out the other entrance and down the dirt road to where it intersected with Rogue Road; Restaurant Baratie was located right where they intersected. Panting for breath, she entered and looked around. About half the people were staring at her abrupt entrance. The other half— _good god_ —were watching a certain green-haired man argue with a certain blond-haired man while a black-haired boy sat beside them, laughing. Zoro had grabbed the chef by the collar and was snapping something at him, obviously very angry. The chef wasn't looking much happier as he shoved Zoro away and proceeded to kick him very hard in the shins.

Just when it looked like it actually _would_ get physical (even more so than it already was, anyway), Nami stepped in. "Right, boys, break it up!"

Zoro froze, probably in response to the anger in her voice that promised him much more debt. The chef, on the other hand, reacted to a feminine presence, and instantly began to swoon.

"Yes, that's very nice, Sanji-kun," Nami interrupted, "but would you care to tell me what made you think that it was a good idea to leap at Zoro, whom, as you've probably heard, is currently my academic charge?"

"But, Nami-san," Sanji protested, "he was calling you a…a… I couldn't even repeat it!"

Nami gave Zoro a thoughtful look, then Sanji. A smirk spread across her face. Well then, this wasn't a difficult situation to remedy.

"You two," she addressed Zoro and Luffy. "Stay here. I'll deal with you later." That said, and a glare sent their way for good measure, Nami dragged Sanji aside and, smiling sweetly, named her request. Sanji agreed with a swoon, and Nami thanked him with another deceptively sweet smile and a kiss on the cheek before she turned and strode back to Luffy and Zoro.

"What'd you tell him?" asked Luffy curiously as Zoro eyed the redhead suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing you'd care to know," Nami replied lightly. "Now, tell me—why aren't you two eating?"

The glint in her eye had the two of them immediately attacking their food as though their lives depended on it.


	4. Usopp S. King

Usopp S. King sighed as he looked absentmindedly across the home economics classroom. They were supposed to be stitching cushions and cushion covers with their partners, but his partner, Kaya Syrup, was absent yet again. He had always known that these things happened—he didn't regret partnering with Kaya, especially since no one else would because she was absent so often—but he still felt lonely on days when he was left to complete a project alone. He usually set his thoughts on making something that Kaya could see and be proud of later.

Today, however, he wasn't in the mood. Kaya hadn't been to school in four days; he had been so busy with schoolwork that he had barely had time to visit Carrot, Onion and Pepper at the orphanage these past few days. His visits to the Baratie had been far briefer than usual. He had been simply leaving the homework in Kaya's mailbox on his way to and from school everyday. While he felt guilty for neglecting to see her, he knew that it was even more difficult to sneak up to the window of Kaya's room when she was sick, because there was usually someone with her. Many times, even if there was no one with her, she was asleep or too sick to talk or even listen.

So it was that he was absentmindedly cutting out his pieces of fabric for the cover to match the size of the completed cushion as he watched the trio on the other side of the room.

"Luffy!" Nami Mikan was shouting indignantly. "I cannot _believe_ you! What part of this looks like a straight line?" She held up a piece of fabric that had been cut in every way but straight.

"I tried, Nami, I really tried!" Luffy D. Monkey, the new kid, insisted. "It's just that the scissors didn't want to go straight, and the cloth didn't want to stay still, and it was really hard to-"

"You, Luffy, are in charge of both the scissors _and_ the fabric! I don't care _what_ they want, because you're going to get it right! And Zoro! You call that stitching?"

"You said to put the needle in like this, then pull it out like that, then-" Zoro Roronoa, who had definitely been Nami Mikan's arch-nemesis just a week ago, insisted sincerely, cut off only when she began to scold him as though he were her ignorant younger brother.

"I said to keep the stitches _uniform._ That means to keep them the _same_ size. This looks like you were trying to see just how big a stitch you could make with no care to what it'd look like afterwards!"

Usopp tilted his head to look at the item that Nami was holding. Instantly, he found himself choking back a laugh. It looked like a bunch of loops of fabric, and he knew at once that Nami's description of what Zoro had tried to do could not have been more accurate.

"But see, you were babbling on and on about me and Luffy-"

"Luffy and me."

"Who cares? About the two of us wasting cloth and string—so I figured if I did it this way-"

"You just ended up wasting more string, because we're going to have to cut this off!"

"Hey, Zoro, look at what Nami managed to do!" Luffy held up a perfectly cut, perfectly stitched cushion cover, which Nami promptly snatched away.

"No way am I letting you ruin this, too. And what's the point in having a cushion cover when the cushion isn't even started? Get to work!"

As Zoro and Luffy obediently bent together over the cloth to try the cutting part again, Usopp grinned to himself.

When the term had begun a week ago, everything had seemed unchanged. Zoro Roronoa didn't appear anywhere he was supposed to be, Nami Mikan was off on a money-collecting rampage, Smoker was shoving people into lockers, Mr. Beckman was talking in a language that people like Hina, Moody, and Eric called 'genius' and Usopp called 'gibberish,' Mr. Krieg was biased as ever, Mr. Morgan terrorized them all to within an inch of their lives, Miss Nico gave them the hardest work they had ever known, and Wiper Shandora and his sister and friends were walking up and down hallways as if they owned the place.

The second day, Nami had been, apparently on some sudden whim, overseeing the educations of Zoro Roronoa and Luffy D. Monkey (who was new and had not appeared for classes the previous day because he had had the misfortune to meet, befriend, and follow Zoro Roronoa, who never had the slightest idea where he was). Zoro was suddenly in all of Usopp's classes, Mr. Morgan was suddenly not so terrorizing, Mr. Krieg was suddenly not so biased, and Mr. Beckman was suddenly nice and friendly and greeting the new kid like some long lost relative with a big hug and a grin. On the bright side, Smoker was still shoving people into lockers, the Shandoras and their friends still acted like they owned the place, and Miss Nico's lessons were still as tough as ever.

What had been weirdest, Usopp had found, were his home economics classes. He had been watching the first day, when Nami and Zoro had been at each other's throats while Luffy seemed to keep them at bay with a smile, and neither seemed brave enough to defy Luffy, as though he had some sort of hold over them; as though they were almost frightened of him, somehow.

But as Usopp had watched, that had changed visibly, day by day. Now, he had a feeling that they could pass for brothers and sister. He hadn't heard Nami mention Zoro's debt in four days; he hadn't heard Zoro insult Nami in three; Luffy was no longer set apart from the other two in any way. Nami thwacked Luffy and Zoro over the head on an equally regular basis; Zoro thwacked Luffy over the head as often as he glared at Nami; Luffy stuck his tongue out and glared at the two of them just as regularly. There had even been one instance the day before when Zoro had thwacked Luffy, Luffy had wheeled around and thwacked right back, and soon they had been involved a mild play-fight with Nami laughing—Nami Mikan, actually _laughing_ —beside them.

As Usopp had watched them out of the corner of his eye, a deep longing had begun to grow in him. What wouldn't he give to have friends like that? Sure, he had Kaya. But he liked Kaya as…well, as a girl, not as 'just a friend.' Other friends he had were few and far between, and rarely had time to spend with him anyway. The fact that none of them attended W. G. High School probably had a lot to do with that. What he wouldn't give to walk right over to them and ask to be included in their group…

Then again, he thought as he looked down at his work, why shouldn't he? The worst thing they could say was 'no'…right?

Usopp attacked his project with renewed vigor, planning his approach. He just had until the bell rang, and then it was then or never…

As soon as the bell rang, Usopp stuffed everything hastily into his book bag and approached the laughing trio.

"So…" At Usopp's voice, three heads snapped up to stare at him. Luffy was staring at him curiously; Zoro was glaring warningly; Nami's eyes were narrowed suspiciously. "Um…I was wondering—could I join you, wherever you're going?"

The three of them stared, exchanged a look, and then stared at him again as if he had lost his mind.

"Who are you?" Luffy asked at the same moment as Zoro demanded, "Where do you want to go? Nami's tutoring sessions of horror?" and Nami said, "I hope Coach Arlong didn't sent you here, because if he did, you can be sure I'm going to sue you."

"I'm the king of the world, and I'm here to demand that you join me."

That probably wasn't the best thing to say. Nami rolled her eyes, Zoro looked at him with a look that Usopp could only describe as condescending, and Luffy seemed to think that he'd grown another head.

"Nami," Luffy finally broke the silence, "Remember yesterday when you were teaching us government?"

"Yes, Luffy?" Nami sounded rather tired.

"You said that there wasn't anyone who ruled the world. You lied."

"No, Luffy, _he's_ lying. There _is_ no king of the world. Let's go."

"I- I mean…" Usopp hastened to correct himself. "I'm Usopp, and I'd like to go with you wherever you're headed."

"Zoro and I have sports teams we've got to practice for. Luffy'll be sitting around watching. I'm sure that you've got better things to do that sit around watching Zoro with Luffy while you wait to be tutored." Nami's voice was dry, and held just a hint of sarcasm, and she turned to go.

"I just want to join your group!" Usopp cursed himself silently as soon as he said it, but it was the truth, and he figured that it was better to be straightforward in matters such as these rather than beating around the bush. But Nami didn't seem to be listening, and Luffy and Zoro were staring at him as though he had grown another head. "I mean…I want to be friends with you guys."

Nami spun around, and the glint in her eyes was far sharper than any Usopp had ever seen. He unconsciously took a step backwards.

"I am _not_ friends with them," Nami snapped. Then she took a deep breath to calm herself. "They're my charges—I make sure they don't get lost on the way to classes, and tutor them every evening. If you want to join the two of them in my tutoring sessions, be my guest, but I was under the impression that you didn't _need_ anyone to explain to you that the term 'onomatopoeia' has got nothing to do with the Olympic games. If you do, you're still welcome to come, but I'd sincerely appreciate it if you found someone else, because I've got my hands full with these two already."

Usopp stared blankly. Onomatopoeia? What did that have to do with…? What in the world was she…? But it didn't matter, because Nami was already turning her back and marching Luffy and Zoro out of the classroom.

Usopp stared after them and sighed. "Oh well…" He had been _sure_ that they were friends—best friends—but if they said they weren't… No, scratch that. Usopp _knew_ that they were friends. But if they couldn't see that (or were pretending that they couldn't see that), what was the use in insisting that they were?

As he left the room, Usopp thought of Kaya. Four days was a long time to be alone with no company. He would go see how she was doing. Maybe if he managed to climb over the wall that surrounded W. G. Institute more quietly, Mr. Krahadore wouldn't catch him dropping off the wall and onto the private property that was supposed to be Kaya's this time.

With that dubiously uplifting thought, Usopp turned and began to make his way for the high school exit.

"Who was that guy?" Luffy asked curiously, watching Usopp disappear into the crowd as he, Zoro and Nami walked down the hallway.

"Usopp S. King, more commonly known as the Liar," Nami informed him without missing a beat. "I'm surprised you don't know him—he ought to be in all your classes."

"Yeah, I think I've seen him around a couple times… Maybe…" Zoro did not sound so sure, and Nami made a mental note to check both his and Luffy's notebooks to see exactly _what_ they were doing during classes.

"Right," said Nami briskly as they crossed the dirt road outside the entrance and entered the large building there: the High School Sports Center. "Zoro, I think we can be sure you're not going to get lost on your way to fencing practice. Luffy, are you going to go watch Zoro's practice again?"

"I watched Zoro's practice everyday last week," Luffy pointed out. "Can I watch your swimming practice today?"

Nami froze, quickly racking her mind for a reason to say no. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, and she was forced to give a stiff nod. Swiftly walking off up the stairs with Luffy at her heels, she continued to rack her brain. Luffy _couldn't_ watch her practice. He was more observant than he let on; that much she had noticed, and that told her that letting Luffy watch her practice would be suicidal. She would be extremely lucky if he didn't notice the way her coach and teammates treated her. And then, of course, she would face Coach Arlong's wrath and get kicked off the swim team.

"Luffy," Nami said suddenly. "Don't you play any sports?"

Luffy shook his head. "I can't swim, and I've got no idea what to do with those swords."

"But there're other sports!" Nami pressed. "Like archery, and gymnastics, and football, and soccer…"

"How about baseball?"

Nami's heart dropped into her stomach. "Well… There's a college team…you could see if they'll let you in…"

"But why isn't there a high school team? I thought all the games were done with the college team against the high school team?"

"Well, yeah. But no one's managed to make one in years, so…"

"How do you make a team?"

"Usually, you just need to gather up enough members. But in this case, you don't have any coach, so-" Nami broke off when she realized that Luffy was no longer standing beside her. "Luffy?"

"See you later, Nami!" came an echoing reply from down the staircase.

Nami blinked, then rubbed her temple and sighed. At least Luffy had forgotten about watching her swimming practice. She could deal with this new issue later.

* * *

"Hey! Coby! Helmeppo!"

The two boys looked up in surprise from their table in the library. Seeing Luffy surprised them even further—he was actually still _alive_ , even though he'd spent all of his week at W. G. High in the company of Zoro Roronoa and Nami Mikan? Amazing. Obviously, the new kid wasn't anyone to be trifled with.

"Do you guys play baseball?" Luffy asked upon reaching them.

"Do we?" Helmeppo grinned. "We play one-on-one baseball on the sports grounds every chance we get!"

"Not that we can at this particular time of year, what with the snow," Coby added.

"I'm starting a baseball team," Luffy announced. Coby and Helmeppo suddenly froze, staring at him as though he were out of his mind.

"Um…Luffy…" Coby was rather hesitant. "Did you know that if you start a baseball team, it'll become official?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So then we'd have to play the college baseball team!"

"Yeah. So?"

"What do you mean, 'so'?" demanded Helmeppo. "You've been here a whole week—haven't your heard of Teach Marshall?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Do you have any idea what he's like?"

Luffy scowled. "Oh yeah. He's mean. I don't like him."

"No one does," Coby assured Luffy. "Well, no one but his friends, anyway. But the thing is, there've been plenty of efforts to create a high school baseball team in the past few years; but it's always failed, because Teach Marshall invalidates the team if they can't beat the college team within a few months. He goes to the authorities and says something about them not being 'challenging' enough or of breaking the rules, and next thing you know, poof! No more high school baseball team."

Luffy hummed thoughtfully. "So, basically, we've just got to beat them in a few months after forming our team."

Coby nodded vigorously, hoping with all his heart that that was reluctance and _not_ excitement for a challenge that he saw shining in Luffy's eyes.

Unfortunately, Coby's hope was in vain.

"Let's try."

" _Try?_ Are you _mad?_ That'll be a total waste of time!"

"You don't know that till you've tried. So I'll count you two in, then. See you!" That said, Luffy skipped out of the library, leaving a gaping Coby and Helmeppo in his wake. Once outside, he dug into his pocket for one of his old shopping lists—and mumbled an annoyed when he found that they were gone. Probably Nami again.

He pulled out his math notebook and on the last page, scribbled 'Coby Marine' and 'Helmeppo Morgan.' With a satisfied nod, he was on his way.

It did not take long before he had introduced himself to and named his proposal to a number of 'nice-looking' people. If they did not know how to play baseball, they were out. If they did not like baseball, they were out. If they liked baseball and could play it but said that they didn't have time, they were in. If they liked baseball and could play it and had time but were a little nervous about (A.K.A. outright against) the idea of going up against Teach Marshall, they were in. If they looked weak-minded, Luffy didn't even ask in the first place.

So it was that he managed to create a list of precisely nine people.

Luffy frowned down at the list in the back of his notebook. From top to bottom, he had Coby Marine, Helmeppo Morgan, Akumai Wing, Farafura Scar, Kebbi Goggle, Nat Toh, Eric Suiran, Anjou Tattoo, and finally, Luffy D. Monkey.

Luffy knew perfectly that a team required more than the exact number of players to participate in a game; there had to be replacements, in case someone was hurt or sick. They would also probably need a coach. Eventually.

But for all intents and purposes, he had what he needed to form a baseball team. Luffy grinned proudly.

* * *

"My _God_ , Zoro!" Nami was reaching the end of her rope as, _yet again_ , she was forced to pry the needle from his fingers, flip it over, and replace it. "You stick the _pointy_ end into the cloth! Is that so difficult to understand?"

"I don't see what difference it makes," Zoro grumbled. "It goes through the cloth either way." But then Nami's glare silenced him and he went back to work, muttering under his breath as Nami turned on Luffy.

"Luffy! You're not paying attention again! Honestly, why I try to-"

"That Usopp guy isn't here."

Nami blinked a moment, then looked around; to her surprise, Luffy was right. Strange. Usopp King was never absent… But then again, everyone had to get sick some-

Wait a second—Kaya Syrup was there! How could she be there but not Usopp?

Nami shook the thoughts away. Honestly, everyone had to get sick sometime, and it had nothing to do with whether or not one's significant other was sick as well.

"He's probably just sick," she told Luffy with a clear air of dismissal, but Luffy shook his head.

"He was fine this morning," Luffy insisted with sincerity, "But then he wasn't in any of our classes. That's really strange, isn't it?"

"No. People can get sick suddenly without warning. Now get back to work."

"But that's only when the sickness's serious," Zoro pointed out.

Luffy looked alarmed. "He could've collapsed somewhere where no one can find him, and-"

"Quiet!" Luffy and Zoro's mouths snapped shut and they looked at her. "He's fine, okay? Just get this finished before the b-"

The bell cut her off, and Nami sighed in defeat as Luffy cheered and Zoro smirked as the two of them proceeded to toss their half-finished projects into their bags. Leaving the classroom, Nami had to wonder if she would ever see calm, happy days again.

Nami noted that said 'calm, happy days' translated easily into 'Luffy-less, Zoro-less days', and sighed in defeat. She had decided that it was a good idea to take them on, and at this rate she'd probably be stuck with them till graduation.

Nami paused to think about that. No, she realized, she could potentially be stuck with them for another four years after that if she chose to go to W. G. College. And still after that if she chose to stay on as a professor as she had planned.

The very thought made Nami shudder violently. She made a mental note to apply to Harvard as soon as possible—she had wanted to for ages, but now she actually had a valid excuse. She was running from Luffy and Zoro and having to care for them all her life, not from…

Nami refused to let that line of thought continue as she stomped moodily after Luffy and Zoro.

Life was a whole lot easier when she pretended not to enjoy caring for the two boys.

"Nami, can we go get a snack now?" Luffy's grin was so enthusiastic that Nami had to struggle to keep her moodiness from flying away.

"And beer," Zoro added with his own sort of quiet enthusiasm. Nami sighed in resignation. They'd never concentrate on homework if their stomachs were empty, anyway.

"No beer. You're underage. But yes, you can have a snack if you like."

Luffy cheered. "Off to Sanji's restaurant!" And he bolted towards the door. Nami couldn't hide a smile as she grabbed Zoro by the wrist and followed.

Unfortunately, they were stopped at the door.

"I thought I told you I wouldn't let you come in here ever again," Patty growled, glaring at Luffy and Zoro in turn.

"What? Why?" Luffy seemed beyond shocked.

"You"-Patty pointed at Zoro-"get into fights with Sanji and break half the furniture in the shop. You"-he pointed at Luffy-"deplete our foot stores, goad Sanji into fights with your friend, and never pay a cent for the damage you inflict on our shop!"

Nami felt it best not to mention that while she could not blame Patty for not letting them in because of Zoro's fights with Sanji, his claims against Luffy were hardly fair. He could not help his appetite—if he didn't eat as much as he did, he tended to grow lethargic and delusional, as Nami had learned the hard way—his goads were in no way intentional, and he _had_ no money with which to pay for the damage. But Nami settled for crossing her arms and glaring at Patty, and trying not to think of how badly it boded for her that she was acting and feeling as though Luffy were a little brother of hers whom it was her duty to protect.

To her surprise, however, Luffy took this quite calmly.

"Hey, is there a guy called Usopp King in there?"

Patty blinked. "Usopp? No, hasn't been around today. Strange, really, since he's usually going on about his 'adventures' and attracting crowds. Never missed a day before. The boy's good for business, you know. Great storyteller…" Then he seemed to remember whom he was speaking to. "But you're not going to come in, whether or not the Liar's here!" And the trio was shooed away.

"Don't you think it's weird that Usopp's not here?" Luffy asked again as they left. Nami rolled her eyes.

"He spoke to us _once_ , a week and a half ago. That doesn't make him our responsibility."

"Where does he live?"

Nami sighed. "I don't know, in the dorms, I would guess." Luffy looked at her expectantly. "Fine! I'll go find out. Follow me, and don't let go of Zoro." After a few more repeats of the Canada incidents (all of which had been solved within a few hours thanks to Rika, who seemed to have developed some sort of sixth sense as to the location of her beloved hero) Nami had learned that the word 'follow' was not in Zoro's vocabulary. Someone had to be virtually dragging him if they didn't want him lost.

"Thanks Nami!" Luffy chirped as he proceeded to drag Zoro unceremoniously along the road towards the office—or so he thought.

"Luffy?"

"Yes?"

"Other way."

"Ah." Luffy was not remotely fazed as he turned on his heels and proceeded to drag Zoro in the opposite direction as though he had intended to head that way all along.

Nami sighed to herself. _Oh well. If it were Zoro, he'd probably leave the road altogether.._

Nami wasted no time in the office. As usual, her conversation with Califa consisted of many fragments of sentences, and was indecipherable to Luffy.

"Usopp King."

"No contact possible. Four-oh-one."

"Roommates?"

"Akumai Wing and Eric Suiran."

"Thanks!" Then Nami was marching back out of the office as if she had received all necessary information.

"What-"

"They haven't received any word from Usopp as to why he wasn't in classes today, and they haven't managed to contact him. 401 is his room number."

"But- Zoro!" Luffy trailed off in a whine as Zoro started walking in the wrong direction.

"Luffy, didn't I tell you not to physically let go of him?"

"I'm watching him. And I don't like holding onto his wrist all the time. Besides, he shakes me off after a while."

"If you lose Zoro, you get to pay me double what he owes me now." Nami began to turn and continue on her way before she realized what she had just implied and turned back to glare at the pair warningly. "And that doesn't mean that you don't have to pay me, Zoro, so don't go getting any ideas."

Zoro and Luffy exchanged a glance and sighed in resignation as they followed their tyrant 'tutor.'

When they reached the boys' dormitories, Nami wasted no time in storming down the room at the end of the hallway on the fourth floor. It did not take much pounding before a groggy-looking boy opened the door and stared at the trio outside his door in surprise.

"Can I help you?"

"You are…?" Apparently, Nami wasn't just going to take for granted that the person in the room would be a roommate of Usopp's.

"Eric Suiran. This is my room." The boy had a no-nonsense sort of attitude, but his smile softened his demeanor.

"We happened to notice that Usopp King hasn't been around today-"

"Except in the morning."

"Yes, Luffy, let me do the talking. As I was saying, We haven't seen Usopp around. Any idea where he might be?"

Eric scratched his head, and Nami wondered if it was her imagination that he seemed to be addressing Luffy more than herself, as though they had a prior acquaintance. "Honestly, I've got no clue. I don't have any classes in common with him and he's never back here till curfew… Hey Akumai!" The door opened a little further to reveal another boy doing a plié at the center of the room.

"Hm?" the boy called Akumai replied, looking up toward the entrance. With a grin, he made a chassé over to the door. "Hey, captain! What's up?"

Nami was taken aback and had no idea what to say—until Luffy stepped forward and grinned familiarly at the dancing boy. "Hey, Akumai! Seen Usopp around today?"

Akumai thought for a moment. "No actually. And that's kind of strange, since we're in the same P.E. class…"

"I know; so am I. Strange. But it would be so much more fun if Eric took P.E. with us."

"Yeah. Why _do_ you like dance better anyway?"

"I prefer a good workout to twirling like a ballerina, but thanks for the invitation, captain."

"Aw… It's such a shame."

"Sure is. So, practice tomorrow?"

"Of course. See you then!"

Nami rubbed her forehead in irritation as the door closed, Luffy parting with Akumai and Eric on amicable terms. Strange, since she didn't recall them ever meeting before. Had Luffy met them while he was still in the orphanage? She wouldn't find that surprising, frankly. Luffy didn't seem the type to stay where he was told. No, scratch that—Luffy _wasn't_ the type to stay where he was told.

"Just humor me, Luffy, and remind me: how do you know Akumai Wing and Eric Suiran, why do they call you captain, and what, exactly, are you practicing tomorrow?"

"Oh. They're on the baseball team." Nami blinked and glanced at Zoro, who was suddenly looking interested. Did he have something to do with this?

"I wasn't aware that our high school had a baseball team."

"I know. You told me I could make one, remember? So I did! I've got barely enough players and we haven't got a coach, but we'll work it out. We've just got to beat the college team in a match." Right. So Zoro was uninvolved. Pity. She would have loved an excuse to triple what he currently owed her. But at the very least, this explained why Luffy always seemed to inexplicitly disappear lately when it was time for her and Zoro's sports practice, magically reappearing as soon as the hour and a half were up.

"Just? Listen to me. Have you ever heard the name Teach D. Marshall?" Nami was growing just a little desperate. Did this boy have no sense?

"Yeah, lots."

"Then why-"

"We can beat those guys." The statement was so matter-of-fact that it left Nami at a loss for words. She looked to Zoro pleadingly. If anyone could talk Luffy out of or into something, it was Zoro (it probably had something to do with the fact that the two of them thought in a bizarre way that was incomprehensible to all other human beings). But Zoro just blinked at her.

"He can do it."

Nami gave up at that point, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. "Right. We're studying in your room today."

"What?" demanded Zoro at the same time as Luffy asked, "Why?"

"Because it's closest, and because I haven't been in there in a week and I want to see that you're living under…ordinary living conditions."

The horrified glance exchanged by Luffy and Zoro did not go unnoticed by Nami. It would not surprise her that their room would be in no condition to study in. But that couldn't be healthy either.

An hour later, the boys' room was clean, and she was proceeding with their physics tutoring—or trying, at least. Zoro was barely listening, and Luffy was… Well, he was Luffy.

"Gravity?" Luffy cocked his head, puzzled.

"Yes, gravity," Nami told him, breathing a sigh of exasperation. "The thing that pulls you down."

Luffy stared.

"Nothing pulls me down!" he insisted, and then leapt into the air to do a few somersaults before landing and looking at her like a person would look at a toddler when explaining that up is up and down is down. "See?"

"Yes, but that's just because you're overly athletic, and-" Nami stopped, realizing that this method of arguing would only result in a headache. "Then why do you think that you landed back on the ground instead of floating around?"

Luffy stared at her, wondering how someone so smart couldn't figure out something as simple as that.

"Because that's down. You can't go up."

"Yes, and why can't you go up?"

"Because you have to be able to fly to go up."

"Why?"

"Because without wings, you go down."

"Right! And you go down because a force known as 'gravity' is pulling you down."

"No, I go down because down is down, and I don't go up because I don't have wings."

Nami opened her mouth to try again, but Zoro cut her off, cracking open an eye from where he sat against the wall.

"Give it up, Nami—you might as well try to convince him not to eat for a day."

Nami considered keeping up the argument, but finally sighed in resignation. It was a waste of energy.

"I just hope he doesn't try arguing that with Mr. Dorry…" she said as she rubbed her temples.

Zoro cracked an eye open and smirked.

"Why do you think he has so much homework concerning gravity?"

Nami's head snapped up to stare at Zoro.

"He didn't." Zoro's smirk widened, giving Nami her answer. "He did," Nami mumbled in despair, dropping her face into her hands. This was one tutoring job where she was probably never going to succeed.

"Can we have food yet?" Luffy whined. Nami sighed. He had been deprived of his afternoon snack, after all. Maybe that was why he was having so much trouble studying.

It didn't hurt to dream, she told herself wryly as she closed the books and decided to take them to the Spice Bean. Neither had money, so they'd both owe her for their meal. But then again, Luffy would never have any money as far as she could foresee, so she'd just pile it all up on Zoro's debt.

* * *

In Zoro's opinion, Nami had pulled far too many 'strings' for his and Luffy's 'own good.' It was one thing that he was in all of Luffy's classes and was forced to dance like a girly moron during P.E. It was quite another thing that she had managed to convince the people in the office to change his homeroom to Luffy's—in other words, he was now officially a junior rather than a senior.

Zoro did _not_ enjoy being looked at. He did _not_ enjoy being spoken to by people from all directions. Most of all, he did _not_ enjoy people prodding him whenever he fell asleep and waking him up! Honestly, what did they think they were?

Which was why Zoro had taken to skulking in a corner during homeroom. For some reason that he could not fathom, Luffy, who usually chatted with a wide variety of people during homeroom, had chosen today to join him in the corner. That in itself wasn't so bad. Luffy, Zoro had found, was actually the person that Zoro most enjoyed having nearby. But when Luffy _talked_ when Zoro was trying to _sleep_ , his patience wore thin. He tried his best to tune the boy out, but it was seemingly hopeless.

And then there was a yank at his ear.

"I said, did you hear me?" Luffy was scowling, and Zoro found himself wondering if Nami had rubbed off on Luffy.

"What?"

"Have you seen Usopp?"

Zoro stared. He looked across the room—yes, Usopp was definitely there—that was definitely Usopp who was talking animatedly to some of their classmates over there—and looked back at Luffy. Then he looked back at Usopp. What was he missing here?

"I know Usopp's there, Zoro," said Luffy, and he sounded so impatient and businesslike that Zoro started to worry—something that he did very rarely. "But have you _talked_ to him?"

"No…" Zoro's answer was slow and careful. Luffy sounded like Nami. Not just the a-little-comment-was-something-she-might-have-said kind of thing: Luffy was acting _just like_ Nami did when she was impatient with them. Zoro decided that it would be a good idea to remain submissive in light of this rather shocking development. "Why?"

"Couldn't you pay more attention?" Right. That was _not_ Luffy. Either he and Nami had switched bodies, or aliens had abducted Luffy last night in his sleep and turned him into a Nami-clone that looked like Luffy. "He's been telling anyone who'll listen about where he's been these past two days! He says that that guy who works for that girl…what's her name?"

"The Kaya girl?"

"Yeah, her. The guy who takes care of her. He says that his name's not Krahadore, but Kuro. And he says that that Kuro guy's been holding him captive for two days, and he only just managed to get away, but he'll be taken back as soon as school's out. The Kuro guy's intending to take over the world or something, so we've got to stop him!"

Zoro was simply cynical at the point that he heard that this was coming from the mouth of the Liar. At the point where Mr. Krahadore—even Zoro knew the guy who gave him food and beer for free whenever he was lost and hadn't eaten in a while—was supposed to be an evil guy named Kuro, the story hit the ranks of 'unbelievable.' When the taking-over-the-world part rolled around, the story struck an all-time tops in the rank of 'downright outrageous,' a yet unexplored territory of Zoro's world.

Obviously, the brain switch had caused Nami—in Luffy's body—some damage. Or maybe Luffy was so dysfunctional to begin with that Nami's brain had suffered damage upon entering the boy's body.

"Right." Zoro chose his words carefully. "Luffy, I think we should go talk to Nami about this."

"That's what I was going to say! Let's go." Zoro anticipated having to run after the way-too-weird-Nami-in-Luffy's-body, but Luffy-who-was-Nami grabbed him around the wrist and began to drag him down the hallway towards Nami's—now Luffy's, he supposed—homeroom.

The bell had already rung, and the people in Nami's—Luffy's—homeroom were just beginning to say the Pledge of Allegiance when Zoro and Luffy—Nami—barged in. Nami—Luffy—looked at them in horror. Well, of course he would. He was looking at his own body. Zoro wouldn't put it past Luffy to have not noticed the body switch.

"What?" Nami-who-was-Luffy asked in a tired, horrified, resigned tone. Zoro sympathized with Luffy; this could not be an easy circumstance to deal with.

Zoro made ot reply. But Nami-whose-brain-had-been-damaged-by-the-brain-switch was insistent on making his—her—weird point.

"Look, Mr. Krahadore is actually an escaped convict called Kuro, and he's going to kill us all to take over the world!"

Zoro sighed. Not only had that sounded completely ridiculous, but the story had changed as well. Zoro had heard nothing about an escaped convict and everybody being killed, but that simply made the story sound even more ridiculous anyway.

"Where'd you hear that?" asked the startled Nami—Luffy. If Zoro had still been in doubt about the brain switch, this confirmed it. Nami would have said, "Luffy, where did you hear that?" or something like that. The fact that she—he—was avoiding saying Luffy's—Nami's?—name was all the proof in the world that the brain switch had occurred.

"Usopp came back today, and was telling us all about how Kuro had held him hostage for the last two days before he barely managed to get away. He can't do anything about this on his own, and he needs our help!"

A couple people in the room were snickering. Nami-who-was-Luffy raised her eyebrows. Zoro didn't blame them. It was time for an intervention.

"Listen, Nami—I mean Luffy." Nami-who-was-Luffy's eyebrows disappeared under her—his—bangs. "Your and Nami's brains were switched. I don't know how it happened, but just calm down, okay buddy? I think Nami's brain was a bit damaged in the switch—even you wouldn't believe a story as silly as that one—but we've got to do something about this. Since Nami can't help us, we've got to do something on our own…"

The snickers were outright laughter now, and Zoro glared at them. "Hey, we've got a serious problem over here!" But they only laughed harder at that.

Oh well. Zoro didn't even know most of them anyway.

"Come on, Luffy—I mean Nami," Zoro addressed Luffy's body. But Luffy's body was staring at him as though he'd lost his mind. Nami's body looked ready to faint.

"First of all, Zoro," said Nami's body slowly, and it sounded so much like Nami trying to explain something that she felt she shouldn't have to that Zoro gulped. "Rest assured that I'm Nami and he"-she pointed at Luffy's body-"is Luffy."

"Look, Luffy," said Zoro with a sigh to Nami's body, "I know that this is difficult, but I assure you that your brains've been switched. I can't do anything about it, but we can think about it and figure out how this happened and what we can do about it."

The class was in convulsive laughter now, and Luffy buried Nami's face in her hands. Luffy's body was still staring at Zoro as though he'd lost his mind.

Suddenly Nami's face shot up, and glared at Zoro with such vehemence that Zoro took a step backwards. Then she—he—stepped up onto Nami's chair.

"As you can see," she announced to her laughing homeroom, "I have good reason to be at wits' end with these two. If any of you is willing to switch places—or brains, I suppose—"-her homeroom went into another hysterical fit of laughter-"with me, then I would be delighted to oblige. In fact, why doesn't one of you whom actually find this situation amusing take my place?" The room went quiet. "Thank you. Now." She descended from the chair and turned to Zoro, who was now starting to feel pretty sure that the brain switch theory hadn't been right after all. "Would you like to go on, or shall we say that you two go back to your homeroom, I stay in mine, and we ignore all this nonsense?"

"We can't!" Luffy protested vehemently, and Zoro suddenly realized what had happened. His brain switch theory had been rubbish from the very start—why hadn't he seen it? He'd caught a whiff of the truth, and chosen to ignore it.

"Luffy," Zoro said slowly. "Evil aliens of doom abducted you last night and tried and failed to make you into a Nami clone didn't they?"

It escaped Zoro why the homeroom seemed to find this statement so terribly amusing. This was serious!

"Zoro," said Luffy calmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sit down. I think you're sick…or something."

Nami pushed her chair forwards, and Luffy bodily forced Zoro to sit down. Nami and Luffy stood side-by-side, wearing identical worried expressions. Well, actually, Luffy looked a bit more worried and Nami looked a bit more ready to slaughter him, but otherwise their expressions would have been identical.

"Now, Zoro," said Nami in a kind tone that made Zoro's guards shoot up. "Is there something you'd like to tell us? Has something bad happened lately? Did you hit your head somewhere?"

Great. Now his two friends—plus the laughing class—thought he was suffering brain damage.

"I'm fine! But Nami, Luffy's-"

"I'm perfectly fine, Zoro. We're worried about you."

Zoro looked at Nami, pointing accusingly at Luffy. "See?"

Indeed, Nami was now staring at Luffy and edging toward Zoro. Apparently, she deemed Zoro to be the less brain-damaged of the pair.

"You know what?" Nami finally said, throwing up her hands and looking between Luffy and Zoro. "I think I hit you both too hard on the head this morning. Go back to your homeroom—and try not to bump into anything—and we'll discuss this when it's not class time, okay?" The bell rang to signal the end of homeroom. "No, scratch that. You two are _running_ to your homeroom to get your bags, and we're running you to class. Go!"

"But Nami, Luffy's really got brain damage! It's serious!"

"But Nami, our lives are really in danger! It's serious!"

Zoro shuddered at how similarly he and the brain-damaged Luffy were trying to argue.

"If anyone's sustaining brain damage in this room," growled Nami, "it's both of you, and that's nothing new. Luffy, Usopp's a liar, and you know it. Remember the story about the evil bunny of doom living in the wall? Usopp spread that. Even you know that there's no truth to that—you've climbed the wall plenty of times. Usopp just likes the attention his stories get him. Ignore the stories. Zoro, I honestly and truly promise you that Luffy was _not_ abducted by evil aliens, so get going!"

The homeroom was almost empty but for a few people who remained to watch the argument with amusement; Zoro and Luffy bolted past them to get their bags, Nami following with her bag slung over one shoulder, muttering angrily to herself.

"I was _not_ abducted by aliens!" Luffy hissed to Zoro as they ran.

"Yes you _were!_ " Zoro hissed back. "Either that, or you hit your head really, really hard and suffered permanent brain damage."

"Stop arguing and _move!_ " Nami snapped at them from behind, and they darted in and out of homeroom and to class at a record speed.

The only event that occurred that day was in home economics, when Usopp King and Kaya Syrup, the widely acknowledged if not-quite-aware-yet couple, had a terrible, vehement, and loud argument. Apparently, Usopp had been persisting with his story of Krahadore, and Kaya couldn't believe that Usopp would try to make her guardian the butt of one of his jokes. Certainly, she had said (yelled, more like), Krahadore and Usopp had never liked each other, and that was no secret to her. But she had thought that Usopp was better than to try to bring him down by spreading such rumors, no matter how unbelievable they were.

Classes were uneventful on the part of the resident secret 'gang' because Luffy and Zoro had spent half their first class—history, incidentally—fighting over whether or not Luffy had been abducted by aliens, and finally acknowledged that they had reached an impasse when Miss Nico threatened them both with detention if they continued to argue. Neither would speak to the other after that, and Nami, when in a class with them, was too furious with them to interact with either of the pair.

So when, after school, someone pointed out that Usopp was missing, not one of the trio, not even Luffy, displayed any interest in the subject. Luffy snorted and stomped away off campus (presumably to the Spice Bean, since he was still barred from the Baratie), Zoro raised an eyebrow dangerously, and Nami scowled to express that she did not want to hear about the Liar ever again.

* * *

"So, young Usopp. I fulfilled my part of the bargain. I let you out for school. You've had your chance to talk with your friends. But when Kaya gets home, what do I hear? Why, a reluctant confession that you've been running around all day telling your classmates that I'm going to kill them all and try to take over the world! My, my. The least you could have done was stick to the truth."

"I told them precisely what I knew!" Usopp snapped, wiping the blood from his chin with disgust. "You said yourself that I couldn't imagine the scale of this—that it wasn't even contained in this country!"

Krahadore—whose name was really Kuro—chuckled. "Let's forget the details that you omitted and focus on the details that you made up, shall we? I never said anything about taking over the world, did I?"

"But you made sure I thought that was what it was, didn't you you bastard!?" Usopp refused to let Kuro see that he was ready to cry. He gritted his teeth and thought of his classmates and Kaya and Carrot and Pepper and Onion, and wondered if he would ever see them again. No, more than that—far more than that, he wondered if they would live to see the next day.

"Naturally so. But then I couldn't have your story sounding remotely realistic, now, could I? Not, of course, that anyone would have believed you anyway. Did you think I didn't know your reputation as a liar? I believe that's what you're called in W. G.—The Liar. Splendid, isn't it? The one person who learns of my plan is the one whom no one would ever believe. Unfortunate for you, of course, but I'm afraid that I prioritize my own agenda far above that of a silly high schooler who sees the need to glorify himself with lies at every given opportunity."

"You could just…ask Kaya to give you the money or something! There's no need to kill her!"

"Yes, there is." Kuro's eyes glinted. "I don't just want money. I want a real life. I want to be able to live comfortably in this quiet, peaceful little village in the knowledge that I am living a normal life surrounded by people that trust me. There could be nothing more wonderful than this."

"But-"

"Besides, boy, where would you be if I did as you say and asked Kaya to turn her money over to me? I know very well that Kaya pays for your tuition, boy, no matter how you two tried to hide it. Did you know that Kaya was going to pay for your college tuition too? I was quite touched, you now. She had a fund all set up for you…

"Do you know, boy," Kuro suddenly changed the topic. His voice was mocking, and he was walking around Usopp with a smirk of amusement on his face. "Do you know that I was actually _worried_ when I fulfilled my side of the bargain? I've raised Kaya from a mere child, and I was worried that she would believe you over me. That's how important you've become to her. I wonder how she's feeling right now? Do you think she feels like you betrayed her?" Kuro leaned down to Usopp with a smirk. "How does it feel to betray the love of your life by telling her the truth? To know that she'll die hating you more than ever for all that she loved you before? Do you think…" Kuro's voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you think that dying hating you means that she'll continue to shun you in the afterlife? That would mean that this pain would stay with you for an eternity. My, my, what a trial! I almost pity the burden that you must carry!"

Usopp spat on Kuro's face. Kuro stood straight, calmly wiping from his face the saliva of the boy who was lying bound and bloody on the floor.

"Bastard!" cried Usopp. Kuro's words had gotten to him, and he damned himself for it. He was crying because of what Kuro had said, and that was something that he was sure he would never forgive himself for. "You conniving, lying bastard!"

"Lowering ourselves to hypocrisy, are we?" said Kuro mildly. "There's only one person in this room with such a reputation for lying that he's called the Liar—and it certainly isn't me."

"No," Usopp agreed with a growl. So what if he was crying? It didn't make his pain any less; he would show Kuro what Usopp King stood for. "You were just called The Conniver. You were also called Kuro the Sly, the Infallible Planner, and a bunch of other rubbish that's completely insignificant beside the reputation of a teenage boy who just likes to tell stories."

"You mean to say that you're so much better than me because your stories are harmless?" asked Kuro with amusement. "Indeed, it was so until today. But think of how many people you hurt today. But then, perhaps you don't care as much as you think you do. Just think," he went on in a tone dripping with faked sympathy, "you had so many lives at stake today—even Kaya's—and you didn't even have the heart to tell them the truth!"

"I told them the truth!"

"Ah, but not all of it."

Usopp had lain on the floor (sort of) submissively, in the hope that if he remained (relatively) obedient, he might live. But that final comment was the last straw. If he was going to die anyway, and he knew he was, God damn it, he'd die fighting. Despite his bonds, despite his wounds, despite everything, Usopp leapt to his feet—it was more of a scramble than a leap, but Kuro still raised his eyebrows in surprise that Usopp still had that kind of strength. The tears on Usopp's face were now no more than stains, and his eyes were dry.

"Kaya's a smart girl," Usopp snapped, glaring at Kuro with all he had in him. "She may not believe me now, but I've planted the seed in her mind. She'll figure it all out for herself before long."

"I'm sure you'd _love_ to think so, wouldn't you?" Kuro's voice was a barren mountain of amusement and mocking pity. "Perhaps I should be so merciful as to let you die thinking that Kaya will come to her senses before she dies tonight."

"There's no need to pity me, bastard. You'll be following me before you know it."

"Ah… Gone delusional with belief, I see," Kuro sighed. "I suppose that means that it's time for me to kill you." Usopp had to wonder if Kuro expected him to believe this obviously fake sympathy at all. No, he decided. Kuro, sadist that he was, just wanted Usopp to get angry so he could hit the boy again.

It was working. The rational thoughts were so far from the 'action' part of Usopp's mind that he could not stop himself when his mouth, through no will of his own, shouted, "Go ahead and try, you son of a bitch!"

Inwardly, Usopp cringed. There went any chance of survival he might have had. Why not just dig himself a nice, deep grave in this dirty cellar while he was at it? He was sure that Kuro would appreciate having a little less dirty work to perform on his own.

""Well, well." All amusement and mockery had left Kuro's voice: it was now ice cold. "It would seem that you're very eager to die, young Usopp."

"Like you'd let me live anyway, after what I saw!"

"Of course. Well then. Have it your way." To Usopp's surprise, Kuro turned to leave. Then Usopp went cold. Kuro was just going to leave him in this dark, dirty, damp basement to starve; Usopp should have figured that death at Kuro's hand would be neither simple nor painless.

But then Kuro stopped at the door and turned back to Usopp. Usopp didn't like the way the guy was smiling. "Do you have any idea where you are, boy?"

"In the cellar of some run down warehouse, maybe?" Usopp snapped. "How should I know? If you want to ask your captives this kind of questions, you'd do better to not _blindfold_ them before bringing them here. All I know is that you didn't take me into Fuchsia or across campus, since it was so quiet all the way here; and people would have stopped you, anyway. I don't know, a random little warehouse in the woods? There're plenty of those in these parts." Usopp credited his fear for his babbling; but he was proud to say that his voice remained perfectly steady.

"Hm. As a matter of fact, young Usopp, this is one of the many cellars of Kaya's home. One of the ones that she doesn't know about, I might add. In fact, this cellar happens to be directly beneath her room." Usopp's already shivering body went so cold that he couldn't move. What was the sadist thinking now? "I wonder if you'll be able to hear her screams as she dies? Do you think she'll call for you? Or me? As a matter of fact, one of the men who'll be on the job tonight has been lusting after the girl for quite some time now. Perhaps I should give him permission to-"

"You try anything of the sort, fucking asshole," Usopp growled. His voice was deep and dangerous, and his eyes glinting wildly. "And no matter how many times you kill me, I'll keep coming back. I'll haunt you till the day you die, and then so long after that that your horrible haunted lifetime'll seem like a blink of an eye. And every time you so much as _think_ of hurting anyone like you're hurting me right now, you'll feel that pain yourself—only a thousand times more acutely." It was difficult to say whether Usopp or Kuro was more surprised at this outburst; yet neither let it show. Usopp's terror was still apparent in the trembling of his knees and quivering of his lips, but his glare was as fierce and steady as his voice, as though he had meant to say all that all along.

Kuro, on the other hand, laughed.

"I'll see—you'll haunt me, will you? But I'm afraid you'll be missing out on that, fascinating as it sounds. You see, you're going to be dying such a slow, painful death that at the moment of your death, you won't have the strength, will, or even the merest _thought_ left to leave a piece of yourself here to haunt me. You'll be able to think of nothing but the terrible pain and how you just wish it would stop. So you see, even if you _do_ have the strength of mind to haunt me, and ghosts _do_ exist—both of which, by the way, I find extremely doubtful—you won't be able to follow through with that particular plan of yours."

Anything and everything that Usopp felt as Kuro spoke, Usopp concealed from his expression. However, admirable though his attempts were, the increased trembles of his knees gave Kuro his answer.

Kuro chuckled to himself and shook his head in apparent amusement as he left the room. Usopp could think of nothing remotely intelligent to say, and could only glare helplessly at Kuro's back as the man left the room. He continued to glare at the door long after Kuro had gone and his footsteps faded away, but of course, it made no difference. The trembles of his knees spread slowly throughout the rest of his body, and he was soon trembling like a leaf in the wind, and he felt hot and then cold and then hot before his body went cold again, and his legs refused to hold his legs any longer. Usopp fell to his knees. The faint outline of the door that he could make out through the darkness blurred as his eyes filled with tears.

Finally, Usopp bowed his head to bury it in his knees as he gave in to the overwhelming urge and sobbed without a sound.


	5. Sanji Prince

Sanji was no stranger to the many rumors that surrounded him on campus. The rumors of his tendency to get into fights in the restaurant, the rumors concerning his rise to assistant head chef despite the enmity between him and Chef Zeff, rumors of his tendency to flirt with every woman he met…

But there was one rumor that annoyed Sanji far more than any other.

It involved questions of his sexuality. It also involved one of his best friends. Well, his only real friend actually, which was probably how the rumor had begun.

Sanji's long-standing friendship with Usopp King had not come about through the free will of either, but through certain circumstances. This was one of the first arguments Sanji used to challenge the rumor after the "I'm not gay!" argument that almost no one seemed to be willing to listen to.

Sanji had been a junior the year that Usopp transferred to W. G. Institute as a freshman. Sanji took no interest in the incoming non-female freshmen, and would not have even known of Usopp had entered at the beginning of the third term. But Usopp had been in home economics—Sanji's best class, oddly enough.

Sanji had always been good at cooking, and his talent had earned him the highest average in home economics every year so far. W. G. Institute being the small school that it was, there was only ever one class per elective every term, and everyone who wanted to take that elective that term took it together; this meant that Usopp had been in the same home economics class as Sanji. Again, Usopp being male and all, this would not have concerned Sanji in the least.

It just so happened that Usopp had managed to secure himself an even higher average than Sanji by the time the term was half over. Sanji had stormed over to Usopp one day and made it perfectly clear that home economics was _Sanji's_ department, and Usopp had better not try to overstep his boundaries. Usopp had at first looked pleased and delighted to be addressed by the best cook in the school, but as the conversation progressed, had begun to look rather offended and hurt. Finally, before Sanji had been even half way through his rant, Usopp had given a curt nod and walked away.

Sanji had been rather dubious—no one ever gave in to deliberately lowering their average that quickly, and that wasn't even what Sanji had been trying to accomplish (or was it? He wasn't all that certain anymore)—but at the next class, Usopp had not been quite so creative—his creativity, Sanji knew, was all that had raised his average so high—and what little talent he had outside of the creativity department had gone out the window. Within two classes, Usopp's average had somehow fallen as low as a C.

While this had unnerved Sanji, he would have shrugged it off and paid the situation no heed—it was, after all, Usopp who had decided to drop his average so drastically.

But that evening, he had been walking the long way home when he had heard the sounds of a commotion. Naturally curious, Sanji had followed the sounds and found himself in W. G. Orphanage. There he had seen three little boys cowering in terror.

In front of the three boys stood a familiar figure—Usopp King. Sanji had watched from the shadows, wondering why the boys were so terrified of Usopp. But then he had noticed another figure on the other side of Usopp—someone whom he did not recognize, but seemed strangely familiar.

From what he had gathered from the chaos, the person was in need of a child, but did not want to bother having one of his own, and had come up with the idea that it would be nice if he could take the three boys and pretend that they were his own long-lost triplets.

To this day, Sanji wasn't quite sure what that fuss had been about. He didn't understand why this weird guy had tried to take the boys away in the middle of the night, nor why the orphaned boys were so reluctant to be adopted. But such matters didn't matter very much to him anyway. All that had concerned him was that as he watched, the man had struck Usopp. The boy, while bleeding, had refused to back down, insisting that he would protect his little friends to the death.

An exasperated Sanji had noted that Usopp really _would_ die if someone didn't do something, and so stepped forward and kicked the guy. The guy had been a bit stronger than Sanji had expected, and even with Sanji's excellent kicks (during soccer practice he trained for more than just soccer games), there was some struggle before the guy went down. He didn't bother to look at who 'the guy' was—it didn't really concern him—and told the three orphaned boys to stop gaping and get back inside before he kicked them back. The boys had expressed concern for 'Usopp' (at that point, Sanji hadn't even bothered to remember who Usopp was as anything other than That-Guy-Who-Dared-Try-and-Best-Me-in-Home-Economics), and after gathering that Usopp was than That-Guy-Who-Dared-Try-and-Best-Me-in-Home-Economics-and-Is-Now-Sitting-on-the-Ground-Gaping-at-Me, assured the three that this 'Usopp' of theirs would be fine if they hurried to bed.

Sanji had helped Usopp up roughly by the shoulder, and they had made their way back to the dorms without further trouble. Sanji recalled some conversation that had been along the lines of, "Why'd you save me?" "Shut up and walk." "I thought you hated me." "Shut up and walk." "Do you act like that to everyone?" "What else do you expect me to do?" "I don't know, be nice, maybe?" "Shut up and walk." "I can't believe you saved me." "I can't believe it either."

Needless to say, after Sanji got Usopp back to the dorms, they had intended to part on sour terms, and hopefully never speak to each other again. But then Usopp had noticed some cuts of Sanji's from the struggle with the nameless, faceless man. Usopp had insisted on treating them—albeit a little roughly, but it was more than Sanji would have done—and then said that it was so late that Sanji had better stay the night if he didn't want to be attacked by one of the grizzlies from the wildlife preserve, but Usopp would be getting the bed, and Sanji could have the floor.

Sanji had agreed without argument, and after an hour of tossing and turning, Usopp had tossed him a blanket and pillow accompanied by a few half-hearted insults.

As Sanji recalled, there had been some conversation before they had gone to sleep, but a good part of it had consisted muttered insults that weren't very biting. Of course, both of Usopp's roommates had been present, but asleep.

Now, everyone at W. G. Institute knew that at W. G. Institute, reputation was life. If you went to talk to a teacher, if you applied for a job on campus or in Fuchsia, the higher persons made their decisions the moment they saw the name of the applicant. A person with a good reputation was in at once. A person with a bad reputation was not even considered. If they had never heard the name, the paper was tossed into the 'for consideration' pile: otherwise known as the 'will-be-considered-if-we-don't-find-anyone-else' pile that generally went untouched. So people at this school made tremendous efforts to keep their reputations good. Of course, there were those who didn't _need_ good reputations—those with good connections—and those who didn't care about reputations. However, Sanji fell into the same category as the majority of the students of W. G. Institute: the 'must-have-a-good-reputation-or-my-life-will-be-ruined' category.

That was why he was so frustrated with the rumor that he was gay and lovers with Usopp. Not that Sanji had anything against homosexuals. Well, not him _personally_. But some—no, most—of the people in power tended to seem a little…well, biased. That was why he had gotten up and left that morning before Usopp's roommates could possibly be up. When he had glanced at Usopp's bed, however, it had been empty, much to Sanji's surprise.

That day, home economics that been entirely uneventful due to the fact that both Usopp and Sanji, the best students in the class, had each been attempting to give way to the other. This awkward situation had persisted for three days, until Usopp had finally had enough and pointedly asked Sanji about the weather. They had spent the remainder of that class conversing about the weather, and when they left the classroom, they had left behind half-finished projects and brought with them the beginnings of an amiable acquaintanceship.

Somehow—to this day, neither Sanji nor Usopp were quite sure how it had happened—by the following week, they had become what they called 'a pair with a truce,' and everyone else called 'best friends.' Before long, Usopp had shared with Sanji the tale of his father's demise (the reason for his moving to Fuchsia and transferring to W. G. High School), and Sanji had shared with Usopp his dream to major in the culinary arts at W. G. College and become a first-rate chef. Usopp had rolled his eyes at Sanji's confession, and Sanji remembered coming up with a retort before Usopp said a word. But to his surprise, Usopp had not ridiculed his dream, but told Sanji that he was a moron to think that he _needed_ culinary school. Mrs. Bear, their dear home economics teacher, was nice and fair to all her students, but Sanji was already teaching her to cook far more than she was teaching him. Seeing as how Mrs. Bear was the only teacher to teach anything in the culinary arts program, spending two years trying to learn from her would do him more harm than good. Sanji had blinked at this, never having thought about it quite that way before.

When Usopp had suggested that Sanji go to Zeff, the head chef at the Baratie, which was the only restaurant on campus and best in the area, and apprentice himself to him, Sanji had stubbornly refused to even consider it. Zeff was harsh on his friends and harsher on his employees, but he was harshest of all on his foster son, and Sanji knew that at the very best, Zeff would swear at him. At the worst, he would be kicked by the former international soccer star.

Usopp, apparently, hadn't been in the mood to hear this, because he had grabbed Sanji by the ear and dragged him right out of Miss Nico's class (Sanji had to admit that this was when he really began to respect Usopp's courage—very few people had the guts to walk out on _Miss Nico_ of all teachers). Zeff had stared at them wryly when Usopp had entered, still dragging a protesting Sanji by the ear. Then Usopp had shoved Sanji forward, and seeing as how there were a number of ladies in the restaurant, Sanji had decided that walking out like a coward wasn't an option. So Sanji had requested an apprenticeship with Zeff—the man who had never before taken on an apprentice.

Sanji had expected the ridicule; the belittling; the insults. He had not expected the acceptance, and winced to think that he had probably borne a striking resemblance to a fish as he gaped at his guardian. It was only when Zeff had rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like, "Should have known that it would just take a tug on the ear and a restaurant full of women to make you come to your senses," that Sanji had snapped his mouth shut and glared first at the smirking Zeff, and then at the snickering Usopp. Sanji had started work at the restaurant right away, and submitted his official drop out form the very next day. Usopp, on the other hand, had not had the courage to return to Miss Nico's class that day, and was given a month's worth of detentions, which he spent under Miss Nico's sharp supervision removing all the gum from various parts of the school (the bottoms of desks and chairs, the bleachers in the gyms…the list seemed endless).

What Sanji found most refreshing about his 'truce' with Usopp was that either of them could speak their mind at any given time. Even after Sanji had claimed the position of assistant head chef, Usopp was still treated as any other customer in the restaurant. But if Sanji was given leftovers to take home after work, he always called up Usopp so they could share, and Usopp was in the Baratie at some point in time everyday, attracting even more customers with his false but incredibly amusing and well-told stories. Sanji still sniped at Usopp whenever he felt like it, and Usopp had no qualms about venting his frustration on Sanji at the end of a bad day.

They were like brothers in Sanji's mind. Sometimes they talked together and laughed together like the best of friends; other times they were at each other's throats as though there was no one in the world each hated more than the other. The people who deemed them gay lovers were crazy, because couldn't they tell the difference between the relationship of lovers and brothers? And didn't the fact that he swooned over and flirted with every beautiful specimen of the female race he came across proof enough that he was straight? Apparently not. Sometimes, Sanji had very little faith in the human race: he gave the people who had come up with that ridiculous rumor full credit for that.

Anyhow, having this strange established relationship with Usopp, Sanji was not very happy when the boy failed to appear at the Baratie for three days in a row after two years of never failing to show up. When Sanji called up his dormitory, he was informed by Eric that Usopp was not there either, and had not been at all lately. On the third day, Sanji would have begun to worry just a bit if it weren't for the fact that he was informed that Usopp had been in classes; yet Usopp did not appear at any of his usual times that day. When he left the Baratie at seven that evening, Sanji was positively fuming. He marched over to the orphanage sect, certain that Usopp was having the time of his life playing with Carrot and Onion and Pepper (and Usopp owed him quite a bit for playing with the three boys the past two days when they had begun to sniffle and ask if Usopp didn't like them anymore).

But when he demanded to know where Usopp was, the three boys looked shocked that their Captain (apparently, Usopp played some sort of perpetual game of "Pirates" with the boys) was back, and deeply hurt that he had not come to see them. Sanji sighed inwardly and offered his own company, wishing that he could get out of it somehow, because if Usopp wasn't here either, then he could only guess that Usopp was really and truly sick. Usopp never got sick, but Sanji supposed that there had to be a first time for everything.

After no more than ten minutes of playing, Sanji excused himself gently from the disappointed boys, and made toward Fuchsia. Usopp, Sanji knew, would never go to Dr. Hiruruk. Usopp had a history with Dr. Hiruruk: one that involved a mildly poisonous mushroom that would have given Usopp no more than a small rash, and Dr. Hiruruk's "treatment" which had resulted in Usopp's being bedridden for half a month.

So if Usopp was really, truly sick and was not in his dorm, Sanji could only assume that he had gone to see Dr. Kureha.

Dr. Kureha lived in the mansion at the corner of Syrup Street and Drum Street. Drum Street was a street without much on it—it seemed to exist more to connect parallel streets than anything—but Syrup street was no area to be trifled with. It was the most luxurious looking place in Fuchsia, because this one street was lined with extravagant mansions on either side. All other streets (and, mind you, there weren't many as Fuchsia was so small) looked ordinary at best. Most tended to look a little old fashioned, and one particular street was lined by only run-down dumps that no one lived in if they could help it.

Sanji was frustrated, but found no fault with himself when he gulped nervously as he stood before Dr. Kureha's mansion. Sanji had fractured his spine during soccer practice the previous year, and had been forced to choose the lesser of two evils: go to Dr. Hiruruk and have the situation made even worse, or go to Dr. Kureha and have to pay a fortune that he didn't own.

Like every other sane person from Fuchsia or W. G. Institute, Sanji chose Dr. Kureha. She had had him up and about again in no time, but for two months afterwards Sanji had had to live off the leftovers from the Baratie that Zeff gave him out of the kindness of his heart. Sanji had barely been able to pay his rent for those two months with the money that was left after Dr. Kureha took what she wanted of his salary.

So it was that a rather nerve-wracked Sanji rang the doorbell of Dr. Kureha's mansion. Then he waited, hands in his pockets with feigned casualness as his heart raced at a mile a minute. _Usopp owes me big time for this one,_ Sanji muttered to himself silently.

When the door finally opened just a crack and a weird little face peeked out, Sanji had to wonder for a moment if he had the wrong house. But no, this was just as he remembered it—and he didn't think he'd ever forget it either, what with the torture that this mansion reminded him of.

Then Sanji recalled that Kureha had saved Hiruruk's adoptive son from incompetence, and taken him on as an apprentice. Sanji had heard that the boy was creepy, but dear God, this was so far beyond creepy!

The boy glared at Sanji through the crack in the door as though he could hear his thoughts. It was when he moved to close the door that Sanji remembered what he was there for and quickly stopped the door with his foot (he was rather too fond of his fingers to want to see them snapped off, thank you very much).

"Sorry for staring," Sanji said quickly before the boy could say a word or run away. "Look, I'm looking for a guy called Usopp S. King. He's been virtually missing for three days. Is he in there?"

Sanji noticed the boy's eyes soften a little—just a fraction—though the glare did not waver. There was a long silence, and just as Sanji was beginning to think that he would have to break in and raid the place in search of Usopp, all consequences be damned, the boy slowly shook his head. Sanji searched the boy's face with sharp eyes; but the boy looked entirely sincere. Sanji sighed in resignation.

"Thanks anyway. I guess I'll look elsewhere." With that said, Sanji turned and began to walk away. Not that he had any other idea as to where to go.

"Mister…" The voice came from behind him, and was weak and timid. Sanji turned in surprise. The door was open only by a sliver now, but it was definitely the creepy little boy who was talking to him. Sanji judged that speaking would send the boy running in fright, so he tried to look as un-intimidating as possible as he waited for the boy to continue. It was a few moments before the boy spoke again; he seemed to be debating with himself whether or not to speak.

"He was saying today, at school, that Mr. Krahadore's after him. Mr. Krahadore's actually trying to take over the world, and… You should try Ka- Miss Syrup's house." The boy had probably noticed Sanji's annoyed glare. Sanji had expected some new information. Not the same information that Usopp's lies were finally getting out of hand.

But then again, Sanji realized, now that he knew that Usopp was not in school, the restaurant, the dorms, the orphanage, or Dr. Kureha's place, Kaya's place was the only real place left for Sanji to search.

That was where Sanji ran into a small issue. Okay, a rather large issue.

First of all, Kaya lived in the largest mansion on Syrup Street. Syrup Street had been named for her mansion: that was how conspicuous her place was. In other words, the place was neither small, nor plain. Hence, it was carefully cared for and guarded. Sanji couldn't just walk in the back door and start sneaking around.

Second of all, Mr. Krahadore despised Usopp enough as it was. He probably had an inkling as to the relationship between Kaya and Usopp—not that it was any secret anyway—and wanted to protect Kaya out of some fatherly protectiveness. It was "sweet," but extremely inconvenient for Sanji. If he wasn't going to sneak into the house, he was going to have to walk in from the front door. With the rumor Usopp had spread around that day, Mr. Krahadore was probably steaming at the ears.

Third of all, Mr. Krahadore was Kaya's legal guardian and in charge of Syrup Manor and Kaya until she turned 18. She was still 16. Hence, Mr. Krahadore had every right to tell Sanji that he wasn't going to be coming in because any friend of Usopp's was not welcome.

That left Sanji two options: try to sneak in inconspicuously despite the guards, or try and fool Mr. Krahadore into thinking that he was there for Kaya—and that their friendship was entirely platonic and Sanji had no wish for it to be otherwise—and then somehow get Kaya to play along with him before Mr. Krahadore realized that something was off.

Sanji had a feeling that he'd be more likely to be able to sneak past the guards than fool Mr. Krahadore, so sneaking it was.

Then what did he do once he got inside? He supposed he'd have to find Kaya and ask her if she'd seen Usopp. If Usopp was in Kaya's house, either Kaya was hiding him from Mr. Krahadore, or Mr. Krahadore was hiding him from Kaya. The only chance that the latter was true would be if Usopp had been telling the truth about Mr. Krahadore being out to kill him, so Sanji struck that one down at once. If Kaya was hiding Usopp, Sanji would have to talk Kaya into letting him know where Usopp was hidden, and then taking him there.

So sneaking into the mansion to find Kaya and talk her into helping him before she screamed was his plan.

Sanji sighed and ran a hand over his face. This would have been so much easier if Kaya had ever been to the Baratie. Sanji had no clue what she looked or acted like. Of course, he had heard from Usopp that she was pretty blonde who was skinny and frail (though according to Usopp, she was getting stronger and more beautiful everyday), and was "nicer than anyone in the world." Sanji was beginning to wish that he had a reference from someone who _wasn't_ in love with the girl in question.

Plan established, Sanji started towards Kaya's house. Then he realized that he was attempting to enter through the front gate. That probably wouldn't qualify and sneaking, and he'd probably be caught before he had a chance to get into the manor, let alone find Kaya.

Turning on his heel, Sanji muttered to himself as he stomped back down Syrup Street. He took a left on Drum Street, and where it ended on Rogue Street he took another left, heading straight back towards the front gates of W. G. Institute. Now he thought about it, it was almost 8—the gates closed at 8, and did not open again until 6 in the morning.

Sanji sighed and shook his head. It wasn't as though he lived in the Institute. Besides, he could always scale the wall if he had to.

Usopp had rambled enough about Kaya that Sanji knew precisely the best way to get in. Usopp didn't often use this route, because he claimed that if someone was watching him, he liked to keep the best route open for emergencies. Well, Sanji deemed this an emergency, and he was going to plunge into there no matter what anyone said.

He kept to the left side of Rogue Street. It was lined with stores—most closed now—and acted as though he was heading for W. G. Institute. But just as he reached the gate, he took a quick look to make sure that no one was watching, and then slipped sideways into the crack between the first shop on Rogue and the horrible, incomprehensible wall that surrounded W. G. Institute.

Sanji edged his way by the shop until he game out into a small open area; there was a wall, not quite as high or thick as the one surrounding W. G. Institute, extending perpendicularly from the Institute's wall.

This was the wall that surrounded Kaya's property, which Mr. Krahadore had put up to protect his weak charge.

It took Sanji no more than a few seconds to scale the wall, leap down on the other side, both wonder at and be grateful for the unnatural amount of footprints throughout the area, and duck into some evergreen bushes upon registering someone's presence.

Two men were talking, and in whispers. Sanji edged his way along the wall, determined not to be found. He was starting to feel rather foolish. Honestly, if he were caught, what would happen to his reputation? He'd be called a peeping tom! Worse, Sanji had no clue what he was supposed to do. How was he to know that Usopp was even here? Say Usopp wasa, what then? Usopp would be here to enjoy pleasant time with Kaya. What right did Sanji have to interfere?

Sanji was beginning to find himself baffled by his own actions. It wasn't as though Usopp were in danger…so why was he acting like it? But once Sanji registered his subconscious belief that Usopp was in dange,r it flared far more than it had before.

Sanji gave a silent sigh of resignation. Weird instincts. But he'd learned to trust them, and they had been faithful to him all his life; why would they stop now?

Creeping towards the two conversing men, Sanji tried to pick up some of their conversation.

"…To think about it!"

"Nah, we'll be fine. You know, under the pre-"

"Shh! Do you realize what you almost said?"

"Oops."

"No! Not oops! A slip like that could lose you your-"

"Shh! A slip like that's just as bad!"

There was silence for a while. Then the conversation struck up again.

"So, how's the sun been today?"

"Oh, great. You know, not all that warm, but not bad. Behind thin clouds most of the time, so it was bright but not blinding. Perfect day."

"Yeah, and the clouds in the sky are just right."

"And the wind's nice."

"Yeah. Not too strong at all."

"But the breeze feels good."

"Sure does."

Sanji chose to interpret this ensuing conversation as a "we-can't-trust-ourselves-not-to-say-anything-we're-not-supposed-to-even-though-no-one's-listening-so-we're-just-going-to-talk-about-the-most-boring-thing-in-the-world" type of conversation. Indeed, that was what it was. However, over the course of the conversation, the two men did not move far from his hiding spot, and Sanji found that he had no chance to leave the bushes.

Sighing silently, he carefully leaned back onto the ground beneath the bushes: it was far more comfortable than lying propped up on his elbow. It appeared that he would be here a while, so he figured that he may as well make himself comfortable. The snow melting and seeping into his pants wasn't pleasant, but once he dug himself a small hole through the snow to the ground—hopefully invisible from outside the bushes—there was a lot less snow and it was significantly more bearable.

Sanji tuned in to the guards' conversation every now and again, waiting for something of any significance to be said, or for them to move away.

But the snippets of conversation that focused mainlyon the weather and halted abruptly when one guard nearly said something of importance and the other stopped him were of no interest to Sanji.

"…New version of Cinderella, did you hear? Yeah, apparently they'll make a movie to go along with it."

"Only you would be so fascinated by another retelling of Cinderella."

"Hey, it's a great story! I always…"

"…The last elections? God, I thought we'd lose! Mr. Knight came so close!"

"I know. And after that scandal! Hell, President Knight resigned after five months in office! Geez, don't these people have a clue?"

"Apparently not. But Mr. President won in the end, so that's all good."

"Well, obviously. If he hadn't, we'd…"

"…To Zero."

"No, I don't think so. I'm going to One."

"There's always Two. Someone's got to keep an eye on Two."

This conversation made Sanji perk up. It appeared that they were talking about locations in code. Regardless of _where_ these locations were, it didn't matter to him. He just wanted them to leave so that he could regain freedom of movement.

"You remember what we heard on Sunday?"

"About Wednesday?"

"Yeah."

"I probably ought to go check up on Nine, then."

"Good call. Should I go to Zero?"

"Nah, you stay here."

Sanji's heart sank as one pair of footsteps departed, but the rustle of the grass told him that the other guard had remained and was shuffling his feet. At this rate, it didn't look like Sanji would be getting out at any point in time that day. He thanked any listening deity that he had had the sense to wear a thick coat, hat and mittens before coming out, because otherwise this stay in the bushes could have been fatal.

When his eyelids began to droop and his discomfort began to seem like a distant thing from a dream, Sanji fought it. It was not smart to sleep in the cold, and above all, it was not wise to sleep when trespassing on forbidden territory. But he had nowhere to go, no way to move without giving away his location, and no way to check on the guard to make sure that the man was not looking his way.

Before Sanji drifted off, his last thoughts were curses directed at himself. Why had he come when he knew that Usopp was perfectly fine? He was just here to tell the boy off for making him worry; that could have waited until tomorrow. It wasn't like this was dangerous territory or anything (past the wrath of a protective, angry guardian, at least), so Sanji couldn't exactly charge the guard down.

Why the _crap_ had he decided to do this?

But the next moment (or it could have been the next hour—Sanji couldn't really tell the difference), Sanji was jolted from his sleep when his hand touched something beneath the snow to his left, where the bushes thickened too much for him to lie beneath them. He carefully shoved the snow aside and discovered…a trapdoor.

Sanji contemplated this for a mere moment before opening the door and plunging in.

* * *

"Captain?" Kebbi sounded rather worried, Luffy noticed. Why? "Are you feeling all right?"

Luffy stared at Kebbi and replied that yes, of course he felt fine. He'd had meat and all sorts of other food, so how could he not?

"But you've been a little…distracted these past few days, Cap'n," Anjou pointed out. "Maybe we should call practice over early today."

Luffy was scandalized. "We never end practice early!" With this one line, he made sure that the others knew that this was not to be questioned.

"Well, yeah, but-" Helmeppo was the only one to protest, but even he snapped his mouth shut when Coby elbowed him in the ribs.

Practice that day did not go as well as it had on every other day. No matter what Luffy said, he was distracted, and it was affecting his performance. Without their captain's enthusiasm, the rest of the team (most of whom were usually grumbling that they didn't want to be in the team in the first place, but seemed to enjoy it anyway) was quiet and not quite as enthusiastic as usual either.

Granted, there being snow outside, practice currently consisted of jogging and passing the ball in the gym. Still, this was usually a loud, rowdy group during their practice.

"Honestly, if you keep up at this rate, you'll go down just like all the others."

Luffy spun around at the voice behind him.

"Ace!" Luffy chirped, running over to hug the boy. The other baseball team members' eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Luffy hadn't really seemed like the… _hugging_ type. Let alone the hugging-popular-college-seniors type.

"You know him?" asked Farafura. He sounded only mildly interested.

"This is my big brother," Luffy announced cheerfully. "He's in the college sect."

"We know," Coby said, sounding rather faint with shock. " _Everyone_ knows. Luffy, didn't you know that Ace is really, really popular? I mean, he's got girls asking him out from every which way, and-" Coby cut himself off, staring at Ace as though he had only just realized what he was saying in front of whom. Coby turned as red as a tomato, and looked ready to crawl into a hole.

But Ace just laughed it off. "So they say," he grinned at Coby, and Coby decided then and there that Ace Portgas was his role model. Then Ace turned back to his little brother. "Luffy, you can't be seriously planning to take us on like this. You're a better player than that, and I'll bet your team members are better than they were playing just now, too."

Luffy opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. The others exchanged looks.

"He's been sort of distracted these past few days," Nat offered timidly, shooting Luffy an apologetic look.

"Ah." While Ace's voice suggested that he had understood, his expression—a frown as he looked at Luffy—suggested otherwise. "Why don't you call practice off for today, then? I've got something personal to discuss with Luffy anyway."

And that was how for the first time, the not-quite-official high school baseball team's practice ended a full hour early.

Ace led Luffy off campus, out of Fuchsia, and they just walked together through the mountains like they had since they were children.

"It's been a while since we've walked together like this," Ace commented.

"Yeah," Luffy smiled. "You've been busy and I've been busy, and…" Luffy sighed. "You spend your spare time with Kai, and I have Zoro and Nami. Well, I had Zoro and Nami."

Luffy was about as close to a state of depression as a person of Luffy's temperament could get, and Ace didn't like it. Ace didn't like it one bit.

"Tell me about Zoro and Nami. I've heard rumors of your little group, but like you said, I haven't had any time to see them for myself."

"Well, Zoro's always getting lost. And he's fun—he wrestles bears and plays with swords and is really funny. Nami's smart and harsh, but really she's really nice and does anything she feels like me and Zoro need."

Ace waited, but there was no more. _Well,_ thought Ace wryly, _looks like he's not talking much either._ Which, of course, meant that Ace would have to drag the information out of him.

"So…you started the gang, then?"

"Sort of. No one likes calling it a gang, though. Zoro wanted it to be called a…secret sosity or something."

"Society. Secret society. And yeah, I suppose that's what it would seem like at first."

"It's fun, though! I learn how to do my classes, and we have fun, and we're always together…" Luffy trailed off, but Ace seized the chance.

"You haven't been together lately. What happened?" Luffy didn't reply. Actually, it seemed more like he didn't know _how_ to reply. "Did you have a fight?"

Luffy had to think about that a moment.

"Sort of. Zoro and Nami don't want to hear about Usopp anymore."

"Usopp? As in, Usopp Soge King?"

"His middle name's 'Soge'?"

"Yes, and I take it that your answer's the same. Well…" Ace thought over what he was about to say for a moment before he actually turned to Luffy. "Luffy, you do remember _why_ you're making this gang in the first place, right?"

"I know!" Luffy huffed, crossing his arms. "That was rude!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." Ace waved a hand vaguely at Luffy with a sigh. "So, you're actually planning to recruit the Liar?"

"He doesn't always lie, and his stories are fun, even when they're not true," Luffy huffed.

"Luffy," Ace said in amusement, "The stories are never true."

"They are sometimes," Luffy insisted.

"Right."

"Really! Like, there was this one time when he was telling the story of a huge fish he caught on the coast in homeroom-"

"He's never _been_ to the coast. He comes from inland, and he never travels. He's terrified to leave the boundaries of Fuchsia."

"Well," Luffy went on defensively, "He also told me about how Miss Nico married Sir Crocodile."

"What? Miss Nico and Sir Crocodile are married?" Ace couldn't have looked more shocked. Luffy furrowed his brows. Why was Ace so surprised? "But Sir Crocodile is… And Miss Nico's…"

But suddenly so many pieces were clicking together in Ace's mind that he really couldn't deny it, words of the Liar or not. Even the Liar could be right every once in a while, he supposed. It baffled him why Luffy seemed so supremely unconcerned by the matter. But then again, on the other hand, Luffy was Luffy, and it would be just plain weird if he appeared to share Ace's opinion on a teacher whom he had only known for a few weeks. Then Luffy adopted a thoughtful expression, and Ace wondered with surprise whether Luffy was about to talk sense.

"No, wait. Actually, I think I heard that from some random people in the library."

Ace gave a sigh of exasperation and waved his hand. "Luffy, I don't care where you heard it. But you ought to know that even if the Liar did say something that turned out to be true once or twice, it was probably sheer coincidence."

"But Ace, see, this morning he was talking about Mr. Krahadore, and saying that his real name was Kuro-"

"Now, you know that's rubbish. Not many people are nicer than Mr. Krahadore." Ace thought of all the trouble Mr. Krahadore always went through to help the people around him, and wondered how Luffy could possibly believe that. Then he remembered that-

"I don't like him."

"No," Ace smiled wryly, "I don't think you ever did, did you? But just because you don't like him doesn't mean that-"

"He's Kuro. I know he is."

Ace contemplated asking Luffy why he was so sure, but was certain that that question would mean either utter disaster or utter confusion for himself.

"Okay, then. _If_ Mr. Krahadore _is_ Kuro-"

"He is, and he's killing us all tonight." Ace stared at Luffy.

"Right. Luffy, I think you need a nap."

"You don't believe me." Luffy's voice made Ace stop in his tracks and turn to look at his little brother. Luffy was standing still as well, and looking at Ace with a dark look that really didn't suit him and made Ace wonder why he was trying to argue with Luffy in the first place. But it didn't take long for Ace to recall the subject at hand, and he shook off the instinct to give up the argument because he could never change Luffy's mind when he was like this anyway.

"Look," Ace said, taking Luffy by the shoulders. "Think back. What's Mr. Krahadore ever done to warrent your dislike, or even distrust? He's been nothing but kind to us. He even offered us a home when he thought we were orphans, remember?"

"He doesn't know anything. He doesn't understand. I don't trust him." Luffy's answer was bleak; flat. It didn't even sound like Luffy.

"What makes you say that?" Ace sighed. If Luffy was going to be so adamant, he may as well listen to his side of the story.

But, of course, Luffy was Luffy, no matter how he acted. When Ace got the answer, "I just know," he could only sigh again and admonish himself for expecting a logical answer.

They had come out to a clearing very familiar to both of them. It was, in fact, more 'cliff' than 'clearing.' The trees came to an end and left just a slight amount of grass before the ground shot down at a right angle straight to the ground. Honestly, while Ace and Luffy were fond of the outdoors, they were not, precisely, fond of nature. As young children, they had run through these mountains and found for themselves the "wonders of nature" that seemed to hold no more wonder than the rest of the world. Views of towering cliffs, tottering trees, extensive forests, gleaming mountain peaks of snow, shimmering hills of ice, squawking flocks of birds, and other such things were no more extraordinary to them than the crooked old tree that grew in front of Makino's house. In fact, the crooked little old tree was more extraordinary to them than these views that people traveled miles to see, because the tree to them had a special significance. The views were very beautiful, indeed, but they were no more of a marvel than the large buildings that they saw in Boston when they went there twice a year.

Having grown up in a world where nature and large cities were perfectly natural and nothing extraordinary, Ace and Luffy had found that their favorite aspect of the world was the little things that were always changing. A bear ambling through the trees was no more special to them than a squirrel darting up a tree trunk, but if they caught a glimpse of a parrot (though those were generally former pets of someone from Fuchsia or W. G. Institute), or maybe a hawk or an eagle, they were enthralled. It was exciting to find garbage in the woods, because no one came up here but hikers and people from Fuchsia. People from Fuchsia would never dare leave garbage lying around for terror of the shrewd, grouchy Mayor Whoop Slap, who had an uncanny way of knowing whenever someone from the village or Institute had littered. So if the Mayor didn't display any sign of attempting to murder a villager in the near future, the local residents could safely assume that it was the doing of a hiker. Which made it even more interesting, because then whenever Mr. Fall brought a pumpkin poacher, a.k.a. a hiker, through the village for the next week, all locals had full permission of the Mayor to drill the hiker about littering and safety of the environment, just so long as the hiker was not physically harmed. Emotional harm was acceptable, but only if he or she admitted to littering.

Oddly enough, however, very few locals were fascinated by large cities. In a village so isolated and so small, it would be logical to assume that most, if not all, locals were unacquainted with the hustle and bustle and general noisiness and largeness of cities. However, most locals had spent some large part of their lives in cities before moving to this small town. Those who had been in Fuchsia for a generation or two (no one was really all that sure how far back the history of Fuchsia went, but they assumed that it was two or three generations) had the practice of leaving Fuchsia for a city once every summer and every winter (once every spring and once every autumn for a select number of eccentric people, and a random number of undecided times a year for those few who were particularly eccentric). It was not, precisely, that the village could not provide for everyone. Mr. Fall's crops did exceedingly well, and though officially he ran the absurdly large fields on his own, in actuality, he was regularly helped out by the agriculture majors and enthusiasts from the Institute, as well as any number of random people who randomly decided that they wanted to help out on the farm on that particular day, week, month, year, or any other period of time that spontaneously occurred to them. So the villagers could have easily lived without leaving the village so often. But it had become the local culture to seek information of the world around them, and know that world so that they could function should they ever decide to leave Fuchsia. No one delivered mail up this far, so they also went to select cities where they kept large mailboxes, and picked up their mail only twice a year.

This is why the beautiful view of mountains, lakes, birds, clouds, and general beauty of nature that one could see from this particular cliff was of very little interest to both Ace and Luffy. They saw it often, and it was nothing special to admire every time they saw it. Yet they came to this cliff to admire the view. It was their special place, where they had used to come and sit and talk since they were little boys; they would talk and watch the world beneath them.

For this cliff looked straight down on Fuchsia. Watching from almost directly above, Luffy and Ace could watch people walk down streets, enter their houses, leave their houses, and sometimes they could even see people leaning out of their windows. The cliff was not so high that it was exceptionally difficult to see the people below; however, it was also not so low that it was particularly easy for the people of Fuchsia to spot them from below. Since both boys had good eyesight and the majority of Fuchsians were eccentric enough that one could identify them simply by the way they walked, Luffy and Ace had never had any problem recognizing people from above. They had spent many a day sitting here on this cliff, looking down at the village, watching, and laughing at their friends and neighbors.

That was what they did now—only neither felt much like laughing. They just looked straight down at Fuschia Village and W. G. Institute, and observed in silence. They were well acquainted with the view of the village from this perspective, so they could send their gaze over the village and pick up particularly large abnormalities within a few minutes.

There were three today, and each saw all three and knew with a single glance that the other did as well. The first abnormality was a not-quite-white figure at the far end of the pumpkin patch by the wall of W. G. Institute: one of the less intelligent pumpkin poachers, by the look of it. At least there weren't any pumpkins to poach at this time of year. The only danger was that he would stomp over the carefully tended ground concealed beneath the snow. But that wasn't a problem—even as they watched, a grey-clad figure marched along the edge of the flat field of pure white with a rake. Mr. Fall would stop the ruin of his farm easily.

The second abnormality was that a few of the faculty houses, directly below the cliff, were now invisible—or not quite at this time of year, but still well obscured—to Ace and Luffy. View from above was neatly obstructed by tree branches. No one, absolutely _no one_ grew that many trees; particularly so many people in the same line of houses. Obviously, someone had figured out that people could look down on the gardens from above and spread the word. But Luffy and Ace had never exactly been interested in the faculty housing, so that was not a problem either. The only thing that they both found mildly unnerving was that Makino and Shanks' house was the best concealed of all.

"Well," Ace muttered, almost to himself, "Now we know why Makino suddenly had to order all those full-grown oak trees. I wonder what she's got to hide in the garden?"

Luffy just hummed vaguely in reply. He was more focused on the third abnormality: there were far, far more people in the usual guards' uniform standing around the big mansion than usual. It was on the plot of land that was last on the fanciest side of Syrup Street, right beside the wall that circled W. G. Institute (Luffy thought that he could vaguely recall Zoro saying something about the girl living there having the same name as the street, and Nami saying something about how the street had come to be named after that mansion, but he wasn't all that interested and didn't feel much like thinking about the two of them at that particular moment, so he forgot about it). Usually, there was one pair of guards by the gate, and perhaps one or two by the wall beside W. G. Institute. However, there were now guards standing all around the grounds as though they expected something horrible to happen…and yet Luffy could tell from their body language that they were neither nervous nor scared. Had the girl who lived there suddenly become scared of something? Or were they all there for Mr. Krahadore, or Kuro?

"Luffy," said Ace. Luffy looked up. Ace was glaring warningly at Luffy. "I know what you're thinking. Mr. Krahadore is _not trying to kill us all_. Okay?"

Luffy did not deign to reply. He was well aware that Ace was treating him like a child, but there was nothing he could say. In Ace's mind, Luffy realized, he _was_ acting like a child. So the only way he would ever be able to convince Ace that he was telling the truth would be if Ace saw or heard something that made him figure out for himself that Mr. Kuradore was trying to take over the world. On his own, Luffy was supremely helpless to change Ace's mind.

What could he do? He could suggest that they sit there and watch the house until something weird happened, but if Mr. Kurodore was going to kill them all that night, then they wouldn't see anything that would change Ace's mind until it was too late.

Maybe he could somehow convince Zoro and Nami to come with him…

Hey, what was that yellow stuff in the bushes? It was so small it was barely visible, but once he caught sight of it, Luffy couldn't understand how he'd missed that speck of yellow among the bushes, right by two guards outside the mansion.

"Hey, Ace, see that?"

Ace looked curiously at Luffy, and then back down at the village. He tried to gauge what Luffy was pointing to, but—

"Luffy, I'm sorry, but you'll have to define 'that.' All I can tell is that you're pointing vaguely at the village."

Luffy glared. "I'm trying to be serious."

"Great! Keep trying, and let me know when you succeed. I'm guessing it'll take a couple decades, so I'll just take a vacation in the meantime, shall I?"

"Ace! The yellow in the bushes! In the mansion!"

"You mean Kaya Syrup's place?" Ace sounded genuinely baffled as he stared down at the place. Luffy just couldn't understand it. Ace's eyes were practically better than Luffy's. Why couldn't he see the yellow?

But when Luffy looked back at the bush to contemplate it, the yellow had vanished.

* * *

"Kaya!" There was no reply. "Kaya! It's Usopp! Kaya!" Still no reply. " _Kaya!_ "

Maybe Kuro had been bluffing about Kaya's room being directly above this cellar. It was more than likely. Still, when Usopp considered what he knew about the location of this place—it was underground, accessible by some sort of passageway that didn't go through the village or the school and so probably on the edge of the house—and the location of Kaya's room—at the side of the house that faced the gardens on the ground floor so that she could have lots of fresh air and didn't have to climb the stairs when she was feeling particularly sick—it was more than likely that Kaya's room was somewhere nearby.

"Kaya! Please, answer me Kaya!"

Usopp tried his best not to consider the possibility that Kuro had put him as far away from Kaya's room as he could, under the deserted servants' quarters or somewhere else where Kaya never went, or that he had been lying all along and the cellar was not even anywhere _near_ the village, and Kuro was just finding sick pleasure in making Usopp try desperately to save a person who wasn't there.

"Kaya! Can you hear me? Kaya! Kaya! _Kaya!_ Kaya!"

But then Usopp was distracted by a thump…which was closely followed by a clatter and someone's heavy sigh.

Usopp's heart leapt in his chest. He vaguely wondered if this was what it was like to have a heart attack as he shuffled backwards as quietly as he could, hoping that his ears weren't deceiving him and he was, indeed, backing _away_ from the source of the noise. The thought that in this darkness he could quite possibly be heading _towards_ it was too terrifying for Usopp to bear, so he told himself that it never occurred to him, and never would.

If there was one thing Usopp was good at, it was lying. Even to himself, when he needed to.

There was another clutter directly behind Usopp. Yelping like a dog with its tail on fire, Usopp sprang forwards, away from the sound, only to trip over some object invisible in the darkness and land sprawling on his face. With his hands bound behind him, it was inevitably his rather long nose that took the blow, and Usopp wondered if he'd finally broken it this time. More importantly, though, he wondered if the evil invisible creature had heard him and was coming to eat him.

"Usopp? Is that you? Is Kaya with you?"

Usopp had never felt more relieved. He recognized that voice, and it was the one person besides Kaya that Usopp knew with absolute, unwavering certainty could not _possibly_ be in league with Kuro…

"Sanji!"

"Ah. Yeah, I figured that if anyone was screaming Kaya's name like that, it'd be you."

Usopp wasn't listening. "Damn it, Sanji, where are you? How'd you figure out I was here?"

"I figured you'd either be at the orphanage, Kureha's, or here. When I didn't find you at either of the first places, I thought I'd just check…but you know, don't know why I did. Sorry to bother you. I'll be leaving now. You couldn't possibly point me to the exit, could you?"

"Wait, what? You're just leaving?" Usopp couldn't believe it. Sanji, his only real friend…was deserting him? In this horrible dark, dusty, terrifying basement?

"Like I said, sorry to bother you. You can have a free dessert at the Baratie tomorrow with my apologies, and I'll guarantee Miss Kaya ten free meals if she ever has the urge to stop by. Miss Kaya, I'm very sorry to disturb you."

O…kay. Usopp was starting to get the feeling that either Sanji had lost his mind in the past few days, or the two of them had entirely different ideas as to the current situation.

"Sanji, Kaya isn't here."

"I know, I- Wait, what? How can she not be there? Then what are you doing here? No, screw that—what were you _doing?_ "

Usopp blinked in the darkness and wished he could see Sanji, because he would have _loved_ to give him that 'you-are-a-total-moron-and-right-now-I-cannot-believe-I-even-know-you' look that Sanji gave him so often during Usopp's stories.

"I was standing here," said Usopp very slowly, like he was speaking to a child, "Screaming for Kaya. I am currently staring at the general direction in which I assume you are located, giving you that 'you-are-a-total-moron-and-right-now-I-cannot-believe-I-even-know-you' look that you give me all the time. What did you _think_ I was doing?"

"Well," Sanji snapped defensively, "What with you screaming Kaya's name with that, 'I-need-you-now' tone of voice, what else what I supposed to think?"

"It was not an 'I-need-you-now' tone, it was an 'answer-me-now-before-the-lunatic-killer-on-the-loose-murders-you' tone. And that doesn't tell me what…" Usopp's voice trailed off as it suddenly, with vivid clarity, struck him that he knew _exactly_ what Sanji had thought. "My _god!_ "

Sanji winced in the darkness. He had never heard Usopp speak with such disgust.

"Sanji, I knew you didn't exactly have a pure mind and heart that thought no wrong of others and all that, but I'm your _friend!_ How could you think I'd…? And with Kaya…! I mean, she's…sick! No, that's not the point. The point is she's not…that's not… Ugh!"

If Usopp could have thrown his hands up into the air and stomped away, he would have. Unfortunately, his hands' movement was rather restricted, and he was still on the ground where he had fallen over the unnamed invisible item, so he could not possibly stomp away quite yet. Even if he could, he wouldn't—he'd learned his lesson about stomping or running around in the darkness where obstacles are invisible after _one_ fall, thank you very much.

Sanji decided that it was about time he averted attention from his own grievous mistake to Usopp's…strange position.

"Right. So, now that we've established that you're not doing that and Kaya's not here, _what_ are you doing here?"

"Do I _sound_ like I want to be here?" Usopp snapped. Maybe Sanji should have spoken with a little less accusation and a bit of humility in his tone. "I'd like very much to get out of here, you know."

"Then leave! If Kaya's not here, this is trespassing, you know."

"I would leave if I could, damn it! I'm trying so fucking hard to get out of here, I don't need this from you, who obviously decided to trespass on private property of your own free will just because you thought I was doing… _things_ with Kaya!"

Wowww… Now, that was going a bit overboard. "That's not why I came!"

"Then why?"

There was a pause. A rather long pause, and Usopp began to wonder if Sanji had just abandoned him to these nightmare dungeons.

"As a matter of fact, I've been asking myself that very question since I ducked into the bushes to hide from the guards."

"Guards? Bushes? The bushes are around back, and the guards are around front!"

"Not today they aren't. Apparently Mr. Krahadore decided he needed extra protection. Probably has to do with that story you were trying to spread around today. Really, Usopp, I thought you had more sense than-"

"Damn it! Why do you all think I'm lying?"

"You're kind of known as The Liar, remember?"

"My lies are harmless! I don't tell this kind of fucking lie, damn it! I would've thought that and Kaya would believe me at least, but no, you two come down on me harder than ever! I mean, I can understand Kaya, Kuro's been pretending to act like a fucking father, but you! You-"

"You never swear like this."

"Stop fucking interrupting, damn crap chef!"

To both of their surprise, Sanji shut his mouth and said nothing. Usopp was breathing heavily, and Sanji could hear it. Gradually, Usopp began to breathe deeply, and soon Sanji could no longer hear the heavy puffs of breath. Still, he judged it best that he remain silent for now.

"Sanji. Look. Whether you believe me or not, Krahadore's name is Kuro. He's some sort of…psycho, and he wants to kill Kaya and…well, not all of the village. I was exaggerating. But he wants to kill some select people, and from what I gather, it'll be the vast majority of Fuchsia and the Institute. I don't know why, but I wasn't really lying when I said he wanted to take over the world—somehow, this is something that's even bigger than America. He said…" But Usopp couldn't say it. He trailed off into silence, and hoped with all his might that Sanji wouldn't react with incredulity, because he really couldn't handle that right now.

"I'll ask you one more time. What are you doing down here?" For a moment, Usopp stared incredulously into the darkness. Was Sanji listening to _anything?_ Then the sincere, solemn tone sank in, and Usopp snapped his mouth shut. He furrowed his brow and swallowed a few times.

"I've been sitting here for ages," Usopp replied once he was sure he could keep his voice steady. "I have no idea where I am or what's around me, because it's pitch black. My arms are bound behind me, and when I trip over something, I go falling face forward. I've been trying, and trying, and _trying_ so hard to get someone to notice but no matter how much I scream no one can hear me. I know that there's an approaching disaster, and I can't do a thing to stop it. Sanji-"

"We need to get you out of there."

Usopp thought he would sob with relief and gratitude and affection for Sanji.


	6. Chopper T. Tony

"No. No. You're lying."

"Why would I be? What have I got to gain by lying here?" Damn Sanji and his logic.

"How should I know?" Usopp couldn't keep the sulkiness from his voice. "Maybe you're secretly this maniacal sadist who's out to kill us all!"

There was a pause. Then an annoyed voice said, "Would you like me to just leave and never mention to anyone that you're trapped down here? Because with a solid metal wall between us, there's not much else I can do but get help anyway."

"No!" Suddenly Usopp's voice was timid, squeaky, and had he been anyone but Usopp, Sanji would have referred to the tone as 'pathetic.' "Don't leave me! Sanji, don't leave me alone down here!"

"Coward," Sanji muttered so that Usopp could hear him. "What would Miss Kaya say?"

"Kaya!" gasped Usopp. "Sanji, you've got to go save her!"

"I'm sure that would go down well," sighed Sanji in annoyance. "Hello Miss Kaya, I'm just here because Usopp's currently locked up in what appears to be a metal cell beneath your manor, and your most trusted guardian wants to kill you, so I'm just going to have to ask you to leave with me now. Yes, Usopp, I'm sure she'd listen. Why wouldn't she?"

"Then- then abduct her! Before Krahadore does!"

"Right. And have to deal with Mr. Gen? No thanks."

"You're not taking this seriously at all! I _told_ you that this is _big!_ _Serious!_ Really, really serious! It's about the _world!_ Kuro's going to-"

"Just a minute, Usopp—please, think about what you're saying. How is an insignificant caretaker supposed to take over the world, let alone the _country_ from this tiny little village that most people don't even know about?"

"I don't know, but he's going to do it, I know he is!"

Usopp heard Sanji sigh on the other side of the wall. There was a moment of silence.

"He'd have to be in a conspiracy or something in order actually do that," Usopp heard Sanji sigh on the other side of the metal wall. Usopp was just ready with a sharp retort when Sanji's voice went on. "There must be a place in this wall that's open—maybe not particularly big, not even big enough for you to get out through, but maybe big enough for me to unbind your hands for you."

Usopp wasn't sure what to think, let alone what to say. So he settled for the first coherent thought that came to his mind. "How d'you figure that?"

He could _hear_ Sanji rolling his eyes. "Because we can hear each other. What kind of metal wall is this non-sound-proof, unless there's some sort of opening somewhere?"

"You still haven't explained how you figure that the wall's metal," Usopp pointed out.

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"I said I couldn't even dent it—means it's probably made of steel or something, don't you think?"

"But I bumped into it earlier—it felt like rock."

"The rock shattered when I kicked it—there's something smooth under the rock."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. So there's got to be some sort of opening. So look for it."

"But I-"

"You're bound, I know, but you can help anyway. Turn backwards and try, anyhow."

"But-"

"Any excuses, and Miss Kaya will hear in great detail about the cowardliness of Usopp the 'hero.'"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes. I can embellish as much as you can—and I'm not above using embellishments to discredit you."

Usopp made a sound that was so close to a growl that Sanji almost jumped. He sighed and resumed feeling his way along the wall for some sort of exit. But as he made his way across the corridor and then back again, feeling a straight line each time at different heights, it occurred to him that maybe this wouldn't quite work. If only they had some sort of light source…

Of course! There was his lighter in his jacket!

"Usopp!" he called excitedly as he took his lighter from his pocket. "I've got a lighter—I'm going to light it, so tell me where you see the light!"

There was a mumble of assent on the other side of the wall, and Sanji lit the lighter. He looked along the wall, but saw nothing.

"When are you turning on the lighter?" Usopp called after a moment, and Sanji snapped, "It's on, moron," but felt his heart fall because his assumption had been wrong.

Then Sanji chanced a glance upward and noticed a grating in the wall so high up that its top edge ran along the ceiling.

"Wait, I think I found something," he called.

"A magical steel-breaking device?" Usopp suggested hopefully.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "No. A grating. Near the ceiling. I think it might lead to the room you're in, so I'll try crawling through it.

"I thought you said it was in the ceiling."

"Near and the ceiling isn't high in here."

"Oh, don't be absurd. The ceiling's plenty high…" But Sanji had already yanked away the grating (he had a feeling he'd chipped it somehow in the process) and was feeling around for a foothold.

He found one, and hoisted himself up with his hands on the ledge and one foot on the foothold he had found. He managed to fit himself in the duct if he made himself almost completely flat, but that lost him most of the leverage he had for movement. He pushed himself along the air duct with his arms and little movements of his feet and ankles. He heard Usopp calling through the duct, and took this as an indication that he was going in the right direction, but he lacked the ability to concentrate on movement and talk at the same time.

Oddly enough, it seemed to slope upwards—which, he thought, might explain why Usopp had been unable to find the grating. He moved along until the tip of his middle finger struck metal; here he was faced with the difficulty of removing the grating: his position did not allow him the leeway to use any strength.

"Usopp!" he called, realizing that his friend's calls had ceased.

There was a pause, and he realized that he must have missed some branching of the duct, and had come the wrong way.

Then, "Yeah?" came Usopp's voice, and it was so close that Sanji suddenly realized that until then, Usopp's voice had actually been rather faint with the distance.

"Can you tell where I am?"

He heard cautious movements approaching. "I'm here," he said at almost random intervals just to be sure that Usopp had something to go on to find him. The footsteps got closer; every time he heard what sounded like a step in the wrong direction, Sanji gave another, "This way."

The steps got closer and closer until Sanji thought that they couldn't possibly come any closer, yet they continued to approach. And when Usopp stepped right in front of him, he suddenly understood that this grating was insanely close to the floor, and when he called, "Down herme!" he heard Usopp stop, comment, "Down? I thought you said up," and begin to kick the wall. It took a few kicks for Sanji to realize that Usopp was going the wrong way, but when he did, he shouted so and heard Usopp begin to reverse his direction.

"There!" he said when he heard Usopp's kick strike an area below the grating. "A little higher."

And—perhaps it was the frustration of having been held captive for so long, anxiously hoping that Kaya would not be murdered—he kicked in the grating with a ferocity Sanji had not known him to possess. Sanji swore as it struck him in the face and cursed his lack of foresight as well as his position—why had he been looking up anyway, when he couldn't see a thing?

"Sorry," said Usopp, but his own shock left little room for apology in his tone.

"You certainly don't sound much like it," Sanji growled as he struggled out of the duct, pushing out the grating before him and letting it clang to the floor.

"Sorry," said Usopp, only managing to sound a little bit sorrier.

The duct here was a few inches above the floor, and Sanji let his arms support as he pulled his lower body out of the air duct.

He would have kicked Usopp had the circumstances been different. Instead he groped for his friend in the darkness, yanked him closer by the shoulder and then following his arm down from his shoulder to his hands. Finding something rough bulging above his wrists, Sanji fingered them in search of the knot, and finding it, untied it with a dexterity that surprised Usopp.

Usopp flexed his fingers gratefully, feeling the strange sensation of blood rushing back into them, and then the tingles of renewed circulation in his hands.

"Alright, now back we go. You first."

"But wait," Usopp protested, "What about Kaya?"

"You can worry about getting back into the manor once you get out."

"Hey, hey! Wait a second! What do you-" Usopp was cut off when Sanji grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and stuffed him into the air duct, kicking him further in for good measure before following. It only made him feel a little guilty to hear Usopp yelling as the momentum of Sanji's kick—delivered only on the sole of a foot—sent him sliding down the rest of the duct, finally ending with a dull _thump_ on the other side. Sanji crawled the rest of the way—it was downhill this time, and that made it significantly easier—and cursed his lack of foresight when he came out head first on the other end, and was unable to see the floor.

He improvised by estimating the height of the duct and bracing himself as he kicked himself out, landed on his hands, and let his feet swing gracefully back to the ground…right where Usopp was who could not, of course, see the feet coming. Sanji's feet proved to be carrying more power than any spectator would have imagined, for they sent Usopp toppling over just as he was scrambling up, clutching his head at the pain of the fall out of the duct; this time Usopp cried out as the back of his head hit the wall.

"What, are you trying to _kill_ me?" he demanded once he caught his breath.

Sanji, who had not exactly witnessed Usopp's troubles due to the darkness, was highly unrepentant. "Oh, stop whining. I didn't hit you that hard."

Usopp muttered something under his breath that Sanji assumed to be an insult, and he considered throwing a kick before deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble when he had no idea where the other boy was.

"So," said Usopp, "about Kaya-"

"You can go back for her later."

"And how's _that_ going to help anyone? She's going to _die_ , Sanji! This isn't a game."

Though Sanji could not see his friend's face—or perhaps because of that—the earnestness in Usopp's tone permeated his mind with sympathy for his friend.

"Fine; but how do you expect us to-"

There was a crash and light appeared in the ceiling, and they both spun around.

It was a boy with a straw hat, and Usopp recognized him at once; it took Sanji a few moments to recognize one of the two boys that were newly under Miss Nami's watch.

"Luffy?"

"Oh, hey Usopp!" Luffy responded as casually as anything.

"How did you find that trap door?" Sanji asked, recognizing the place in the ceiling that Luffy had fallen through as the trap door that he himself had made use of.

"Ace and me were up there"-Luffy made a vague upward gesture-"and I saw your hair in the bushes, then they vanished. So I thought I'd look."

"Up where? Why were you watching this house?" Usopp asked at the same time as Sanji asked, "How did you manage to get into the yard?"

Then, worried that attempting to answer three questions at once would cause this simple young mind to short circuit, Sanji said, "Forget it. Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"I thought you might be looking for Usopp. But you already found him, I guess, so I'll just-"

The trap door slammed close by some unknown means, and they all blinked in surprise at the sudden darkness.

"Well," Usopp finally commented, "I see that I've awed you with my super-psychokinetic powers."

Sanji rolled his eyes.

"You're a super psycho?" Luffy asked, awed. "Cool! I've never had an insane friend before!"

Sanji could _hear_ Usopp blink. "But I thought… But you said-"

Sanji's curiosity was piqued, but he was not to learn what Luffy had said, because the boy had apparently lost interest in listening to Usopp.

"So, have you saved Kaya yet?"

"Well…no-"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Sanji felt a hand grab his arm, and from the muffled "Oof!" beside him, he gauged that the same had been done to Usopp. Heaven only knew how Luffy knew exactly where to find their arms—unless he had been eyeing them before the trap door closed. But that was a rather creepy thought.

"Where are you going- Oof!" Usopp crashed into the wall with the rest of them.

"Oops!" said Luffy cheerfully. "Guess we're going the other way, then!"

"No!" Sanji pulled Luffy to a halt. "The entrance is right here; but first, tell me what you're going to try to do."

"We've got to find Kaya before Kuro gets her, haven't we?"

"About that-"

"But it's no use going in there," Usopp cut in across Sanji. "There's no way we'd find our way through there, let alone in time. Besides, I don't even know if it leads _into_ the house! We're better off trying to get in from the window."

"Great!" Luffy agreed. "Lead the way!"

"Um, guys…" But Sanji may as well have been speaking sign language for all that the pair heard him. Sanji could already hear the scuffle of Usopp trying to hold Luffy on his shoulders so that Luffy could re-open the trap door. For a moment, Sanji wondered if he ought to wonder about that—his own fingers could brush the ceiling without too much stretching, at any rate—but if the pair wanted to act as though they didn't have a brain between the pair of them, it wasn't any business of his.

"Left," Luffy was ordering, and shortly after, "No, no, no—ow, my head—the _other_ left!" And the shuffling and Usopp's muttered complaints mingled with Luffy's confused directionals until at last Luffy found the trap door and pushed it open.

"Great!" Usopp hissed. "Now get off so I can breathe again." There was, strictly speaking, no need for him to issue this order, since Luffy had leapt off practically as soon as the trap door had opened.

Usopp, on the other hand, had more difficulty in getting out. Sanji was tempted to sit there and watch just for the sake of wondering how the _hell_ a boy barely a few inches shorter than himself should have so much more difficulty climbing up, but since it appeared that he was outvoted on the issue of rescuing Kaya, they didn't have much time to spare.

It only took a well-aimed heel to the back of Usopp's knees to make them buckle, then a kick to the back of his thighs to send him up. Usopp gave cries of pain with each kick, and then again as he landed half in, half out of the trap door, but Sanji paid him no heed as he pulled himself out as well.

"I swear," Usopp hissed, rubbing the backs of his thighs and facing Sanji with death in his eyes. "I am going to _kill_ you one day—and I'll do so by removing your innards a little at a time with a _spoon_."

"Can you _do_ that?" asked a fascinated Luffy.

"Shh!" admonished an irritated Sanji.

"So, which way's Kaya's room?" asked Luffy

"That one, but we ought to have…a plan…or…something…" Usopp trailed off, finally realizing that there was a very small likelihood that Luffy heard a single word she said after he had pointed in the general direction of Kaya's room.

"Don't think that was a very wise thing to do," Sanji muttered.

"What?" demanded Usopp, "Give him directions? He asked!"

Sanji shrugged, but once again, his existence was pushed to the sidelines of meaninglessness as Usopp noticed one rather vital point.

"Hey, Luffy! Wrong window! No, the one to the left, the one to the _left,_ the _window_ to the _left!_ "

Luffy was not one to listen, however, and ripped through the screen door and into the house.

"It's definitely less of a life hazard," Sanji commented, wondering where the guards were, "You've got to give him that."

"That's not the _point_ ," Usopp snapped as they ran across the yard to leap through the wrecks of the screen door and into the manor. "He doesn't even know how to _navigate_ inside the manor!"

"And you do?" asked Sanji sardonically, knowing for a fact that while Usopp had often snuck onto the premises, he had never entered the manor except for a few times when he had hid out in Kaya's room when Krahadore had proved to have particularly horrible timing.

"I'll bet I can do it better than him!"

Now _there_ was something that made Sanji sigh, roll his eyes, and follow Usopp into the manor. Into the mouth of doom, as far as Sanji was concerned.

With Usopp dragging Luffy by the collar, it didn't take long for them to find Kaya's room.

"Oh good—you're still here! Kaya, I was so scared-"

Kaya looked around to stare at them. "Usopp! But how- Wait, is this about…?"

"No time to explain, we've got to get you out of here. Sorry, Kaya, but-"

"Look out!" It was Luffy who threw himself at Usopp and Kaya, sending Usopp flying into Sanji and tumbling over into a pile of limbs with Kaya. But everyone was distracted by the distinctive sound of a gunshot that had gone off almost at the same time as Luffy had pushed them over.

As Luffy got up off of her, muttering an apology, Kaya sat up shaking. "Was that a…"

"It was a gunshot," Usopp confirmed coldly. But then he took in the girl's trembling body and he saw the agony in her eyes, and how could he bear to hurt this poor girl any more than she already had been? "Well…maybe it's just some random thug after you're life. You're the richest person in town, after all!" Never mind that no random thug would come this far out to try a robbery. "The point is, we need to get you out of here."

Kaya, it seemed, wasn't very rational either. "No—Mr. Krahadore! Where's Mr. Krahadore? I can't leave without him!"

Usopp, Luffy and Sanji exchanged a glance and a nod. Usopp picked up Kaya bridal style, ignoring her protests; Sanji threw open the window, and Luffy was outside in an instant, tackling someone behind the bushes who was holding what looked like a rifle.

"Get to the doctor's place," Luffy growled when he noticed Sanji watching him blankly.

The order was delivered too late—or perhaps it was of no consequence to what happened next—for another gunshot came out of another clump of bushes, and Sanji was clutching his shoulder against a stream of red.

Luffy knocked the gunman he was holding with a punch and dove for the other clump of bushes. There were a few more gunshots before Luffy succeeded in subduing the next gunman, but by the time he had finished, both Usopp and Sanji were around the corner.

"Doctor's place," Luffy reminded himself, and clutching his side, made his way around the house and down the street as fast as he could.

* * *

"Great," muttered Nami, pacing up and down the middle of the room, "Where's he got to _now?_ "

"Running away from your tyranny, probably," Zoro yawned. "Does this mean I get to skip tutoring today?"

"No! If Luffy doesn't show up, you're still spending as much time on your homework as we usually do."

Zoro was not listening—in fact, he was emitting a series of low snores.

"Wake up you!" Nami punctuated each word with a fist to the top of Zoro's head.

The young man was already clutching his head in pain after the first blow, and after Nami had hit him once for each word and then twice more for good measure, Zoro was left glaring up at her ferociously. "What was _that_ for, woman!?"

"For falling asleep while I'm talking to you. And don't call me names."

" _What?_ 'Woman' isn't calling you a name! It's what you are!"

"Oh, so I'm best off just staying in the kitchen making you food and doing your dishes now, am I?" There was a dangerous glint in Nami's eyes that instilled terror in Zoro right down to the marrows of his bones,

"No! That's not what I meant at all!"

"After all, we were just made to bear your children. I suppose that you also believe that we should just sit in submission, never speak unless spoken to, and in general keep ourselves withdrawn from the world just in case we cause any damage to the pure, innocent minds of men?"

"No! I never- Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous. I never said a _thing_ of the sort! Where are you _getting_ all this? I wasn't aware that you found it so degrading to be called a woman…"

"So now being a woman is _degrading?_ "

" _Stop twisting my words!_ "

"You-"

The door crashed open. "Hey, I don't suppose you guys have any idea where Luffy is?"

Zoro stared at this new invasion. "What, is this room suddenly public territory?"

Nami, on the other hand, was gaping at this arrival, slack-jawed. She'd heard that Ace Portgas was good-looking, but wow!

But Nami, not one to act like a dewy-eyed _girl_ , was quick to pull herself together. "Nope, sorry—in fact, we were just wondering ourselves where he might have got off to. Why do you ask?"

"I was with him a while ago—took a walk with him after baseball practice, actually—and he seemed to see something, and ran off like crazy. Haven't seen him since, but I'm a bit worried he might've got himself lost."

"No surprise there," Nami muttered to herself. Then she smiled at Ace. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to show us where it was you lost him?"

Ace blinked. "Sure. I don't know what good it'll do, but…I suppose that's as good a start as any, right?"

"Right! Off we go, Zoro!"

With that, Nami dragged the protesting Zoro out of the dorm room by the scruff of the neck.

* * *

To say that Chopper T. Tony had not led a happy life would have to be a gross understatement. He was well accustomed to being called names like "Freak" and "Animal" and even "Rudolph," though it beat him where people got _that_ one from, unless they were alluding to the fact that people did not like him because of his appearance.

So it didn't really surprise the boy every time he opened the door in the doctor's absence only to have people goggle and stare.

It was a small town, certainly, but Chopper had been sheltered in the hope of avoiding the looks that seemed to await him around every corner now.

But when the two boys came stumbling in and one held Kaya, a sickly young girl in his arms, Chopper's mind clicked at once into business mode.

"Hello Dr. Tony," said Kaya with a smile that was as weak as her voice, and then she deteriorated into a fit of coughing.

"Get her into a bed," Chopper ordered the young man who was carrying her. "Up the stairs, first door on the left. Make sure you get her comfortable under the covers. Her body's not strong enough to deal with the cold! As soon as you've done that, get back down here so I can deal with your injuries."

"Yessir," said Usopp, snapping his jaw shut and abandoning his awed scrutiny of the younger boy in favor of rushing out of the room with Kaya. He threw a single backward glance at the door and saw the boy cutting away the lower part of Sanji's bloody left trouser leg to reveal a bullet wound.

 _That must have been what hit me_ , he thought vaguely, thinking of the persisting pain in his upper right arm. _Just hope it missed the artery_. On the other hand, he thought, he would probably be dead if the bullet had severed an artery, so he was probably fine.

He found the room without much difficulty and carefully set Kaya into the bed without looking at her. He had not looked at, nor spoken with her since practically _abducting_ her out of her home. She had not spoken to him either, and he presumed this to mean that she was furious with him for his behavior.

 _But she could be dead now if you hadn't done what you'd done_ , he told himself firmly. It didn't make him feel any better. He pulled the covers up and tucked them back in around the sides of the bed to keep her warm, and fluffed up her pillows as an excuse to sneak a glance at her. She was looking deliberately the other way, as though determined not to look at him by any means.

"Sorry, Kaya," he muttered as he left the room. He didn't hear her sigh once he was out of sight.

Half way down the stairs, a commotion began to make itself known to his ears. Worried though he could not make out anything specific being said, Usopp hurried down the remainder of the steps and turned at the bottom. The door of the room that they had first been led into was closed; he was quick to open it, and the sight that met him was the strange little doctor holding Sanji's leg and the two of them arguing. Sanji's shoulder was still covered in blood.

"-or you'll get hurt!"

"I don't care, I don't like the sight, let alone the _thought_ of that entering my body!" Sanji gave a shudder to punctuate his point, but the doctor's attention was no longer on him.

"Good, you're back. Sit down there, would you? Listen, this guy's got a bullet in his calf and he won't let me pull it out. Just talk to him a while, would you? Distract him."

"Erm…then I'll tell you about the time I overcame ten men—no, twenty!—to save three damsels in distress, shall I?"

"That makes a pretty pathetic story after this one."

"Which one?"

"The one- _Don't you dare bring that thing near me!_ "

"I'm just dabbing antiseptic on your wound. Don't look at me. Talk to him."

"Right." Sanji turned back to Usopp. "The one in which you are overcome by one man and can't even save the girl you love."

"We got her out."

"And that's all we did. Between the three of us, you'd think we could do something more thant that."

"On the other hand, our enemy is man who wants to take over the world."

"Again, with the taking over the world! _What_ are you going to do with that?"

"Pull out this splinter. Now _stop_ looking at me!"

"Yes, doctor," Sanji complied. It was difficult not to, actually, given that the boy looked…the way he did.

"Well, he is," said Usopp sulkily.

"I'm sorry, who is what?" asked Sanji, who had completely lost the thread of their conversation when he had seen Chopper holding the tweezers.

"Kuro's going to take over the world!"

"Oh. That. I think that we'd already established that that's a bit too large-scale for him to accomplish on his own, didn't we?"

"But if it were a _conspiracy-_ "

"Yes, because these days people never have anything better to do than sit around and conspire about the fate of this little village and a little young woman who lives in the village and wouldn't even really be considered all that _rich_ if she went down to one of the bigger cities!"

"Kaya's an amazing person!"

"And I never said that she wasn't. I just said that people who've never met her who don't care who she is wouldn't really have a reason to go after her rather than some rich person in a big city; or some other rich person in some other little village somewhere, for that matter!"

"Now that's just blatant 'it couldn't happen to me' logic."

"Right. You just keep telling yourself- Ow! Fuck! What the _hell-_ "

"There, see? All done," Chopper announced triumphantly, holding up the bloody bullet with a pair of forceps.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," said Usopp, putting a hand over his mouth to hold in an inescapable wave of nausea. Chopper was already disinfecting and bandaging the wound at record speed, but nonetheless with flawless precision.

"Now," said Chopper, turning to Usopp, "Show me your arm."

Usopp looked down at his arm in surprise. The blood was mostly on the inside, and it didn't seem to be making that conspicuous of a stain; how could he possibly know? "But his shoulder's bleeding-"

"I took care of that while you were upstairs. It was plenty of time for him to take off his shirt and put them back on, believe me. And the bullet went all the way through in that case, so I didn't need to go through that hassle. Now—your arm."

The authority in Chopper's voice was such that Usopp was holding out his arm in offering before his mind had even given the permission. Chopper proceeded to disrobe the arm immediately, and quickly found the bullet wound.

"Good, you weren't hit badly—it's just a scratch."

Usopp looked down at his wound in disbelief. Indeed, it wasn't bleeding hard by any means, but the wound was a long one that went diagonally along the inside of his arm, red, bloody and ugly, and took with it some of the flesh. It was _not_ Usopp's definition of a scratch by any means, and he made sure that Chopper knew that.

"Well, yes, I suppose that 'scratch' _is_ a bit of an exaggeration," Chopper conceded. "But I can promise you that it looks worse than it is. It's nothing to worry about, really."

Indeed, the ugly wound was quickly disinfected and bandaged, and then Chopper was telling the two of them to get some rest. _That was anticlimactic,_ Usopp thought.

* * *

"You were up a mountain?" Nami repeated incredulously. "But _nobody_ leaves the trails!"

Ace laughed. "So we've been told. But Luffy and I marked our own trails when we were younger, and we haven't had any trouble this far."

"So…you grew up here in Fuschia?" That was rather astonishing. Nami had certainly known of Ace through the school, but she hadn't heard a word about him before high school. And this was all not to mention Luffy, who had been a transfer student, who _still_ seemed appallingly lacking in any basic knowledge of anything, let alone W.G. Institute and Fuschia.

"Yeah, we grew up here," Ace told her, and this surprised Nami to boundless ends. Was it _possible_ that there had been children growing up in the same village as she, around her own age, that she had never even met? That just seemed to defy all tiny village logic that Nami knew of.

They turned the corner, and saw a red-clad back disappearing behind a closing door.

"Wasn't that Luffy?" volunteered a suddenly-not-sullen Zoro.

"What?" asked Nami, who hadn't noticed.

"The door that just closed, you mean?" asked Ace, who had been the last one around the corner. "I didn't really see anything…"

"But we might as well try," Nami suggested. "It's Dr. Kureha's place. If Luffy isn't there, there's no harm done-"

"Do _you_ want to be robbed of your house because you took up five minutes of the lady's time?"

"Ace, she really isn't that bad."

"You say that after _you've_ had a little brother who had to have a bone set by that lady."

"I'm sure she didn't take away your house."

"Well, maybe I was exaggerating a little. But not by much! She demanded thirty percent of our property! And we didn't own anything of course, so it had to come out of our parents'!"

"Your parents live here?" If Zoro hadn't spoken up, Nami would never have believed that he'd been listening to a word that had been said.

"Well, not our real parents," said Ace. Nami took this distraction as an opportunity to go up to the door and ring the doorbell. "By which I mean our blood parents. We were raised by-"

The door opened to reveal a person—if it _was_ a person—that really resembled a monkey more than a person due to the fact that he was covered in chestnut fur from head to toe—or at least, from what they could see of him. His fur was a little thinner around his eyes and along his nose, but otherwise he was quite covered. He wore a loose pair of magenta pants, and a purple jacket, and while his appearance was quite… _unique,_ Nami was quite taken with those timid, wide blue eyes. They called to her, like a lost puppy in the middle of the street, and she was overcome by some deep, uncontested instinct to coddle and care for this strangely adorable creature.

"Hi," she said, smiling and kneeling down so that she was level with the short creature's face. "We're just looking for a friend of ours—he's called Luffy, and he should be wearing a red shirt and blue jean shorts, and usually has a straw hat on his head; you wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

"Y- yeah," said the creature hesitantly, "He's here. With Usopp and Sanji."

Nami raised a brow at that. Ace just shrugged. "Well then; looks like I jumped to conclusions. I'll leave him to you folks then!" And he was off down the street. Nami was struck with a pang of disappointment before it occurred to her to wonder if he was perhaps just attempting to escape the alleged terror that was Dr. Kureha.

"You know what," said Zoro, "I'm going too. If the damn cook's here-"

"You're still staying," Nami informed him, catching him by the ear before he could go anywhere.

"Why!?"

"Because I say so."

"Oh, and I'm supposed to just roll over and die if you tell me to, I suppose?"

"If you're in debt to me at the time, then yes."

"I don't see the connection."

Nami rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded rather insulting, though Zoro couldn't hear a word of it. He would have commented, but Nami was already talking (audibly) again. "Let me put it this way: you leave, and your debt quintuples."

"My debt quint-what?"

"Quintuples. Multiplies to five times its current size."

"Which would be…"

"Well over two thousand dollars, I can assure you. No, wait—it would be practically into the three thousands."

"Damn you!"

"And that's five-eighty-five fifty-nine."

"Y-"

"Hey guys!" Luffy greeted cheerfully, coming out into the hallway. "What're you doing here?"

"Trying to get this witch to take me back," Zoro growled, but Nami was distracted by the appearance of Usopp and Sanji behind Luffy, and appeared to miss this insult.

"Sanji! And the L- Usopp! What are you two-"

"Miss Nami! Oh, my heart races to see you and my love blossoms from lily to rose beneath the sun of your presence! If you were a sea, I would sail forever upon your waters; if you were the sky, I would fly forever in your-"

"Does a lily really bloom into a rose?" interrupted a curious Luffy.

"If she were a sea, wouldn't you want to be _swimming_ in her waters, or something like that? Sailing would entail you being separated by a boat. That's not very romantic," reasoned Usopp.

"And he would run out of fuel if he kept flying forever by any means that have been invented as of the present," Nami added with a roll of her eyes. "But I don't believe that that's the way poetry works."

"Poetry?" asked Zoro. Nami stared at him blankly. He couldn't possibly mean…

"It's the shorter strings of words," Luffy said. "You know, the ones that look like pretty short lines, but actually make no sense?"

"Ah," said Zoro, and Nami wondered why she tried so hard to teach them in terms that were used to explain these things to other people when all that explaining seemed to be for naught.

"Anyway!" Nami shoved her tutoring worries behind her to be dealt with later—preferably in an enclosed space where neither boy could escape—and turned to Sanji. He may spout bad poetry at her and flirt ceaselessly, but he seemed to be the sanest person present. "Sanji, what's going on here?"

But before Sanji could reply, the creature from earlier came scurrying back in. "Luffy! I told you to stay put! I need to bandage that!"

"But you were getting the brown stuff out."

"I _know_ you don't like it," it sighed. "But if I don't use the brown stuff, your leg might turn red and purple and white and puff up and hurt even more than it does now."

As Luffy yielded (with some reluctance), Nami wondered at the strange… _person's_ ability to communicate things to Luffy. She gathered that he was disinfecting a cut of some sort, but she instinctively went for the technical terms. This person seemed used to using simple terms to explain things to others. Who _was_ this?

But now that she thought about it, hadn't there been some rumor running around that Dr. Kureha had taken on an apprentice—the son of Dr. Hiruruk? His name was Chopper T. Tony: she knew because he was in her advanced biology class. Everyone knew that the one who sat in the back in a big bulky raincoat was Chopper Tony, but the boy was so evasive of conversation or, indeed, any contact at all that she had ceased to pay attention to him. She had never heard any confirmation of the rumor that he was Dr. Hiruruk's son and Dr. Kureha's apprentice, so she had refused to accept it as the truth. Yet at the same time, she had wanted to respect the boy's obvious desire for privacy. But if he really looked like this, it would certainly explain the raincoat phenomenon…

Well, this boy was obviously very used to treating wounds, Nami noted as she watched the ease with which Luffy's leg was held still as the disinfectant was dabbed onto a cut on the back of his thigh, and then quickly bandaged before he had a chance to escape. Dr. Kureha wasn't one to lightly allow a person access to her stores. There was little doubt that this was her apprentice of sorts. But as to whether or not it was Chopper…

"Are you Mr. Tony?" Nami asked, attempting to keep her voice gentle.

The boy, until then confident and in his element, suddenly spun around to stare at her like a deer caught in headlights. "Wh…" His eyes widened in horror. "You're Nami Mikan!"

Why was he so… _fearful_? "Well, yes, but-"

"Don't tell anyone! Please! Doctorine doesn't like it when I hide my face, so I don't do it here, but…that's the only class where people actually don't hate me! Please! Don't tell-"

" _What_ is going on here?" demanded a voice that carried all the irate authority of a king who had returned to his palace to find his sons being hung.

Nami jumped and spun around to see Dr. Kureha. A shiver went down her spine at the fierce look in the woman's eyes, and she hastened to open her mouth to defend herself.

But to her surprise, Luffy and Zoro were the ones who rushed to her defense.

"She wasn't doing anything wrong!" Luffy insisted, and a look at his earnest look told Nami that he wasn't entirely oblivious to the doctor's fury.

"She just asked him if he was…Tony, or something, and he started throwing a fit—it's not Nami's fault!"

"My darling innocent Miss Nami wouldn't hurt a fly if it stung her!" Sanji declared, not to be out done by two morons.

"Sanji, flies don't sting," Usopp offered. "And I'm willing to bet she'd hurt _anything_ that crossed her path."

Nami spun on him with death in her eyes, and Usopp cringed and took a step backwards where Sanji proceeded to beat him over the head with a fist and demand that Usopp show proper respect for a lady of Miss Nami's intelligence. Luffy and Zoro exchanged a look and began to snicker.

Dr. Kureha didn't pay the chaotic older teens any mind, and rounded on Chopper instead.

"How many times have I told you not to get defensive just because someone looked at you twice? If you want to be a doctor, you need the proper attitude! You know that you can't just walk up to an infant and start treating it without gaining its trust somehow—why is it so difficult for you to understand that it's exactly the same thing if you get overly defensive when you're treating _any_ of your patients? You get defensive, they think that you have something to hide, and next thing you know, you've got a patient making his own condition worse by panicking!"

"With all due respect," interrupted Sanji, "You don't really do much in the way of gaining a patient's trust, the way you make it known that you're going to make off with half of your patient's possessions once you're finished treating them for a cold."

Kureha barely turned her head in his direction. "I remember you," she commented. "I've never treated you for a cold. How would you know what my rates are?"

"You don't _have_ rates!"

"Certainly I do. I only take ten percent for a cold. I don't take fifty percent unless I had to undergo a complicated procedure of some sort, or administer some of my better medicine. Maybe both."

Nami watched the exchange in thinly veiled horror. Dr. Kureha was certainly _not_ one to be trifled with this way. But—perhaps she was in a good mood today—as of the present, it didn't appear that she was anything more than amused.

Meanwhile, the doctor was not allowing Sanji time to retort. "So, I suppose that there was some sort of mass casualty incident that explains why there are so many people crowding in my hallway?"

"These three"-Chopper pointed at Sanji, Usopp and Luffy in turn-"were shot at. They brought Miss Kaya with them, and she's sleeping upstairs now."

" _Shot_ at?" demanded the doctor, and all amusement was gone.

"You were _what?_ " Nami excaimed at the same time, turning on Luffy. "Why didn't you _say_ anything?"

The boy shrugged. "They didn't follow us. Besides, you didn't believe Usopp before when he was telling everyone about Kuro."

Nami heaved a heavy sigh. "Luffy, for the last time! There is no such person as-"

"Kuro?" snapped Dr. Kureha. "What's going on here?"

They all froze.

Dr. Kureha was, at best, a terrifying presence to be around, though she tended to be permanently in a good mood. Not many people had seen the woman angry, upset, or, in general, any mood that was not happy, amused, entertained, etcetera.

A serious Dr. Kureha was enough to send Usopp and Nami backing towards the door.

"Don't you dare try to escape!" snapped the doctor. "You're not leaving till I have a proper explanation on my hands here! People don't just get _shot_ at— _especially_ in Fuchsia! And what's this about Kuro?"

"Some escaped convict or something. I don't really get it, but he's not a good person," Sanji explained, stumbling over his words. Anything to get him out quickly.

"But that's not the point," Usopp said. "Krahadore is Kuro. He's been pretending all this time, and he meant to kill Kaya and get all her property and money and then kill a bunch of people in the village, but Sanji came and let me out from where he'd locked me up, and we got Kaya out of there."

Dr. Kureha just stood there, her lips thin and eyes hard as she looked steadily at Usopp. The boy gulped and trembled, but determinedly refused to look away. _Well_ , thought Sanji, _that version definitely sounded a lot more realistic than the other "he's going to take over the world" version of the story._

Still, no one in their right mind would-

"And you just left Kaya upstairs? What are you, retarded?" This demand was punctuated by a kick to Usopp's stomach that sent the boy flying into the wall for the who-knew-how-many-eth time that day. "People who go after other people with guns don't stop just because their target is in a house, and this house is _not_ bullet proof! You!" She pointed at Zoro. "Get her down here. She can sleep on the couch."

Zoro just stared blankly.

"I'll go with him," muttered Usopp, stumbling to his feet and dragging Zoro down the hall and to the staircase as quickly as he could move after that blow. He had never believed that Dr. Kureha could be as vicious as Sanji described—she was the only one who could help Kaya on her worst days, after all—but now he was starting to think that Sanji had been understating the extent of that viciousness.

It didn't take long for Zoro to carry Kaya into the living room (and he did so with an ease and smoothness that didn't even disturb the girl and inspired Usopp's envy to reach heights that he had not previously known to exist), after which everyone gathered there at Dr. Kureha's insistence. Usopp gave his story, Sanji gave his, and Luffy told his in such a way that left everyone to wonder _why_ he had been so positive that Usopp was right, but seeing as how cit didn't appear that he would be offering a logical explanation, they let it go.

Once they had all told their own tales, the living room was left in silence.

"So, what now?" asked Usopp quietly.

"You and Sanji join our gang," Luffy declared quite matter-of-factly, as if there could be no other solution.

" _What?_ " demanded Zoro. "You want me to spend extended amounts of time with the cheese-headed cook?"

Nami, who was growing more inclined to expect Luffy's incomprehensible decisions, just sighed in resignation.

"Gang?" asked Chopper curiously.

"Your _what_?" snapped Sanji.

"But you didn't want anything to do with me," said Usopp.

" _Then_ you were some random stranger," Luffy explained.

"And this 'gang' thing is more of a secret society, except he doesn't like it being called that," smirked Zoro.

"Why not Chopper too?" Nami dared.

Luffy followed her gaze to the furry boy.

"Chopper? Sure! A doctor in our gang would be great!"

Chopper looked nervously at his mentor. "Erm, I'm not exactly a doctor yet…"

"But you're as good as one."

"Don't think that you can take my apprentice away from me that lightly!" Usopp went crashing into the wall again. Luffy, Zoro, Nami and Sanji stared at him with a combination of sympathy for the abused boy and fear at the clear imprint of the bottom of the doctor's boot in his forehead—there was definitely going to be a bruise there. If he were unfortunate, he would also have a concussion, though hopefully (being a doctor) Kureha would have executed enough restraint in her kick that there would not, in fact, be any permanent damage.

But Luffy was quick to abandon caution. "We won't take him away. He'll just come with us. It's not like you can tell him he can't spend any time with us."

Doctor and schoolboy looked at each other for a time. Then Dr. Kureha burst into laughter. "I knew there was a reason I liked you," she grinned, ruffling the boy's hair. "Indeed. If Chopper chooses to join this so-called gang or secret society of yours, I won't stand in your way. But don't you think that you can drag him off. Now," and her eyes and voice were hard again, "Tell me about this Kuro."

So Usopp did so. Most present listened with rapt attention: Nami wanted to know as much as she could of the tale that she had dismissed as false, and Sanji wanted to gauge how much of the tale was Kuro's words, and how much was Usopp's exaggeration. Kureha and Chopper were hearing the tale for the first time. Luffy and Zoro, however, were in the corner discussing something—probably homework—that was beyond the care or comprehension of anyone else present.

They had reached some sort of false sense of security about twenty minutes into this state, and the immediate danger was not at the front of any mind present. This was why they all—except, maybe, Dr. Kureha—jumped out of their skins when the door slammed open.


	7. Vivi Nefertari

The girl who came rushing in through the door had hair that seemed an almost bluish grey—was it possible to have hair that grey and still look that young?—and everyone held their breath, expecting doom to come falling on them. However, the girl at once charged down Dr. Kureha with a wild look in her eyes. Dr. Kureha let out the breath she had been holding, but everyone else remained glued to the spot.

"Dr. Kureha, I've got the papers! Kuro _is_ Krahadore, and I have no idea how he got here, but I _know_ he's up to no good, so we've got to get Miss Syrup out of…" The girl trailed off as she realized that she was surrounded by people. "Oh, hello," she said awkwardly. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Dr. Kureha isn't usually very busy, and I sort of thought that I might come in here to practice my, um, _acting-_ "

"Oh, hush," said Dr. Kureha, "you're embarrassing yourself."

"You know about Kuro?" asked Usopp.

Nami knew she'd seen the girl somewhere before, and was racking her brain for the name and identity that went with that face. She had a feeling it had happened at the beginning of the school year— _ah, an exchange student, or maybe a transfer_ —but she still couldn't remember her name.

"Do I- how do _you_ know about Kuro?" asked the girl, looking a little bewildered.

"How do _we?_ " demanded Usopp, and the look of suspicion grew deeper in his eyes. "We know because the lunatic captured me, locked me up in a horrible, dark cell underground and in our attempt to escape, shot at us so we could barely make it out alive. So I would _dearly_ love to know how _you_ know."

The new arrival blinked. "Me? Well…" Her eyes flicked left and right around the room, and she looked entirely out of her element. It had, they would think in retrospect, to be incredibly disorienting to be accused—even just by implication—of something that one was victim to, and so they would find it quite understandable that she had frozen, almost unable to comprehend the animosity directed at her.

As it was, however, her delay in answering merely made her seem like a deer caught in headlights—and therefore more suspicious.

Had Dr. Kureha been a kinder person, she probably would have stepped in to avert the malevolent suspicion turned on Vivi, but she was not—in fact it quite amused her to sit at the side and watch the scene unfold before her.

"What are you doing for him, how much is he paying you, and what is his aim? Who are you?"

Nami suddenly had a pocket knife ready against the blue-haired girl's throat. The girl in question just continued to look confused. Nami wondered if she was slow.

"While we're asking questions," piped up Luffy, "is your hair naturally that color or did you dye it?"

"Wait, _what?_ " the girl finally spoke up, pushing Nami away. "Why are you pointing a knife at me? And what's going on here? Who are you?"

"Kuro just imprisoned one of their friends and shot at three of them you see," Dr. Kureha informed her.

" _Why?_ What does that have anything to do with…" she suddenly trailed off, glancing fearfully at the others present in the room. "…what we know?" she finished tentatively.

"What _do_ you know?" demanded Nami, snapping her knife closed and sighing. "I take it you're not with Kuro, and Dr. Kureha seemed to know something about him, so I suppose you're with her?"

"Or you could say that I'm with her," chuckled Kureha. "Chopper, why don't you make our guests some tea? I think they're going to be a while."

"No thank you," the room chorused quickly, every mind thinking of how much the old woman might charge for a mere cup of tea.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Kureha. "I'll give you all fifty percent off. Now go make the tea, Chopper."

The boy scurried out of the room.

"Now, Vivi, why don't you tell them all about yourself?"

"Um, yes," said the girl called Vivi nervously. "You see, I'm from a small country south of Florida, off the coast of Mexico. We're an established country, though our country is made up of only one small island and the population is currently under fifty thousand. I transferred here this year to study politics here, since this is reputed as a wonderful school for the study of politics—or, at least, that's my cover. Actually, I transferred here a little late in the year—about a month or so after the first semester started—with different objectives in mind. You see, lately my country—Alabasta—has been having certain…problems. There have been unregistered imports and exports that set the records askew, but we haven't been able to figure out exactly where the exports go, or the imports come from. In fact, we haven't even managed to figure out exactly what they _are_ , because according to the records, a little bit of everything is missing, but since all the records we have are in weight, we think that someone smuggled their goods in the other goods, and then removed them before the security check somehow.

"We're not certain who's doing this or what they're trying to accomplish, but we're certain that they come from here. In fact, I've been getting some reports from a friend of mine who's doing research for me back in Alabasta, and the name 'Kuro' came up. He's an escaped convict from Alabasta, and we think he's an illegal immigrant in the States. There was an oddly quiet prison break in Alabasta in January 1998—no broken locks or alarm or anything, just one prisoner mysteriously vanished one night. But I didn't figure out that he was Mr. Krahadore until just now. I'm sorry, I wish I'd figured it out sooner."

"Never mind that," Nami waved off the apology. "What do you know?"

"Not much," Vivi shrugged. "Just that he's involved somehow. But you said you got involved with him…?"

"Not me," Nami sighed, finally dropping her guard. "These three idiots over here were trying to save Kaya. It's a good thing they did, but from what I've heard of it, it was a dangerous adventure. Actually, that would be an understatement."

"I can only imagine," said Vivi, shuddering.

"May I offer my assistance in your quest for information, young lady?" swooned Sanji, finally seeing an opening. "After all, you, a beautiful damsel in distress from a foreign land need a valiant knight in armor to-"

"No, she really doesn't," Usopp interrupted, rolling his eyes. "She's been doing just fine on her own, and even if she _did_ want help, it would be a partner, not a knight in shining armor permanently swooning over her and just getting in the way. Am I right?"

"Yes, now be quiet so that Vivi can tell us the rest of her story. Your name _is_ Vivi, right?" Nami looked back at the girl just to be sure.

"Yes, Vivi Nefertari," smiled the girl prettily before promptly lapsing back to her troubled look. "Though I can't say that there's anything else to tell that would be relevant…"

"You said that Krahadore is an escaped convict, and possibly an illegal immigrant," said a weak voice from behind, and they all looked around in surprise to find Kaya sitting up and watching them all with strong—if tired—eyes. "My parents went through his papers when they hired him ten years ago, and I saw those papers when they died and everything passed into my keeping. They were perfectly in order for a man by the name of Ken Krahadore."

"He could easily have forged the documents," Nami pointed out. "Just a few bribes to the right people and you've got your hands on fake passports, visas, birth certificates and even citizenship."

"Maybe. But Miss Vivi, you just said that he broke out of prison in January 1998. Do you remember when that month?"

"Hm…" Vivi looked thoughtful. "It wasn't that long after New Years' Day, if my memory is correct. I believe it was the third."

Kaya nodded. "But you see, that is quite odd, because he came into my parents' employment on the fourth of January 1998, with completed interview and everything."

Nami, Sanji and Usopp stared blankly at the blonde girl.

"That's certainly…odd," Nami said off-handedly.

Kaya nodded. "I wish I could access the study of my house: all the documents are there. I remember these particular dates because after my parents' death, I desperately clung to Krahadore and wanted some proof that he wouldn't leave my side. I found that assurance in the dates that proved how long he'd been with my family. After all, how could a man who'd been with us for ten years possibly be false to me?" She laughed, and the bitterness in her voice struck Usopp like a knife.

He was at her side in a moment. "Kaya, rest now—you can talk later."

"I'm alright," she smiled at him. Then she turned back to the others, her eyes serious. "I know that the documents in my parents' old study have more information: the date of the interview, the place where it took place, even his original application. It might help to see those."

"I hope so," Vivi said.

"Right, so I take it we're coming up with some sort of a plan to break into your house again, Miss Kaya?" Sanji asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kaya's eyes widened, alarmed. "No! Please—wait until Krahadore has gone, or…or something to that effect. They've already shot you, what if you die next time? No. We'll find a way to obtain the information we need by some other means."

"Like what?" asked Nami gently. "Miss Syrup, we don't have any other leads. All we know is that Kuro mysteriously disappeared from Alabasta and showed up in Maine the next day with a false identity and a respectable job. I doubt there's anywhere better to find information on this than the documents you just mentioned. I'm guessing that the information in Alabasta is less than useful; am I right, Vivi?"

"Yes," she nodded earnestly. "All the documentation left concerning Kuro is that he was convicted for murder, found guilty and then escaped from prison. All the records of his trial disappeared the same night that he did."

"Hm," said Nami thoughtfully. "Well then, we're just going to have to use the advantage of the fact that we have better planners working this time. It's no wonder that Luffy, Sanji and Usopp got shot at on their own—none of them has a subtle bone in their bodies."

"Miss Nami!" cried Sanji tragically. "But I'm wounded! How could you accuse me of such a thing when it was Luffy's lack of subtlety and Usopp getting himself caught that-"

"Hey!" demanded Usopp. "Now it's all _my_ fault?"

" _Quiet!_ " snapped the redhead, and the boys' mouths snapped shut. "Now. I don't care a _whit_ who's fault it was that got you into that situation. The fact of the matter is that you _did_ get yourselves into trouble for lack of subtlety, and we're going to remedy that by setting up an actual _plan_ before you go barging in this time. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Sanji and Usopp at once.

"And what about you, Luf- Wait, where's Luffy?"

They all looked around to find, for the first time, that Luffy was no longer present. Nami looked to Zoro in the hope that he would have noticed something, but the man in question was fast asleep against the wall.

Nami gritted her teeth, stomped across the room, and woke the teen with a merciless fist to the nose.

"Ow!" shouted Zoro as he woke, clutching his nose. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you, woman? You practically _broke_ my _nose!_ "

"Is that an insult?" growled the girl threateningly. Zoro gulped. "I thought not," she said with a falsely sunny smile. "Now, do you have any idea where our dear Luffy is?"

"Somewhere around here, why?"

Zoro's response earned him another fist to the head.

"Now that we've established that Luffy's gone," Nami said, clapping her hands for attention— _as if she didn't already have it,_ Usopp thought—"we need to spread out and find him before he does something rash. If he stayed long enough to hear the thing about the study, the moron might have decided that it would be a genius idea to break back into Syrup Manor and raid the study."

"Why don't we just let him?" groaned Zoro. "He's _Luffy_. He'll be fine."

Nami swung around to glare at him. "I don't know _where_ you get that conviction from, but even if he _would_ be fine, do you actually believe that he'd know what document to search for in the study?"

Zoro blinked. "What document?"

"My point exactly," Nami said, and punctuated this with another fist to Zoro's head. Zoro groaned, clutching his now-pounding head, and wondered if he should be grateful that she had apparently decided that she preferred hitting him than collecting debt for the time being.

"Oh, Miss Nami, if only your fist of love would strike me as well, how happy I would-" Sanji's swooning was broken of by Nami's fist to his cheek. He fell backwards—still swooning, apparently—and Zoro and Usopp snorted.

"Come on, people!" Nami ordered, clapping authoritatively. "Hunt for Luffy! Don't let him do anything stu-"

A scream of terror from down the hallway cut her off. Instantly, Nami, Sanji and Usopp were neck-to-neck racing down the hallway to skid to a stop and peer around the doorframe at its end.

Dr. Kureha was supremely unconcerned, for though she recognized the scream as Chopper's, she knew that he had a tendency to get rather more jumpy than necessary. Zoro had fallen back asleep, and Kaya watched nervously from the couch; Vivi crept after the three who had bolted down the hallway.

But the alarm was not a life-or-death issue, it seemed, for Nami growled, " _Luffy,_ " and Usopp and Vivi backed away cautiously while Sanji scarcely began to swoon before Nami's elbow struck his stomach and had him doubling over.

"Did _no one_ ever teach you that you're not supposed to raid other people's kitchens?" the party in the living room could hear. "What a _mess!_ I can't believe you—and you _destroyed_ the _counter_. _Luffy!?_ What were you thinking?"

"But I was _hungry,_ " whined the boy.

The thuds and painful whimpers that followed this statement suggested that Nami did not consider that a sufficient response.

"Chopper?"

"Y- yes, ma'am!"

"Take the tea to the others while I deal with this."

"Y- yes, ma'am!" Chopper was already running out of the kitchen in terror. "Here's your tea," he announced in a voice that was squeaky with terror once he reached the living room.

Dr. Kureha calmly took hers, and the others followed her lead (Zoro, still sleeping, was the only exception) as they listened to Nami's lecturing, Luffy's whining and the occasional thud of a fist when Luffy proved too difficult.

When Nami finally emerged from the kitchen, she _looked_ like the devil incarnate (because on the inside, she had already been that—a fact on which everyone present except Sanji—and maybe Kaya and Chopper—agreed). Chopper and Usopp gulped and backed away carefully.

But Nami herself seemed quite nervous as she approached Dr. Kureha.

"Erm, Luffy may just have trashed the kitchen and eaten you out of house and home…" Nami trailed off, and cleared her throat in an unsuccessful attempt to disguise her unease.

"Don't worry about it," said Dr. Kureha with a casual wave of the hand. "Just clean up the mess before I enter the kitchen, and I won't ask for everything of value that you all own."

At this, Nami and Usopp exchanged a look of sheer terror and rushed back towards the kitchen, Nami dragging Zoro along by the collar. Vivi looked between the nervous Chopper and Sanji—who was glancing back and forth between Vivi and Nami as if he couldn't make up his mind about something—before she decided to follow Nami and Usopp.

At this, Sanji too quickly downed his tea and politely took his leave of Kaya (and Dr. Kureha and Chopper out of respect—or maybe just fear).

In the kitchen, Sanji was introduced to the mess of the century surrounded by chaos. Sure, he had seen dirty kitchens before, but this was just ridiculous: pots and pans, broken dishes, and random bottles, wrappers and scraps of food strewn everywhere to the point where the floor was almost completely obscured from view. And yet these random scraps of food on the floor were still being picked up off the floor to sate Luffy's monstrous appetite.

Sanji shuddered. He looked at Miss Vivi trying to put away the dishes with Zoro reluctantly pretending to help but only managing to break more items while Miss Nami and Usopp attempted to force Luffy to stop eating, having given up entirely on talking sense into the boy. The sight made Sanji lose faith in human nature, and he wanted nothing more than to turn around, leave, and promptly delete the sight from memory.

But there was food, a kitchen, and ladies involved, so Sanji could not possibly abandon the scene. He clapped loudly with a sharp shout of, "Freeze where you are!" and successfully caught the attention of everyone, including the source of their troubles—though Luffy didn't have the grace to stop stuffing food into his mouth even as he stared wide-eyed at Sanji. Everyone else, however, had spun around to stare at him wide-eyed, and Sanji could not help but wonder at their tension. (Then again, of _course_ they were tense, what with Kuro and Kureha both after their hides.)

"Right," said Sanji cheerfully. It sounded fake to his own ears. "Since obviously no one here has any idea what to do with a dirty kitchen—except my darling Miss Nami and Miss Vivi, of course, you're wonderful, my ladies!—I'm taking charge here. First of all, we need to get the human vacuum out of here. Usopp-" Then Sanji paused. Usopp knew how to clean up a kitchen at least—he'd helped out at the restaurant every once in a while—and could be useful to have around. On the other hand, Sanji wasn't about to subject a lady to having to deal with Luffy. That left… "Actually, scratch that. Zoro." He was almost as much a terror to the kitchen as Luffy anyway, Sanji reflected, looking ruefully down at the pile of broken china that was Zoro's doing.

"Good idea," Nami agreed, seeing where this was going. "Zoro, get Luffy out, and if he comes back in here or destroys anything else at _all_ , the amount you owe me gets tripled. Are we clear?"

"Why the _hell_ -"

"Are we going to argumentative to day?" smiled Nami so sweetly that Sanji swooned, Zoro glared death at her and Usopp and Vivi shuddered.

But after a moment's angry staring, Zoro took hold of Luffy's shirt by the collar and dragged him away from the food, the younger boy still flailing and screaming in passionate protest.

"Just shut up, my debt depends on this," Zoro growled.

"My stomach depends on this," Luffy replied sulkily, though he stopped struggling—though he did grab another bread crust off the floor just before Zoro dragged him out of the kitchen.

"Ah, my sweet Miss Nami," swooned Sanji, "how sweetly you manage to handle uncouth men like them!"

The wall that separated the hallway and the kitchen swore at Sanji in Zoro's voice.

"Are you taking charge of this place or not?" demanded Usopp, having had quite enough of the lack of seriousness that seemed to plague everyone present. "Seriously, you have mood swings like a pregnant woman."

Sanji spun around to glare. "Congratulations, you've managed to insult ladies, the children they treasure, and my masculinity in one breath. Would you like to do the dishes, or would your forehead be interested in becoming acquainted with my steel-toed shoe? It's new, you know."

Usopp gulped. Of all clean up jobs, he _despised_ dishes. Passionately. Of course, Sanji knew this. "I'll do the dishes," he squeaked, gathering up the pots and pans and china that was still in tact as quickly as if it was the most exciting thing in the world.

"I'll dry the dishes," Nami volunteered, finding a dish cloth hanging on a railing that also served as the handle of the oven.

"I can put them away," Vivi added. "I come here every so often, so I know where most things belong."

"But forcing two young ladies such as yourselves-" Sanji's chivalrous protest was cut short by Nami.

"If you say anything about us not working I will introduce you to the concept of chivalry flowing into sexism, and everything Dr. Kureha takes in payment will come out of your property."

Sanji snapped his mouth shut, though he couldn't resist a brief silent swoon—Miss Nami was so controlling! Then he set about gathering up the scattered food, from which he cut off damaged and dirty parts while carefully preserving the parts that were still good. The whole time he muttered curses under his breath at Luffy for his wastefulness. Resolutely he stuffed the food into a clean plastic bag.

When he was done with that, he set about scrubbing the counters and mopping the floor, then checking each cupboard and drawer to ensure that everything was in order. Having completed this, and turning to find that the dishes party was still working, he wavered between Miss Nami and Miss Vivi a moment before realizing that he didn't really know where Dr. Kureha kept everything. So he went and offered to take over Nami's job, and the young woman was very willing to let him take over—no rant about sexism this time, Usopp noted wryly.

Thus it was not long before the once-disastrous kitchen was sparkling clean.

"I just hope that Dr. Kureha will find our tidying up sufficient," Vivi commented worriedly. "A lot of the food is gone, and half the china is broken."

"But this is Dr. Kureha we're discussing, Miss Vivi," Sanji pointed out. "Even if there weren't a single thing wrong when the kitchen when we were done, she'd still tell us to give her fifty percent of what we own just because she can." He felt rather moody as he pointed this out.

Vivi didn't miss the way his hand moved—practically a twitch—as if seeking something in his breast pocket before dangling at Sanji's side once more. This change of mind didn't seem to sit wel with him, an Vivi wondered if the pocket contained medication, or perhaps a flask of whisky.

Her question was answered when Nami said, "I can't imagine what Dr. Kureha would do to us if you smoked in here." She was looking at Sanji with hard, speculative eyes, she were watching for a reaction.

"Yes, Miss Nami." But his swoon wasn't as enthusiastic as it usually was. "That's why I stopped."

"I thought so." Nami narrowed her eyes. "But you ought to consider the dangers of lung cancer too, every once in a while."

Sanji blinked, and then a more enthused smile spread across his face. "Is my Miss Nami concerned for my health? Why, this is such a happy day of my life! My dear Miss Nami, I shall follow you for-" He was cut off as Nami kneed him in the stomach on her way to hand Vivi a pot.

"Ah, the power of love," choked Sanji. It sounded painful, Usopp reflected without sympathy.

"I belong to no one," Nami growled with such vehemence that Vivi took a few steps back." Least of all to perverted sexist morons like yourself!" Turning on heel, she stomped back to Usopp for another dish to dry.

"Tough love. How caring!" Sanji sighed this at her back, but Nami had apparently made the decision to ignore him. "But if you shall not be mine, then what shall I have to claim as my own? Miss Vivi, with all your sky blue locks and determined, steadfast heart—would you be mine to love and cherish for always?"

Vivi blinked down at the man kneeling before her and clutching her hand, wondering when he had recovered from Nami's fury and made it all the way across the room.

"Um," she said uncomprehendingly, blinking again. She was not entirely positive, but she thought that she might be missing something.

"No, she would _not!_ " Nami snapped, punctuating the last word with a fist to Sanji's head. "Don't mind him," she told Vivi, "he's just a womanizing idiot who has no idea what he's talking about."

"Maybe we ought to be heading back to the others?" Vivi suggested tentatively.

"Yes, let's!" chirped Nami, suddenly her happy self. Vivi didn't know whether this was a prospect at which she ought to be relieved or frightened.

Back in the living room, they found Zoro and Luffy perfectly happily playing cards—a game of spit—with Chopper.

"How do you play spit with three people?" Nami wondered aloud.

"You can play spit with more than two people," Vivi replied, surprised. "Just divide the cards up differently—it takes longer, but three people isn't that bad-"

"I don't think they're actually playing spit," Dr. Kureha informed them, as if she had not just been the one to tell them that they were playing spit.

"Make up your mind," Usopp muttered under his breath. "Are they playing spit or aren't they?"

A second later his face met the wall.

"They call it spit, and the fundamentals seem to derive from spit," Dr. Kureha replied as calmly as if she had not just shoved a person's face into the wall. "But they're making up whatever rules suit the situation as they go along."

Then she stood and walked down the hallway. The party of four that had cleaned the kitchen did not have much time to be nervous, because she emerged from the kitchen mere seconds after entering.

"Good job. Last time the boy raided my kitchen, it took a week to clean up after him."

"Last time?" Nami repeated. "He's been here before?"

"Once or twice," smirked the doctor. "He and his brother have the unfortunate tendency to get themselves injured rather gravely."

So Ace _was_ Luffy's brother, Nami reflected with mild surprise. Then she wondered if she'd thought that Ace had lied. _No, not lied—I guess I just thought of it as some kind of joke_. Seriously, how _did_ two boys grow up in the same tiny town as she—one where everyone knew everyone else unless they were just students at the Institute, since those people came and went—and yet she never have seen them before, let alone heard of them? It was so improbable in Fuchsia that Nami felt a headache coming on.

But all such thoughts died like chickens in a slaughterhouse the moment that Dr. Kureha declared, "I'll take pity on you and settle for all the jewelry and other jewels of value that you"-she pointed at Vivi-"and you"-she pointed at Nami-"possess. That ought to be a passable sum, given Nami's love of jewels and Vivi's…ancestry."

The final statement would have caught Nami's attention had her jewels not been in jeopardy.

"But- but they're my jewels! And some of them have… _sentimental_ value!" Nami was using every argument she could think of. "Jewelry and books are all I have left of Mom!"

"And most of the jewels you're thinking of aren't mine to give away," Vivi argued as well.

Dr. Kureha just sat back looking supremely unconcerned—and then she smiled. It looked like the Cheshire Cat's smile from Alice in Wonderland, and both girls went still at once.

"Very well." The doctor grinned up at the girls in a manner that was quite unnerving. "If you can convince Luffy's mother to give me her favorite necklace in payment, I'll spare you both."

Nami an Vivi exchanged a confused look. One necklace? Instead of two girls' full supplies of jewels, which the doctor herself had estimated to total to a considerable sum?

"In any case," Dr. Kureha went on, "you probably won't succeed anyway, since I've been trying to wheedle that thing out of her for years. I'll give you a week to try. If you haven't got the necklace to me by a week from today, you will give me all the jewels you own. But for now, tackle the issue of Kuro. Shouldn't you be tying to find a way to get into that study and steal those documents away from him before he decides to go destroy them? I'm sure he's aware that they exist."

"Oh!" exclaimed Vivi, jewels forgotten.

Nami sighed in resignation before turning to face the boys, _all_ of whom were now playing the-game-which-was-referred-to-as-and-apparently-based-on-spit-but-was-obviously-not-spit-because-playing-spit-with-five-players-would-be-absurd. She spared a glance for Kaya, wondering how large a toll this stress would exert upon her weakened body. But the girl was sound asleep.

So she turned back to the members playing the-game-which-was-referred-to-as-and-apparently-based-on-spit-but-was-obviously-not-spit-because-playing-spit-with-five-players-would-be-absurd and snapped, "Boys!"

Vivi was impressed at her ability to command all of their attention at once, by shouting that one word.

"We need to get certain papers from Kuro's—I mean Kaya's—manor. We're going to put together a group to do this…preferably one or two people, I think. Understood? Good. Alright! Now, I would suggest Usopp and someone else be the ones to go, since Usopp knows his way around best and runs the fastest."

"I'll go too," Vivi spoke up at once, before Usopp could protest that he had just come down with a terminal illness which would result in the termination of his life the second he entered the manor. "I'm most familiar with the Kuro case, and I'm sure I'll be quickest at identifying the documents we're searching for."

She had a point, but Nami hesitated to agree. The girl had seemed like a nice girl so far, yes, and she had valuable information. But they didn't know her well enough to _really_ judge her allegiance. For all they knew, Vivi could be luring them into a trap. For the same reason, Nami had hoped that the second one to go would be Sanji, since he was capable of fighting—given his history of brawls and the like—and would probably make their chance of escape more likely in the instance that they were caught by guards.

She considered going instead of Vivi, but this would be inefficient as she might be more used to paperwork than the boys, but she would still have to read through everything in the study to find what they needed, and she would be of no fighting value.

Thus Nami came to the conclusion that Vivi had to go. So she tried to think of a way to work around this handicap. She could sent Usopp, Vivi, _and_ Sanji, but Vivi's presence would result in Sanji swooning more than helping. In addition, in the instance that Vivi _did_ turn out to be an enemy, Sanji would doubtlessly be _no help at all_. He would probably offer his hands to Vivi to handcuff.

Sending either Luffy _or_ Zoro was out of the question: Luffy would be too loud and Zoro would get lost, and Vivi and Usopp would be too busy to keep an eye out for them. In which case the best solution would be…

"Alright. Usopp, you're the guide. Just get everyone else where they need to go, and then back out of there again. Vivi, you're in charge of finding the papers we need—I trust that you're more used to this sort of thing, so you won't have to read through everything. Luffy, Zoro, you two just go with them, and if the guards try to attack you, knock them out. And Luffy, make sure that Zoro doesn't get lost: _follow Usopp,_ for the sake of everything good and evil, and drag Zoro along behind you if you have to. Zoro, make sure that Luffy doesn't make a _sound_. We want to be stealthy"-the boys looked blank, and Nami checked herself-"I mean, we want to be very _sneaky_ about this, so just be quiet and make sure Luffy is too. Got it?" They nodded. "Good."

"Great," sighed Zoro, standing and stretching. "I get to beat up people."

"I thought you were only sending two people," Luffy complained.

"Hush," snapped Nami, not all that happy with the size of the party either. Whatever else they may be, they definitely would not be inconspicuous. She could only hope that they wouldn't have any falling outs amongst themselves.

"But I must protect Miss Vivi!" cried Sanji tragically.

"You're staying here and protecting me," Nami snapped in irritation.

Sanji's eyes lit up. "You wish to spend more time with me? Ah, the joy! My love has reached you!"

But Chopper was now looking tragically up at Nami, the only one still sitting at the spit table, and this distracted Nami, for his eyes were so tragically cute, like that of a lost puppy. "I'm not going?" But Nami would not let cuteness or pity sway her.

"No," she replied calmly. "And neither am I. We've already got too many people going as it is. We need quiet and inconspicuous—we can't exactly wage a mini war on them. Not," she added, "that I expect those members to be exactly inconspicuous. But it's the best we've got."

Usopp suggested drawing a floor plan of the mansion and discussing the courses of action which they each were to take before they left, but Nami rejected this idea at once. Usopp already knew his way around, Luffy and Zoro's attention spans would leave the entire discussion flying in one ear and out the other on both of them, and Vivi just needed to find the papers they needed, in which a floor plan would help no one.

So a mere two minutes later, the four who were supposed to go were half-shoved out of the door.

"So…how are we getting in?" Usopp asked once they were all standing on Dr. Kureha's front porch.

"Through the door?" guessed Luffy.

"Climb the wall," Zoro suggested.

"I thought you were here to make decisions like that," Vivi pointed out with a small frown.

Usopp looked hopelessly at Luffy and Zoro, and then helplessly at Vivi, and sighed. "Fine. Follow me, and…I'm sorry if I get us into trouble."

This was not reassuring, Vivi thought as she steeled herself and followed. Luffy and Zoro were beside her.

At the end of the walkway, when they reached the street, Usopp hesitated. Now came the million dollar question: to go straight through the front gate, to go around the back and clamber over the wall, or to find the passageways that Kuro had used?

It only took him a minute to make his decision.

"Right then, we're going into the Institute, so please—act normal, will you?" Usopp winced even as he said this, knowing well that this would probably be a near-impossibility for the pair of boys—"Not that way, Zoro!" "Shh, Nami said to be quiet!" "But you're going the wrong way!"—and maybe even for himself. He looked down at his trembling knees.

Usopp opted not to say anything as they approached the gate. His knees were still trembling, and Luffy and Zoro were still arguing (and growing increasingly louder), but it occurred to Usopp that that might possibly make it seem more as if this were any ordinary walk. Maybe he could blame his shaking knees on the exhaustion of having to sit through the loud, irritating arguments.

As they walked through the gate, Mr. Gen didn't bat an eye. In fact, he looked rather tired today. Well, thought Usopp, all the better for us. They walked straight along the main road as if they were heading to the school. They turned left into the courtyard that served as the entrance to the high school, and there Usopp casually led them inside—and straight through the building to exit twenty yards later on the other side of the building.

"Mr. Usopp—what are we doing?" asked Vivi, now supremely confused.

"Shh!" hissed Usopp. "I'm trying to think. If I could just figure out where it is and how to open it… Hey, Vivi, could you shut those two up and try to keep them from getting separated?"

Luffy and Zoro were yelling now. Nami's idea of having them watch each other was a total failure. _I'm going to rub that in her face like a dirty rag when we get back,_ Usopp thought bitterly.

He knew that there must be a passage somewhere that led to the basement of Kaya's house—that would be their safest method of entry, since earlier the guards hadn't seemed to be inside; only outside.

Usopp stopped and closed his eyes, trying to remember. He had no idea how far he had walked after Kuro had blindfolded him behind the school. He had thought they had been walking in the direction of the faculty housing and the college buidings, but given that he was blindfolded, that didn't have to be true—it was too far off anyway—and logistically, the passageway was probably nearer the wall that separated W.G. Institute and Kaya's property.

Now that he had established that much, he just had to find some sort of entrance. It had been a downwards slope when the light had begun to disappear behind the cloth that covered his eyes, as he recalled. In which case the entrance probably wasn't just a cleverly disguised trapdoor in the dirt.

He looked around. What were the other options? A tree? But the trees were too thin. There would be no space to move before his head had to be underground, and Usopp couldn't remember any sheer drops. The wall itself was unlikely for the same reason.

Unless, he suddenly realized, the passageway went _along_ the wall—if the descent took place within the wall, and then curved in the direction of Kaya's manor after they were underground.

Usopp tried to remember if there had been any curving involved, but it had been so disorienting to walk blindfolded that he had never even known if he was walking straight. Occasionally Kuro would roughly straighten him by turning him by the shoulders, but given that he never knew if he was being straightened because they were turning a corner or because he was wandering off in another direction, this was nothing to go by.

"Feel along the wall," he instructed the other three once they came in sight of the wall. "But don't go far!" he quickly added for the benefit of Luffy and Zoro. "Just feel around and see if you can find some latch or something: there ought to be a secret passageway somewhere around here…"

"How do you know?" asked Vivi, surprised. But nonetheless, she was quick to follow his instructions and begin to feel along the wall for something that might be a latch or a hidden mechanism of some sort.

"Because I have superpowers that usurp everyone else-" No, this wasn't the time for that. Usopp deflated. "I don't. I know that Kuro took me along passages somewhere, but I don't know where. It could be anywhere…"

"Maybe it starts from the other side," Luffy suggested.

Usopp wheeled around, glaring. "Why would you say that?" That was what he had thought initially.

Luffy blinked. "Because I don't see any secret doors here."

Usopp sighed, somewhat let down, but still feeling somewhat smug that he obviously possessed more common sense than this boy who had previously rejected his friendship. "If it's a secret door, you _can't_ see it," he explained, and his superiority made him patient. "Sometimes you can feel it, but sometimes you can't. Just feel around: you know, push and flick and pull randomly, and maybe you'll come across something eventually."

Luffy looked at Usopp long and hard, and for a few moments, Usopp wondered if the boy was going to argue—on what grounds, he was not entirely sure, but Luffy seemed to live in a world that defied all conventional logic, so he suspected that it would be a meaningless, pointless argument that would just be a waste of time.

But Luffy said nothing—merely shrugged and proceeded to do as Usopp had instructed. Relieved yet slightly baffled—and somewhat disappointed that he would not get to set the boy straight again—Usopp heaved a sigh and set back to their task.

It was only to be expected with such a random search based on no solid information but on mere guesswork: by the time ten minutes had gone by, they had only covered three square yards of area on the wall, and Zoro was abruptly straightening with the sort of demeanor that declared to all who would see him that he was fed up.

"I'm done," Zoro declared aloud. Usopp looked at him, wide-eyed and jumpy with alarm and annoyance.

"What do you mean, 'you're done'?" Usopp demanded." We haven't found a _thing_ yet! We've got to keep looking, and quickly, because otherwise-"

"Exactly. We need to hurry," Zoro agreed. The glint in his eyes reminded Usopp why he had feared Zoro Roronoa. Zoro was not merely a strong idiot like Luffy, for though Luffy and Zoro were both mentally morons and physically strong, Luffy was just plain emotionally retarded—otherwise defined as 'permanently happy'—whereas Zoro knew how to redirect his energy into the use of his strength to his advantage. Thus Zoro was capable of being far more malicious than Luffy, and so he was more dangerous.

"Luffy said there was nothing here," Zoro growled, "and there's nothing here. Face it. Now we can just climb over the wall or something."

Usopp's jaw dropped at this protest. "But- but I _know_ there's a passageway here somewhere!" he practically wailed.

"I don't see any," Luffy repeated calmly. "I think they must be on the other side."

Usopp sighed again, this time in total, complete resignation to the world and its hatred for him: such simple logic could become so flawed when it came to Luffy! But Usopp didn't bother arguing, as the point had been made. They didn't have the _time_ to be running around in circles on a meaningless wild goose chase.

"I suppose this means we'll be going in over the wall after all-" Usopp's concession was ruined when Zoro and Luffy both attempted to climb the wall immediately. " _Not yet!_ " Usopp hissed at them, grabbing them both by their collars and dragging them backwards so that they fell down off the wall.

"Why?" asked an obviously puzzled Luffy at the same time as Vivi attempted to begin to explain to them the concept of caution. Usopp appreciated their efforts—Luffy's effort to understand what was going on even though it was quite clearly some distance beyond him, and Vivi's effort to bring peace into their broken group—but this was really going too far.

"Quiet!" Usopp ordered when he felt that the unorderly, loud, obnoxious chaos had continued on quite long enough, thank you very much. It took a few moments for the order to set in, during which time he considered trying to drag them apart, but within the next ten seconds all three had stopped arguing and had focused their attention on Usopp.

"We're going to do this quickly, but quietly," Usopp began at once, forgoing any admonitions he might have liked to deal out, as he realized that his men—and woman—had exceedingly short attention spans. "First, I'll go in with…"

Usopp trailed off for a moment and looked Luffy and Zoro up and down, trying to gifure out which was tougher.

"Zoro. We'll hurry across the yard and find a safe entryway, get inside and hide. Once you see that we're safe—or- or being chased by guards and leading them in the other direction"-he had to add that possibility because he was the mature adult here, but he desperately hoped that wouldn't happen-"then Luffy and Vivi go in."

"So I'll have to watch over the wall while you and Mr. Zoro find a place to hide," mused Vivi, obviously having already taken into account Luffy's total, absolute lack of subtlety, and that he would therefore be a terrible choice as the one to be left on the lookout.

"Exactly," Usopp replied, rather proud that at least _someone_ was proving capable of comprehending his brilliant plan. His brilliance would have been wasted if it had been left up to Luffy and Zoro.

"But then what do we do if they see us first?" Vivi wondered. Usopp hesitated, considering this. That would, indeed, prove problematic, since his plan relied entirely on the guards not noticing them. He need not have thought so hard on how to remedy this issue, however, for Luffy spoke up almost immediately.

"We run the other say," Luffy declared quite calmly.

Usopp blinked. "Why?" was his instinctive response so he went with that, but after he asked it, he discovered that that word alone felt completely inadequate to express his total, utter lack of comprehension of that plan. So he went on. "You should try to find another way in, not totally abandon the mission!"

Luffy looked at Usopp, cocking his head slightly to the side as he stared thoughtfully (could Luffy ever even _be_ thoughtful?) at him. Luffy was silent, so finally Usopp dismissed his unease and turned back to Vivi.

"Just don't let that happen, okay? Now come, Zoro!" With that, he ordered Zoro to the top of the wall. Zoro glared but obeyed, and reported that the coast was clear.

And they climbed over the wall. However, the guards were quick to hear the thud of feet landing on the other side, and three came rushing around the corner at once. Usopp screamed bloody murder, courage running out instantly as he dove to hide behind Zoro. Unfortunately, this apparently alerted more guards to their presence, and five more came rushing around the house.

Zoro immediately made for the house and was blocked by two guards, whose bullets he dodged effortlessly and knocked out immediately. Bu when three more came after him, shooting as they went, he was forced to back away, and by the time he leapt back over the wall, his arm was bleeding.

"Not going to work," Zoro panted—Usopp's screams as he ran in circles were still audible. "What do we do?"

"Run the other way," Luffy replied, and taking Vivi and Zoro each by the hand, proceeded to do just that.

"But, wait, Mr. Luffy!" Vivi gasped as they ran around the corner of the high school and proceeded further. Luffy didn't answer, and they had run past the high school altogether by the time she tried again. "What about Mr. Usopp? And you're getting into the Wildlife Preserve! The animal research area is dangerous—there're bears!"

"We'll be alright," Luffy replied, before addressing Zoro's demands as to why he didn't just turn around and fight. "Usopp said to find another way in if we couldn't get in this way."

"But how're we going to enter from-"

Zoro's demand was cut off when Luffy stopped at a stretch of wall where he proceeded to kick it with all his might.

"Ow!" yelped Luffy, clutching his toes. Vivi and Zoro stared at Luffy. Luffy scowled at the wall and kicked it again. "Ow!" Luffy yelped again.

"Is there a reason for this, or-" Zoro was cut off as Luffy kicked the wall a third time, and this time to did not yelp in pain.

Rocks slid aside to reveal a human-sized passage that proceeded both to the left and right. Zoro blinked. Vivi was nervous.

"Mr, Luffy," Vivi asked tentatively, "Do you even know your way around in these passageways?"

"Nope!" Luffy declared cheerfully. "But I'll hope we get to Kaya's house, and maybe we will!" With that, he started down the passageway to the right.

"Mr. Luffy," Vivi tried again, concerned, "If you're not sure, shouldn't we at least head in the direction of Ms. Kaya's house?"

Luffy stopped and looked around, puzzled. "That's what I'm doing."

It was at that precise moment that Vivi realized that while Luffy might have been the one to know where and how to access the passageways, she was probably going to have to be the one to lead them.

"Ms. Nami asked you not to let Mr. Zoro get lost, right?" Vivi pointed out. "So why don't I go first? I'll hold your hand and you'll hold Mr. Zoro's, and maybe this way none of us will get lost."

"We won't get lost because we're holding hands?" Luffy pondered, apparently somewhat puzzled. Vivi held her breath. "Okay."

At this, Vivi breathed a long sigh of relief until Zoro began to argue that he did not want to walk down the hallway like a grade schooler. "It's not because we doubt your ability to get there on your own," lied VIvi. "It's so that we don't get separated in the dark."

So that was how they ended up making their way carefully down the dark passageway to the left. As far as Vivi could tell through all the staircases and turns, it was only a one-way path, and this disconcerted her, for she had expected there to be all manner of forks and branches that she would have to navigate.

When they finally reached the top of a particularly long staircase, they hit a dead end. "No," gasped Vivi, ready to despair.

"Kick the wall," suggested Luffy. Vivi was skeptical, but after a thorough examination of the wall, there seemed no other option, so she did so.

The first attempt felt like it broke her toe. The second hurt her ankle. Luffy then kicked the wall in her stead, and the wall opened to reveal a room containing a desk and a great many bookshelves.

Vivi looked incredulously at Luffy, who grinned and declared, "See? It was easy."

* * *

 

At Dr. Kureha's house, a different sort of crisis was taking place—this one was not quite as dire in the sense that it was not a matter of life and death. In fact, most people in the house were not aware that anything was even wrong.

Nami paced up and down the living room, wondering what she would tell the others. Not the truth, obviously—no, to tell the truth now would be out of the question, because it would worry them and the matter of Kuro was far more important at the present. But on the other hand, she could not afford to miss swim practice today either: the wrath of her teammates was not something that she was prepared to face.

That left only one option, the way Nami saw it: she had to sneak to practice in such a way that would avoid catching anyone's attention. Then she had to sneak back before her teammates realized where she had come from and Dr. Kureha's household realized that she had deserted them in a time of crisis.

 _Oh well_ , she decided. _The lesser of two evils, I suppose_. And that was why she climbed out the window and snuck around the house, through the neighbor's lawn to get to Gosa street, and from there along Kokoyatsu Road for a time until she climbed the wall at the far side of the high school—after all, she did not want to be too close to Kaya's house when she crossed the wall, just in case they were still hanging around there and saw her.

Nami had to jog all the way across the W.G. campus to get to the dorms to retrieve her swim gear, then all the way back to the high school gym, so she only barely made it out of the changing rooms on time.

"That was close, Nami!" called Kuro-Obi from the poolside. "You sure you have the guts to cut it this close?"

Nami stopped a moment to glare steadily at him, but then tossed her hair and squared her shoulders. She wore an expression of practiced disinterest.

"The guts, of course. It's my pride that I won't let you stomp on."

"Pride?" sneered Kuro-Obi. "You try so hard, yet-"

"Oh, just leave it," sighed Choo. "Why do you even talk to her? It's disgusting."

Nami sighed and rolled her eyes as if this was an everyday thing—which, in fact, it was. Kuro-Obi, captain of the swim team, was quick to criticize and victimize her, and Choo, his vice-captain, was hardly any better. Their best friend Hachi seemed to join them in their games more for form's sake than anything, and everyone else on the team awkwardly turned blind eyes to the doings of their captain—not that they knew half the story anyway.

"So?" Nami snapped, impatient with the thought of what could be happening to Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Vivi even as she attended swim team. "Are we going to train, or are we going to stand here talking and snapping at each other's throats?"

"Well, as long as you'll be the victim, that second option does sound appealing," Kuro-Obi leered.

"Oh, do calm down," drawled their coach as he strolled leisurely up to them. "I'm sure our resident kitten has better sense than to let you victimize her, isn't that right, Nami?" Coach Arlong's jibe, lost on most of the team, set the hairs at the back of Nami's neck on end, and she bit her lip to restrain herself from giving Arlong the satisfaction of her anger.

There was only a moment's pause before Arlong declared, "Everyone in the pool, 5 laps for warm-up!"

As she dove into her lane, Nami seethed internally. She could hear the smugness of victory in Arlong's voice, and she wondered, as she had everyday for the past four years, why she had allowed herself to fall into this situation.

* * *

 

The primary fault with Nami's plan lay in the fact that she had not very seriously considered the repercussions of the smuggling party returning before she did two hours later. By the time she returned, they had searched the house for her upside down, and her appearance in the living room with her usual demeanor of casual belonging did nothing to avail the surprise in the eyes of all present—and worse, the suspicion in the eyes of certain members of the party, such as Zoro and Usopp. There were even flickers of something in the eyes of Kaya and Vivi before the two of them erased the looks by what Nami deemed was sheer goodwill.

But the oddest thing was how no one said a thing, because the silence did not continue for more than a second, thanks to Luffy, who went bounding forward to ask of Nami, "Where were you? We searched all _over_ and just couldn't find you!" He didn't bother waiting for an answer. "We found the thing you were looking for, you should've seen Vivi, she was amazing! She just would flip through pages and pages of stuff, and me and Zoro only had to wait for five minutes!"

"Zoro and I," Nami wanted to correct, but there were a few more pressing points just then. "What happened to Usopp?"

His absence from Luffy's brief account was not the only cause for concern; there was also the fact that Usopp had even more bandages wrapping around his person than before, while Luffy, Zoro and Vivi did not, at the very least, appear to have sustained too much physical damage.

"They," Usopp glared vehemently, his indignation overriding his new suspicion of Nami for a few moments, "left me to the wolves and found some other way to get in."

Vivi shifted from foot to foot, for she wasn't entirely certain whether or not she should mention the secret passageways at this point in time. Zoro did not appear to be very interested in the discussion to begin with, and Luffy, to all appearances, found the things too common to be worth any attention. Her indecision gave way to hesitation, and as the talk was now bouncing enthusiastically back and forth in the group, this also meant that there was little chance for her to speak.

"I take it you set up a plan that didn't quite work, then," Nami sighed dramatically. "You know, if you went with 'sneaky' rather than 'brute force'…"

"I tried!" Usopp declared indignantly.

"Indeed," snorted a skeptical Sanji.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Usopp demanded.

"That it's highly unlikely that any plan of yours was remotely subtle."

"I'll have you know that _I_ can be _far_ more subtle than you-"

"Are we telling the story, or arguing over terminology?" yawned Zoro. "If you're arguing, go into another room. I can't sleep."

"What _are_ you?" demanded Sanji. "A bear trying to hibernate? I swear, you just exist to eat and sleep! You're an insult to all humanity!"

"Sheesh," replied Zoro with a roll of his eyes, "That's a nice way to address a potential customer. What are you, on drugs?"

"Boys!" snapped Nami before the situation could erupt into any further chaos.

The ensuing fight was only averted because of Sanji's dedicated determination not to upset a lady; otherwise, there seemed no notable reason why anyone should listen to her. Zoro, at least, seemed determined not to heed her. Nami considered bringing up the debt he owed her, but was afraid to learn how far his suspicion would sink her authority, and so did not do so.

Thus there was still a heavy tension hanging over the group as Usopp recounted his traumatic experience of being chased around by guards for "hours and hours and _hours_ " until the rest of the group arrived and dragged him into the house, out the other side, out the gates, and down the road to Dr. Kureha's place.

Vivi was certain that this would be the part where Nami turned to her for an explanation as to how they had gotten in, and readied herself to explain about the passageways. Nami turned to her; but the documents seemed to be her concern when she asked, "And have you gone through the papers?"

"No," said Vivi, taken aback. "We didn't get the chance, because we were looking for…" She trailed off, uncertain as to whether she ought to have mentioned this, since it appeared that they were all going to be ignoring the fact that Nami had vanished for a time.

Then again, reflected Vivi as realization slowly dawned on her, maybe Nami knew about the passageways to begin with. It would be the most reliable way to disappear and then reappear hours later, as Nami appeared to have done.

The thought made Vivi shudder. Could she trust no one anymore?


	8. Robin C. Nico

The rest of the day was spent in tension and unease, because their little break-in to Syrup Manor had yielded little that they had not already guessed—they had found that Krahadore had been hired a mere two days after Kuro had escaped Alabasta, and that he had been interviewed a month prior to that, which suggested that Kuro had been free to exit and reenter the prison, and had merely been biding his time for an opportunity to escape. While this was unnerving, it was hardly an earth shattering discovery, and with Nami's mysterious disappearance added to that, the group—minus Luffy, Zoro and Sanji, who did not notably care very much—was tense to the bone.

Yet, oddly, they stuck closer together for all this. Vivi and Chopper integrated quickly and naturally into the group, and Chopper was beginning to lose his reservations and speak up more often. Unfortunately, as they were returning to the W.G. campus, one of his louder overreactions to an outrageous story of Usopp's (told in a failed attempt to improve the atmosphere) happened to catch the attention of Miss Nico as she was passing by, and earned all seven of them an almost-detention, averted only by Nami's hasty and frantic apologies. They could not, however, escape a severe talking to about respect for others at hours that may as well be the middle fo the night. Yet even this did not quell the new awkwardness.

Most knew that something was off, but none dared voice it.

The next day would have been much the same, had Luffy not decided to go on a walk at four o'clock in the morning and return at five. He kicked Zoro out of the bed to wake him up, and leaned dangerously far out the window to bang on Nami's window—awakening her poor roommate (Luffy could never remember her name, though he was sure it started with a "k" sound) first, though she was very nice about waking Nami for him if he would just please get back inside before he fell—and demanding that Nami retrieve Vivi without explaining why. Vivi was hastily brought to the window, at which point Luffy all but dragged her and Nami through the two windows into his room (and there was much screaming and shouting which woke half of both dormitories, which will not be elaborated upon because it would take far more time than a thousand angry shouts hurled in all sorts of directions are worth).

Surprisingly (or not, as Nami remarked sarcastically, punctuating each word with a punch to Zoro's head as he fell asleep yet again, standing in the middle of the hallway), when they knocked on the door of Usopp's room, he had not yet woken. He was dragged out of bed by a still-tired Nami who felt the need to express her frustration at being woken at unnatural hours through physical violence, and they headed into town.

By this point, even with Luffy doing little more than bouncing up and down and repeating that they had to hurry because there was something—a very exciting something, apparently—that he needed to show them without ever elaborating on anything at all, they had all figured out that they were apparently gathering the entire "gang" and going somewhere, and had resigned themselves. It was too early in the morning to be arguing with a ball of energy that twisted logic (or abandoned it altogether, as was usually the case) and turned all arguments in his own favor.

They stopped by Sanji's place to pick up an irate Sanji—easily placated by the sight of Vivi and Nami—and by Dr. Hiruruk's place where Chopper answered the door reluctantly, yawning and wiping sleep out of his eyes.

They then proceeded straight to the north of the village where, apparently, they were to head straight into the woods.

At this point Nami drew the line. "No," she declared, stopping short as Luffy charged into the underbrush. "I refuse to get lost in the woods on a whim of yours, because I know you don't have a clue where you're taking us."

"But I do!" Luffy insisted. "Kai showed me this morning!"

About to ask who Kai was, Nami stopped short. If Ace Portgas was Luffy's brother, then in all probability, "Kai" was Kai Zakolski, renowned tomboy and Ace's best friend. That was something, at least, because Nami had faith that Kai was bound to have more sense of direction than Luffy. It was not, however, enough.

"And did she have the sense to leave you with a map, or something else that might help a person get there who is not you?"

"Oh!" Luffy began rummaging through his pockets, pulling out all sorts of odds and ends—"Meat again?" scowled Zoro, seriously disturbed by the green fuzz that was growing on said meat—and finally pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper which he opened and confirmed, "Found it!" and handed it to Nami.

It was stained and crinkled, but still perfectly legible. Nami perused it and sighed.

"We go into the trees further that way, Luffy," she said tiredly, pointing further down the path they were on.

And they all started down the road again, but not as fast as they may have liked, since Luffy kept charging into the underbrush to confirm that there _really_ wasn't a path there yet.

But as it turned out, the point at which the map said there should be a map seemed totally overgrown with underbrush as well. Luffy merely charged into it once again as Nami, Vivi and a skeptical Usopp poured over the map trying to find what they must have missed. But it really was not that complicated a town, so there really was nothing they _could_ miss on the map.

Then Luffy's voice shouted, "Found it!" and they exchanged a puzzled look. Vivi, incidentally, was the first one to brave the underbrush, and when a few seconds later she called, "Yes, there really is a path here!" from somewhere out of sight, the rest followed in single file. There was, indeed, a path behind the bushes—cleverly concealed from the road, Nami noted, which was fairly remarkable.

The path was clearly marked and never branched; it took only a few minutes of walking before they came across a small shack. Said shack was in a state of disrepair, but Luffy looked around in delight as though he had just presented them with a palace. The rest of the group eyed the shack nervously, unconvinced that the structure was not going to come crashing down at any given moment, and worried that Luffy was going to say what they thought he might.

"And what are we doing here?" Nami was the one who bravely put into words the question that was on everyone's mind.

"It's our new gang's hideout!" Luffy grinned proudly. Everyone but Luffy (and Zoro, who had somehow got turned around) gulped and felt the tension rise in the air. There was a moment of silence.

" _Why_ do we need a hideout?" Sanji finally asked with a sigh.

"How are you or Zoro ever going to find this place again?" demanded Nami, pointing to where Chopper was herding Zoro back to the group.

"Are you sure it's alright? I mean...its structural integrity?" questioned Vivi nervously. Luffy stared at her, uncomprehending.

"She means, are you sure it's not going to collapse on us while we're inside?" muttered Usopp.

"You'll fix it, right Usopp?" It was not a question. It was a statement that left no doubt that Luffy _expected_ Usopp to be able to fix it, and would be disappointed if he couldn't. Usopp ignored the pressure.

"I'm not a carpenter!"

"But you're in the architecture class," Luffy pointed out. "Don't worry, I have faith in you! You can do it!" Usopp's eyes lit up.

"I don't," Sanji muttered under his breath, and Nami kicked him in the shin.

"Well then," huffed Nami, "I'm not going in till Usopp fixes it. And I have swim practice to get to."

With that, Nami spun on her heel and stomped off back down the trail.

"I suppose that settles that," sighed Usopp, knowing that between unhappily fixing the shack and ignoring the shack to be confronted by Nami later, he would take fixing the shack any day. "I'll need to go back and get some tools then. And some wood too. And some sheeting to cover the roof..."

* * *

"You're late," came a growl as she exited the locker room. Nami glared up at her coach.

"Well, excuse _me_ for being a model student and sacrificing my own time to help other students around the school. Because to do so was _totally_ my own decision."

"You know that you're not supposed to talk back to me."

"And _you_ know that these restrictions you place on me are ridiculous."

"We can win the championship without you."

"Ah, but not as easily. Not for sure. Hachi and Chuu would have to be in more events if you wanted to secure first place in everything, and you know as well as I do that their stamina isn't the best in the world. Besides, it works in your favor to have a girl on the team. Ever since high school swimming became co-ed, any team that has only boys or only girls on the team is denounced as sexist."

"Indeed. We could still win. We don't need you."

"You don't know that. And you ARE sexist, so the easiest way to hide that is to have me on the team; don't you agree?"

"And here I thought you wanted to leave the team."

"Don't mock me. Like I'd forget that stupid contract."

Arlong growled and closed his eyes in irritation, and Nami seized the opportunity to slip around him and dive into her lane in the pool. Given that they only had four regular members on the team—Kuro-Obi, Hachi, Chuu and herself—each got a lane to him or herself while the rest of the team took the remaining one lane.

When the workout was over two hours later, Nami sighed and moved to return to the locker rooms. However, she found her way blocked by two smirking, large-framed boys.

"Yes?" she inquired tiredly.

"You're _still_ hanging out with Monkey and Roronoa. And now the liar and the dropout have joined the gang, we hear," said Chuu.

"Isn't the model student supposed to try to make the school comfortable for everyone, rather than just for a certain clique?"

"Ah, now, if only that were what you were doing. But we hear about talk of... _friendship_. Just a rumor on the breeze of course. Bound to fade out soon. Unless, of course, you really _are_ spending most of your waking hours with them. In which case, this rumor would count as a taint on your reputation, don't you think?" chuckled Kuro-Obi.

Nami felt the fury build in her. "Fine! You want me to avoid them? That's hardly model student behavior, but if you insist, I will!"

"Uh-uh-uh," said Chuu, blocking her way as she tried to step around them into the locker room. "You're smarter than that. Suddenly pulling away would be too...obvious. You have to drift away over the next few days. Happens all the time, friendships naturally ending."

"Like this is natural," hissed Nami. And then she hastily added, "And they aren't my friends."

Chuu and Kuro-Obi just smirked at her.

Nami growled and pushed past them into the locker room, where she proceeded to take a shower that was so hot that it scalded her skin. Swimming wasn't even that important. Why had she even signed the contract in the first place?

* * *

It was in history the following day that the incident occurred.

"Do you guys feel like Nami's been acting weird since yesterday? hissed Usopp when Miss Nico's back was turned. He didn't realize until after speaking that this may have been a bad idea—no signal he could send got across to Luffy in time.

"Why?" asked Luffy loudly, blinking.

Usopp sank in his chair and pretended not to exist while Miss Nico turned on Luffy.

"Why what, Mr. Monkey?" she asked.

Luffy, realizing his mistake, averted his eyes and declared that it was nothing. Miss Nico stared him down for a moment, and then sighed.

"Class is almost over anyway," she said with a glance at the clock. "Why don't you all go to lunch early?"

There was a moment of silence, in which the class attempted to gauge whether the apocalypse had come and gone. Upon determining that she really _had_ given them leave to go early, they stopped caring about whether or not the world had ended and began to snatch up their things and run out before Miss Nico could change her mind and call them back; or worse, assign homework.

But as Luffy made to leave with Usopp and Zoro, Miss Nico called, "Not you, Mr. Monkey—I'd like a word with you."

Usopp gave Luffy a sympathetic look. "We'll wait outside," said Zoro, yawning.

After the door closed behind them, Robin sat down at her desk. "So, Mr. Monkey." She looked up at him sharply, and Luffy gulped. "You weren't listening at all today, were you?"

Luffy didn't reply, but apparently, Miss Nico didn't need a reply to confirm what she already knew.

"Did you understand anything we've been studying this week about World War I?"

"Nope."

"Nothing at all?"

"It was a big war."

Miss Nico sighed. "Why don't I try explaining this differently." A thoughtful pause. "You like pirates, right?"

"Yeah!" replied Luffy enthusiastically.

"So pretend that each country is a pirate crew."

Luffy considered this. "Why are the pirates on land?"

Miss Nico smiled. "Pirates can claim areas under their protection, right?" Luffy nodded, comprehension dawning. "Britain, France and Russia"-Robin pointed these regions out on the world map as she spoke-"are allies. Germany, Austria-Hungary, and the Ottoman Empire are allies. In general, these two groups don't get along."

"What about all the other places in between?"

"Some are more loosely allied with one side or the other; others aren't allied to either."

"Okay."

"Serbia was a part of Austria-Hungary that wanted to break off."

"Break off?"

"Become their own countr- I'm sorry, become their own pirate crew."

"But isn't that a betrayal?"

"Austria-Hungary saw it that way. But Austria-Hungary also had so much territory that Serbia didn't feel particularly attached to it."

Luffy looked blank.

"Austria-Hungary was a pirate crew. Its captain Franz Joseph had so many people in his crew that he had to put everyone on a lot of different ships. Serbia was the little ship at the edge of it all, that had been fending for itself for long enough that it didn't care about Austria-Hungary anymore."

"That's Austria-Hungary's fault!" said Luffy, and Robin smiled to note that he had understood.

"The Serbian people were angry, and killed Franz Ferdinand, who was Franz Joseph's cousin. Austria-Hungary wasn't sure whether it would be a good idea to attack Serbia, because Serbia had Russia on its side. If Austria-Hungary attacked Serbia, Russia and all its allies might come and attack Austria-Hungary in return. So it turned to Germany, and asked what it ought to do."

Luffy sniffed, looking very displeased.

"Germany suggested making Serbia an offer: Austria-Hungary wouldn't attack Serbia, and in return Serbia had to agree to a number of terms. The terms that Austria-Hungary named were ridiculous, and almost seemed designed so that Serbia would have to deny it."

"Ridiculous how? What terms?"

"Oh, a number of things," said Miss Nico. "Austrian police would be patrolling Serbia. Subjects taught in school would be adjusted to avoid anything that might make people angry at Austria-Hungary. All groups that were against Austria-Hungary had to be broken up. Serbia wouldn't be allowed to publish anything against Austria-Hungary."

"But that's not fair!" protested Luffy.

"No," smiled Miss Nico, "but that was the point remember?"

"So did Serbia accept it?"

"Of course. They knew they'd be attacked if they didn't."

Luffy sighed. "I don't think I like either of them very much."

"But Serbia didn't want Austrian police, so they refused that term. Austria-Hungary was surprised that they'd agreed, and Germany encouraged them to simply attack anyway. So they did."

"That's just _mean!_ " exclaimed Luffy, crossing his arms and huffing.

"Serbia, of course, called Russia to help, and Russia came. France had agreed to attack any enemy of Russia's, so France attacked Germany and Austria-Hungary as well."

"From both sides? That's gotta be rough. But wasn't the Br- Pr- the little island up there supposed to fight too?"

"Britain didn't particularly want to join the fight yet," said Miss Nico, amused that Luffy had actually managed to remember the alliances. "But Germany had a plan—it would defeat France quickly, and then rush over to fight Russia so that it wouldn't have to fight on two sides at once. The fastest way was through Belgium, which had said it was neutral."

"What's wrong with that?"

Miss Nico smiled wryly. "They hardly were nice enough to just walk through."

"You mean they attacked Belgum?"

"Belgium, and yes. Britain got angry at this-"

"As he should have!"

"Britain is usually a she. She joined the fight, and sometime later the Ottoman Empire did the same."

"And then?"

"And then the fight got very messy, but that's as far as we went today."

"Aw... You should tell the stories like this in class! It's much more interesting!"

"I'm considering it. If I can keep you entertained, I'm sure the class will be enthralled."

Luffy laughed.

"There's some sort of ruckus in the hallway. I believe your friends are growing tired of waiting."

"Right!" said Luffy, heading for the door. "Thanks, Miss whats-your-name!"

"Miss Nico."

"Right, that!"

* * *

Nami wasn't sure whether or not she ought to be heading down the hall for the junior history classroom. But she had been avoiding them all morning, and it would have been suspicious if she hadn't shown up for lunch.

 _Then again,_ thought Nami, _maybe I_ want _them to notice._

But that was a bad idea, she knew. Still, on some level her subconscious must have been determined to show her friends that something was wrong, because by the time she reached the classroom, class was long over and the halls were deserted...except for Usopp and Zoro. The pair were leaning casually against the wall across from the classroom door.

"Where's Luffy?" asked Nami, ignoring the knot in her stomach that had formed at the sight of the two of them.

"In there," replied Usopp with a jerk of his head towards the classroom door.

"The lady wanted to talk with him after class," yawned Zoro.

"Why?" Nami despaired. "What did he do this time?"

"More like what he didn't do," snickered Usopp. "Like listen." And after a pause, he added, "Or comprehend."

"As if you were any better," said Zoro. "I saw you say something to him."

"Hey, I at least understand the class material!"

"And yet you're running a C average."

"You're one to talk! And you need more than just understanding to get a good grade in that class! All those dates and names are confusing!"

"So you _don't_ understand the material." Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up!" Usopp said, and turned away to hide the flush on his face. "How long are they taking in there? Is she trying to explain the entire textbook to him?"

As if on cue, the door opened and Luffy stepped out, closely followed by Miss Nico.

"I'm so sorry!" said Nami, rushing up to Miss Nico.

Miss Nico looked down at Nami, and her expression was unreadable. She cocked her head to the side, and a faint smile formed at her lips. "And why would you apologize on Mr. Monkey's behalf, Miss Mikan? I shouldn't think that being Mr. Monkey's tutor makes his behavior your responsibility. Even by the harshest of standards, his unruly behavior could hardly be construed to be a blemish on your reputation."

Nami blinked. Something about that statement had seemed somehow...implicative of something deeper. Or perhaps it was the look in Miss Nico's eyes—serious and boring into Nami's eyes, as though trying to convey something. And the use of the term "reputation" in that context besides...it almost seemed as if Miss Nico were trying to convey that she knew of Nami's contract with Arlong. Or perhaps Nami was simply paranoid and reading further into a simple statement than she should be.

Miss Nico had already turned her attention to Usopp and Zoro. "And how is Miss Syrup doing today?"

"Better..." stuttered Usopp. Then, surprised, he dared to ask, "But why?"

"Oh, just something about a ruckus at her house day before yesterday," smiled Miss Nico.

"Where did you hear about that?" demanded Usopp, forgetting to be frightened of the history teacher.

"Just something the headmaster was muttering this morning. I expect he'll be at his home this evening, puzzling over it all." She smiled at them, and then turned to walk away.

At the corner, however, she suddenly turned back to them. "It's a shame—legally nothing can be done about any situation on mere suspicion, and yet more often than not the people in trouble will not say anything until it's too late." That said, she disappeared around the corner.

"That was...odd," commented Usopp.

"To say the least," Nami replied absently. She was staring at the corner, eyes narrowed. She was no longer questioning whether or not Miss Nico was implying something, but how deep those implications ran.

"Was it?" asked Luffy, looking up from where he was busily drawing on a sleeping Zoro's face.

"Luffy...!" said Nami, caught between frustration and laughter.

When Usopp began to snicker, Nami joined him.

"Wake up, Zoro," said Luffy, poking him. "We can go eat now."

Zoro rubbed his eyes. "What're those two laughing at."

"You," chirped Luffy happily.

"What, why?" grumbled Zoro, pulling himself back to his feet. Luffy only snickered and pointed at Zoro in reply.

Nami was temped to let Zoro walk around that way until he noticed of his own accord. But she was already walking a fine line with the swim team; she knew that she couldn't risk any more tarnishing of her reputation. Her amusement faded.

"Your face," she said resignedly. Usopp protested loudly against her willingness to give up the game, and she kicked him in reply. "Luffy drew on it while you were asleep."

"Luffy," growled Zoro. The glare he turned on Luffy would have shriveled anyone else—it made Nami and Usopp shudder, and it wasn't even trained on them—but the happy-go-lucky boy didn't even seem to notice. "I'll get you for this later." That said, he stomped off—presumably to find a bathroom to wash it off his face.

"No way are you going off on your own," snapped Nami. "Usopp, go with him. Luffy and I will wait here."

Usopp grumbled unhappily. Then they saw Zoro make a wrong turn into a closet, and Usopp rushed after him cursing that utter lack of any directional sense.

"Is something bothering you, Nami?" asked Luffy after a moment's silence following Usopp dragging Zoro around a corner.

Nami, eyes wide, spun on the spot to stare at Luffy in surprise. Of all the people she had thought might have noticed anything off, Luffy had not been one. "Of course not," she replied with a quickly forced smile.

Luffy looked at her steadily, and she tried to meet his eyes.

"Really, I'm fine," Nami said with a smile.

Luffy continued to look at her for another moment before he shrugged. "If you say so."

Nami wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned.

"We're back!" announced Usopp, skidding around the corner. "Let's go eat, I'm starving."

Nami rolled her eyes. "Fine, then. Lead on."

"Hey, me first!" yelped Luffy, tearing after Usopp.

Nami found herself briefly wondering whether she could just ignore Arlong. She could remain where she was—happy, with _friends_ —and Arlong couldn't stop her without actually committing a crime that would get him thrown into jail.

But a moment later, she shook off the thought, knowing that it was hardly that simple a matter. She shook her head as though to toss away the thought, and rushed after the others.

* * *

It was past ten that night that Nami snuck out of her dormitory. Conis was sound asleep by then, and more than anything Nami was determined not to wake her. She was taking a risk based on the possibility that there might be someone who might be able to get her out of that ridiculous contract. But if she failed to find herself so convenient a situation, the harm to her reputation would be final as far as Arlong was concerned.

She snuck out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs and out of the building. She scurried up the road, heading straight for faculty housing. Nami's familiarity with the campus had never been more useful, for campus was dark and she could not see more than a yard ahead of her. But she didn't need visibility, because she knew where she was headed as if she had been there a thousand times before. She dashed straight from the dormitories along the path until she saw the faint glow of windows. She passed the surprisingly dimly lit faculty lounge; a glance inside gave her a glimpse of Mr. Red and Mr. Cutty seemingly engaged in a most important discussion. She tried to remember if the 9 o'clock curfew applied to important administrators as well, but couldn't remember—and it wasn't terribly important, anyway. She could see the path she needed in the glow from the windows of the row of houses.

She kept an eye on the left side of the path as she passed the faculty lounge. When she had passed about three houses on her right, she saw what she had been looking for on her left: another path. From there, she counted the second house on her right. She squinted at the name plaque in the faint light just to be sure, and found herself rather relieved to see the name she had been expecting.

She opened the gate and walked up to the front door. She took a deep breath and swallowed. Then she knocked.

The door opened at once, as if the resident of this house had been standing right there on the other side, waiting for her.

"Come in," said Sir Crocodile.

Nami swallowed again, and followed him inside. Suddenly, she didn't know what to say and wondered if it hadn't been the best idea to come here. She followed her host through a doorway in what appeared to be the living room. A number of large easy chairs were positioned around a coffee table.

"Sit," said Sir Crocodile, indicating a chair.

Nami sat, and Sir Crocodile took the seat across from her. Silence reigned, but only for a moment.

"I understand that there are...a number of problems that you can assist me in solving," said Sir Crocodile as he absently took out a cigar case from his inside pocket.

Nami blinked.

"Me?" she squeaked. "Help you?"

Sir Crocodile smirked as he put a cigar in his mouth, returned the case to his inside pocket, and struck a match. "I suppose," he said around the cigar, holding the lit match to the end of the cigar, "that from your perspective I would be assisting you. Either way, you tell me what you know, and a whole lot of problems can be solved."

Nami didn't like the way he put it, but she also feared for what might happen if she spoke frankly and displeased her host.

Sir Crocodile seemed to see her dilemma, and began to laugh. "Don't think of me as your headmaster, if that makes it easier. Think of me as...a person with connections, who shares interests with you."

"And what, exactly, are the interests that we share?"

"We both need Arlong subdued...and Kuro arrested."

Nami's eyes widen. "You know about...both of them?"

"I don't know," said Sir Crocodile. He was lounging in his chair, but somehow managed to make that simple action look intimidating. "I suspect strongly. If I knew, I would have proof and wouldn't have to resort to asking you here."

"So you asked Miss Nico to invite me here?"

"Miss Nico, is it?" he said, seeming somewhat amused. Nami wondered if another teacher was supposed to have dropped the hints. "But yes, that is, simply speaking, the case."

"As I understood it...you just need some form of proof?"

"Indeed. Whatever form your agreement with Arlong took, a record of that would suffice. As for Kuro...well, I would have preferred to get a summary from someone like Kaya Syrup or Usopp King, but you'll do just as well."

"Why?"

Sir Crocodile blinked as if that was the last thing he had expected her to say. "I beg your pardon?"

"Why do you want these things? What do you get if Kuro is captured, or Arlong is fired?"

"I don't want to fire Arlong. More like...curb those unappealing aspects of his personality. As for Kuro, his existence in this village is a problem for everyone in this village. I would have figured that you would know that. He means to kill you and your friends, after all, for learning who he is."

Nami felt her blood run cold. "How do you know this?"

"I couldn't say. I tend to hear things like this."

A pause. "What can you do for me about Arlong if I hand you the contract?"

Sir Crocodile inhaled deeply, and then exhaled a large puff of smoke. "Don't you think it would be plenty if he knew that you had a headmaster behind you?"

"I suppose," said Nami with more conviction than she felt. It was like telling on a classmate to the teacher. Perhaps Arlong would get off her case, but he would hate her for it, and watch for the first opportunity to put her through hell. Kuro, on the other hand—that she knew was a situation where a powerful adult would be highly desirable. "Alright; I'll give you the papers. Shall I hand them in to Miss Califa tomorrow?"

"No; ask Miss Califa to let you through to my office. You'll hand them directly to me." Sir Crocodile stood.

Nami followed his example, feeling somewhat bewildered. She had broken curfew for _this_? It didn't feel as though anything had been accomplished. But Sir Crocodile was not a person one crossed, so she followed him out to his front door and stepped through the doorway.

"One more thing—all other rules that Arlong forces on you are absurd and unreasonable; however, he is correct on the point of Luffy D. Monkey. It would be in your best interests to terminate that friendship...though not for Arlong's reasons."

The door was closed in her face before she could ask a thing.

Nami scampered back to the dorms feeling bewildered and cheated. Arlong was a greedy, selfish bastard who was—at least as far as Nami was concerned—open about his prejudices and intentions. Sir Crocodile was much more cunning. Nami wasn't sure that she wasn't jumping out of the pot and into the fire.

She didn't sleep at all that night.

* * *

Nami was woken at four o'clock in the morning—again—by a ruckus. Even groggy with sleep, she instantly knew the first place to look for the source of said ruckus. As she dragged herself out of bed, a quick glance across the room told her that Vivi was still sound asleep. When she peeked through the curtains, she sighed softly to realize that the ruckus was, indeed coming from the open window facing hers.

Quickly opening the window, Nami broke her own rule by scrambling across to the other room. Usopp's panicked, incoherent babbles didn't so much as pause as she leaned across the gap to pull her own window half closed, and then close the boys' window and draw the curtains. Only after the room was as secure as it could be did Nami spin around and deal blows to the heads of the three boys.

"Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?" she hissed. "If something is wrong, Usopp, be calm and concise."

Usopp took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and said, "Kaya's gone. Mansion's deserted."

There was a brief silence following the statement as the three other parties digested this piece of information.

Surprisingly, it was Luffy who took the lead. "Right, we need to get everyone together. Nami, call Chopper. Vivi's in the girls' dorms, right? Can you go wake her up too? And Usopp, you call Sanji. We'll meet at the mansion."

So it was that in less than ten minutes, the party of seven was gathered at the grand front entrance of Syrup Manor.

"Are you sure it's alright to just...walk in?" asked Chopper, trembling in fear.

"Probably," said Usopp, but the boy was having trouble taking a single step forward.

"It's fine," yawned Zoro. "If there's anyone around, Luffy and I can take care of them."

"What am I, a muffin?" snapped Sanji. "I can fight just as well as you can, shit-head!"

"I'd have gone with a loud mangy mutt, but the muffin analogy might be more fitting."

"At least _I_ don't attack everything that _moves_. Do you think the entire school hasn't heard about your fight with a little vacuum cleaner?"

Zoro went red. "That vacuum cleaner is a creature of terror."

"It's not even _alive_. Do you have any idea what the term 'creature' means? Oh, wait—you're not even able to graduate. I suppose you wouldn't."

"You're one to talk, drop-out!"

"You-"

Two loud smacks later and the two teens were flat on the ground with an irritated Nami standing over them. "We have more important things on the board right now than your petty little squabbles. Luffy's already gone in; care to follow?"

One step in, and Nami, Vivi, Zoro and Sanji were all thrown back out the doorway when Usopp and Chopper gave terrified squeals and leaped backwards.

"Why don't you two just wait outside?" grumbled Sanji.

" _Alone!_ " screeched Usopp and Chopper. Sanji covered his ears. The other three made use of the opportunity to enter the mansion.

"Nothing," said Luffy, sliding down the banister of the grand staircase. "Nothing anywhere."

"Except a mess," said Nami, crinkling her nose.

Vivi said nothing, and only proceeded to the nearest door to peer in. She closed her eyes against the sight of furniture ripped to shreds and all manner of objects cluttering the floor.

"This is horrible," said the girl quietly. "Do you think that Kuro did this?"

"Or someone he's in league with," suggested Sanji, walking in as calmly as he could with Usopp and Chopper clinging to his legs like dead weights.

"But what could he want?" whispered Nami. The ominous feeling she had had before going to bed was reinstating itself in her breast, and she wondered if she hadn't done precisely the _wrong_ thing by consulting with Sir Crocodile.

All conversation and thinking came to a staggering halt when a bright light suddenly shone through the windows. The voice that followed was distinctly magnified by speakers.

"THIS IS THE POLICE. DROP YOUR WEAPONS, HOLD YOUR HANDS UP AND EXIT THE BUILDING, OR WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO FIRE."

The seven teens froze on the spot. In an instant, every one of them (except Luffy, who was looking at the windows with a politely puzzled expression) realized what had happened. They had been framed.


	9. Kuro

" _Crap,_ " said Sanji under his breath fiercely.

"Oh no—what do we do?" groaned Usopp.

"We can talk to them—they'll understand!" said Chopper hopefully.

"Yes!" agreed Nami quickly. "That voice is Mr. Gen's—he's like a father to me and my sister, he'll listen to us and understand!"

"You can't be sure," said Vivi, shaking her head. "Kuro couldn't have done everything alone—that means that he has friends here. If those friends are in the police force, one person's objections aren't going to make enough of a difference to save us."

"And we don't have _time_ to be arguing with the police and going to court," added Luffy. "We've got to find Kaya!"

"The passageways," said Usopp. Everyone glanced at him once, and then began rushing for the stairs. "That's the wrong staircase!" cried Usopp, and began to lead the way.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" one or two people muttered under their breaths as they all turned to follow Usopp.

They were in the basement, and Luffy was opening a secret passageway behind a wine cupboard when they heard the _bang!_ of the door opening.

"Damn it," cursed Nami, and looked around just to make sure that everyone was present.

Zoro was not.

" _Damn it_ ," Nami cursed again, and rounded on Sanji. "Sanji, go find Zoro and get him through this doorway. Just get into the passageways and everything will be fine."

"Yes, Miss Nami!" Sanji said at once, without a word of anger at being forced to go and retrieve the bane of his existence.

The remaining five slipped into the passageway and Luffy closed the cupboard behind them.

"Do you think Zoro and Sanji will be alright?" whispered Chopper.

"Yep!" chirped Luffy.

"They'd better be," said Nami.

"What if Kuro and Kaya are hiding in these passageways?" said Usopp suddenly.

The group froze. "You're saying that we may have jumped out of the pot and into the flames?" squeaked Vivi.

"Um, yeah."

Another silence. Then, "It'll be alright," said Luffy.

"Do you even comprehend what it means to be in _danger?_ " Nami snapped, whacking the boy over the head with a fist. "We could die here. One wrong step and we could be lost in these tunnels, so you'd better know your way. But with Kuro in here as well, we'd have been better off turning ourselves over to the police—at least then we would have been safe!"

Luffy looked at Nami for a moment, and then chuckled.

" _What?_ " demanded Nami.

"You're the usual Nami again," replied Luffy.

"What do you mean, the 'usual' Nami? Are you suggesting that I haven't been me lately?"

"You were all gloomy and cautious," shrugged Usopp.

"Don't you think we should start moving and discuss this later?" Vivi spoke up with a fearful glance towards the cracks of light that indicated the entrance from which they had entered the passageway.

Indeed, when they fell silent, they could hear muffled voices growing louder beyond the wall.

"Right, you're leading, Luffy," Usopp whispered. "And you'd better not get us lost."

"Should we go to the dorms?" asked Luffy.

"No!" hissed Vivi fiercely. "If they already know that they're looking for us, that's the first place they'll look!"

"Then wouldn't it be better if we were there, rather than not there at four thirty in the morning?" suggested Nami.

"We need to get _moving_ …" groaned Chopper as the voices came closer to the passageway.

"Right, everyone, grab a hand. Let's go!" said Luffy, and started off down the passageway.

"Where're we going?" asked Usopp after they were some distance away from the murmur of the police's voices.

"In a random direction."

"Are you trying to get us all lost? How is _that_ going to solve anything?" snapped Nami.

"Yeah, we need to find a place to sit and plan!" hissed Usopp.

"No," said Luffy, and his voice was harder than they had ever heard it before. "We need to find Kaya. And she's probably in the passages, so we're just going to wander around until…"

Luffy trailed off and slowed to a halt, and Chopper peeked around behind him to see what had caused the distraction.

They had come upon a place where there was a small amount of light filtering into the passageway in a line that seemed much like the shape of a door.

"Is that a way out?" whispered Usopp, nervous.

"I don't remember there being anything there," Luffy said thoughtfully. On that note, he walked up to the door-shaped area and (ignoring the hissed protests of Nami and Usopp behind him) pushed. Nothing happened. Then he groped around, and upon finding a handle, he pulled. The door opened.

* * *

" _My_ fault? Like _hell_ it's my fault! You might recall that _you_ got lost and _I_ had to come looking for you!"

" _Right_. Because it was _my_ idea to go into the closet where we'd have nothing to do but wait for the police to find us."

It was growing more and more difficult to remember to keep his voice down. Sanji thought of beautiful women in an attempt to remain calm.

"No; it was _your_ idea to run into the _bathroom_." Sanji lowered his voice to a hiss—venomous, but still not loud.

"At least there would have been a _window_."

"Like _hell!_ " snapped Sanji.

"Don't you have any better comebacks?"

Whatever Sanji may have said was lost when the closet door opened.

"Hello," said Sir Crocodile. "For the record, next time you're trying to hide, you should remember to keep your arguing minimal. Or better yet, not argue at all."

" _Now_ look what you've done," said Zoro out of the corner of his mouth.

"Me! _Me!_ "

"Gen," said Sir Crocodile, and Officer Gen suddenly had stepped forward and grabbed them both by their collars.

"Save the fighting for another time, boys," said Gen. "For now, you're coming with us."

* * *

"How _interesting_ to see you all so soon," purred Kuro. "Not to mention how _convenient_."

"Kaya!" cried Usopp, forgetting all about his terror and leaping forward.

A flicker of light reflecting, and Usopp was writhing on the ground, blood seeping from a cut just above his collarbone.

"Tsk," said Kuro. "I'm out of practice."

" _Usopp!_ " cried Nami, and Vivi had to catch her by the arm to keep her from jumping after Usopp.

"The hell?" said Luffy, and his tone of voice made Nami and Vivi turn and stare. It was hard—cold. "You think that you can hurt my friends and get away with it, you bastard?"

Kuro turned cold eyes on Luffy. "I would ask who you think you are, but I don't suppose it will make any difference to me."

"It better make a difference," growled Luffy, leaping forward before anyone could stop him, "because I'm ending your little gig!"

There was a flicker of silver, and Nami and Vivi screamed in unison as the blade that had sliced Usopp's neck headed for Luffy.

A moment later, the scream had died in their throats, and Kuro was staring at Luffy incredulously—Luffy, who had caught Kuro's wrist with the blade a mere fraction of an inch away from his throat.

"You end here," said Luffy, and this time Kuro paled.

A twist of the arm later, Kuro was free and moving swiftly into another attack. Luffy, who apparently had not expected this, leapt out of the way just in time. But Kuro was already aiming a kick, and Luffy's first step became a leap as he moved out of the way of the kick.

"Oh no, oh no," Chopper was muttering under his breath.

"Don't mutter, do something!" snapped Nami.

"But what?" moaned Usopp, who had sat up and was inching towards the wall, holding a hand to his neck to stem the flow of blood. "What the _hell_ are we supposed to do, Nami?"

Nami did not seem to be listening, for she was suddenly by Usopp's side and preoccupied with swiftly producing a strip of cloth (torn from his sleeve, Usopp would realize with dismay a few moments later) and using it to stem the blood flow.

"Lean back," said Nami, "and try not to move."

"Why the hell are you so _calm!_ " snapped Usopp. "You were _screaming_ a second ago!"

Nami glared at him, and his mouth snapped shut. "Take a look at Luffy," she said with a jerk of her head; Usopp moved to turn his neck to do so, but was quickly stopped by Nami's hands in a vice grip on either side of his head. "Don't turn your _neck,_ moron, it's _bleeding_!"

"You told me to _look_ ," protested Usopp, but just then Luffy and Kuro came into view, and he understood. For Luffy was parrying every blow, and even returning one or two of his own. The glint of the blade was no longer anywhere to be seen.

"Can't you see we're busy here?" snapped Nami as the fight came a little too close for comfort. "It's not like we can just pick up Usopp and _move_ him!"

Usopp was about to say something about respecting a man's fight when Luffy's voice came around Kuro, "Sorry Nami!" and suddenly Kuro was flying through the air to the other side of the room, Luffy quickly running to deal another attack before the man got back to his feet.

"No!" cried Usopp. "Kaya! Luffy, get _away_ from Kaya!"

Luffy swiftly maneuvered so that he was on Kuro's back, Kuro in a headlock. "Look," he said with an irritated sigh, "I'm not allowed to deal people serious harm. Something about being a black belt and being a human weapon or something, I don't really understand, but anyway, I need space to knock this guy out without really hurting him! There's not enough room in here to not be on either side!"

"Can't you sort of localize the fight in the middle of the room?" squeaked Chopper, who had been peering at the fight from between the fingers that were covering his eyes.

"Let go!" gasped Kuro, "Can't…breathe!"

Luffy looked like he was about to let go when Usopp snapped, "Don't you dare, not that close to Kaya!"

Luffy looked helplessly at the girl who lay bound, gagged, and apparently unconscious on the floor nearby. Well, she was no help at all.

"But don't you dare come this way either," snapped Nami, "Usopp's bleeding's just beginning to stop, and I won't forgive you if you make it start again."

"You're really not making this easy," said Luffy crossly.

"Is that my _sleeve!_ " screamed Usopp, realizing that his arm was bare when he turned his head to check on Kaya.

"I told you _not_ to move your head, can't you follow simple instructions?" snapped Nami, grabbing his head and moving it back into place.

"Look," said Vivi, sounding intensely irritated. "The guy's a fugitive, a kidnapper, and a fraud. Just hit him over the head and knock him out."

"Can't…breathe!" hissed Kuro, sounding to be in intense pain.

"My _sleeve!_ " protested Usopp.

"But I'm not allowed," said Luffy, "And what's a futitive? A frad?"

Suddenly, Vivi's eyes went cold and furious, and everything went still in the room. Then she stalked forward to the mesh of limbs that was Kuro and Luffy. The gang behind her only saw her foot leave the ground and heard a dull _thud_. Luffy saw nothing but a shift in her position, followed by an impact to Kuro's body accompanied by a _thud_. Then Kuro went limp, and Luffy released him and stepped back as he collapsed to the floor.

"Wow," said Luffy, looking at Vivi with a new respect. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Did she just…?" said Nami, temporarily forgetting about Usopp's cut.

"Ow," whimpered Usopp and Chopper in unison, cupping their own groins at the mere thought of the impact of Vivi's knee.

"Basic self-defense," said Vivi with a smile. "And I don't have any certification in martial arts."

"Great, but can someone untie Kaya and tie up Kuro before he wakes up and kills us all?" snapped Usopp.

"Right," said Chopper, running to Kaya's side to check her vitals as he removed the gag, ropes, and blindfold. "She's alright, just unconscious," he reported.

"Vivi, can you carry Usopp by the hands? I'll carry him by the feet."

"Carry him where?" asked Luffy absently, rather distracted by his current preoccupation of pulling Kuro's hair.

"Stop that, you'll wake him up!" said Nami. "And we need to get out of here. Now that we've got Kuro, we should be able to go right back to the mansion, don't you think?"

"What about Kaya?" said Usopp, trying to stand, only to collapse back to his knees.

"Do you have any idea how much blood you've lost?" demanded Chopper, sending him a disapproving look. "Nami and Vivi are going to carry you, and I'll carry Kaya. Just be grateful that he missed the major artery."

"I don't suppose that anyone but Luffy knows the way back?" asked Nami hopefully. She was met by blank stares, and she sighed dejectedly. "I thought not. It just makes me so uncomfortable, knowing that I'm going to be being led back through the dark by a guy who's dragging Kuro by one ankle."

"Why would he drag Kuro by one ankle?" asked Usopp.

"Because that's how he's starting now- I said _stop turning your head_ , are you trying to commit suicide? Because if that's the case I'll just leave you here and not waste the effort saving you."

"Nami…" said Vivi, sounding torn between amusement and objection.

"Come on, Vivi, let's get on our way before we lose them."

* * *

Gen stared at them when they stumbled through the doorway of the police station. "I thought we'd have a bit more trouble finding you," he said.

"So did we," said Nami. "Then we found these, so we thought we'd bring them to you."

Gen shook his head with a sigh, staring at the man that Luffy was carrying over one shoulder (having consented under Nami's insistence to stop dragging him by the ankle once they exited the mansion onto the streets). "I got the evidence, Nami. It's plenty to convict him, so we should be able to get him shipped back to Alabasta within the week."

"Oh, good," said Nami, shifting uncomfortably under the suddenly intense gazes from her friends.

"Your two friends are remarkably tight-lipped," said Gen, oblivious to the tension in the air. "We couldn't get them to say a word."

"Ah," said Nami.

"Here, have a seat- is Usopp _bleeding_? Here, lie down here, I'll call a doctor-"

"No need," Chopper interjected, placing Kaya on the other of the two cots. "I'll look after him."

"Ah," said Gen, and glanced at Nami uncomfortably.

Nami smiled. "He's Chopper Tony, Dr. Kureha's apprentice. Don't worry, he's plenty competent."

"I see," said Gen, relaxing. "I'm afraid I don't meet many people I don't recognize by name in this town. Nice to meet you, Mr. Tony."

"I'm Chopper!" said Chopper, seemingly torn between outrage and euphoria.

"That's a cool expression!" said Luffy loudly, pointing at Chopper's face.

"I'm afraid I have to ask, Luffy…what did you _do_ to Kuro?"

"Wasn't me," said Luffy cheerfully, "It was Vivi!"

Gen turned to stare. "Really?"

Vivi blushed and looked down. "Well, Luffy said he couldn't do anything because he has a black belt in something or another, so he was just holding Kuro still and we were arguing about what to do, and I figured this was the fastest way to resolve things."

Gen stared a moment before averting his eyes and clearing his throat. "I see. May I ask what, exactly, you did?"

Vivi's face, formerly only faintly pinker than usual, at once flushed bright red. "I, er…kneed him…between his legs."

"Ah," said Gen intelligently. Then, after a moment of silence, "Well, I'll go put Kuro into a cell and bring your friends back out."

"They're in _jail cells_?" exclaimed Chopper in alarm.

"No, no," said Gen hastily. "They're just in an interrogation room, being questioned by Sir Crocodile—we wanted to find you before something bad happened, that's all. Don't worry, none of you are in any kind of trouble."

Then with a friendly smile, Gen carried the still-unconscious Kuro out of the room.

"You _told_ him?" hissed Usopp as soon as Gen was gone. "You didn't so much as _discuss_ it with us?"

"Do you trust him?" asked Vivi, looking at Nami with serious eyes. "We know he's got to have at least a few accomplices…"

"Gen raised me and my sister," said Nami crossly. "I'd trust him with my life. But I didn't tell him." She sighed.

"Then _how the hell_ did he know?" demanded Usopp, shooting upright on the cot in alarm.

"Stay _down_ ," said Chopper in annoyance as Usopp's eyes rolled back in his head and Usopp hovered on the brink of unconsciousness for a few moments.

"I told Sir Crocodile last night," Nami confessed after Chopper finished yelling at Usopp about the dangers of not taking it easy after losing large volumes of blood.

" _Why?_ " demanded Usopp, Chopper and Vivi in unison. Luffy appeared to be listening, but he could also have been captivated by the dust in the air. It was never easy to tell with Luffy.

"Well, Miss Nico was dropping all these hints, you see, and so I-"

"Why didn't you discuss it with us?" implored Vivi. "A decision like this… I mean, you had time, didn't you?"

Nami averted her eyes. "Yes, but…there was another issue that I went to discuss with him. One I didn't want you to know about."

The group stared at her. She forced a smile. "Don't worry, I think it must have been resolved by now; if not, I think I've learned enough to do something about it for myself. I'm going to ask you to wait for me to talk about it until it's entirely resolved, though. Just for the sake of my own resolve."

Just then, the door opened and Sanji and Zoro came in, followed by Mr. Gen and Sir Crocodile.

"Miss Nami, Miss Vivi!" cried Sanji, holding out his arms as though he expected them to come running to embrace him. "How _wonderful_ that you are safe! I was so terrified that you might stumble into harm's way because of this asshole's idiocy!"

"Watch it!" snapped Zoro. "I could make mincemeat out of you if I wanted to."

"Oh, is the amateur trying to cook?" smirked Sanji. "Not a great idea, I'm afraid. The food might not even be edible. Can you even tell the difference between dish detergent and vegetable oil?"

"We got Kuro put away!" said Luffy cheerfully, and just like that the fight was over.

"Finally! My darling Miss Vivi shall rest in peace!" cried Sanji.

"She's _safe_ , not _dead_ ," said Nami with a roll of her eyes.

"About time," growled Zoro. "I'm taking a nap now."

"Me too," concurred Luffy. "I'm sleepy."

"Hey, I've been up longer than any of you," interjected Usopp.

"Usopp, stay _still_ , or I will inject you with a paralytic!"

"Seems that you didn't need me after all," said Sir Crocodile lowly as he passed Nami on his way out the door.

Nami spun around to ask what he meant—what about Arlong?—but he was already gone. Well, she had said that she had developed the guts to do it herself. Perfect; she had the opportunity to prove it to herself.

"Sorry, guys, I've got something to do! I'll see you all in a bit at the shack!" And Nami was out the door, pretending she couldn't hear Sanji's ardent (and extensive) declarations that he would accompany her to the ends of the earth—she would be out of sight by the time he finished, after all.

Nami ran through her head the things that she would say and how she would say them as she made her way to the pool. By the time that she reached the swimming coach's office, she already knew what she would say so well that she didn't even need to stop to take a deep breath before she slammed open the door.

Arlong looked up at her in surprise. Good—it would have been terribly anticlimactic if he had been out.

"Look," she said, stomping up to him. "When I signed that contract, I was fourteen. I barely read the thing, Nojiko was struggling with the farm, and I really wanted to swim because that was what Bellemere always loved to watch me do. I didn't know what a protest was, and it seemed like a good deal—I keep up the appearance of a model student, and never miss or arrive late to a practice; in return, I get a place on the otherwise all-boy's swim team, and you provide monthly payments to help us out with the farm.

"But you know what? You can't get me with all that blackmail about bribery and such anymore. I didn't know those things when I signed the contract, and frankly, I don't care what people think of me anymore. When I didn't have friends, keeping up the appearance of a model student seemed important; now…I mean, what's that contract supposed to _be_ anyway? Sure, if I'm a model student, some of that reputation rubs off on the swim team, and by having me on the swim team people can believe that you're not the sexist that you are. But it makes no sense to me that you would _pay_ me for that! I don't even know what I was thinking, agreeing to that anymore!

"So I've come to tell you—I break the contract. You don't have to pay us anymore, and you can tell everyone that I was forcing you to pay me. You can play the helpless victim to my hunger for money. I don't care anymore."

Taking a deep breath, Nami looked up at Arlong triumphantly. To her surprise—and irritation—he merely rolled his eyes as he turned to tape up a box. Now that she took the time to look, she noticed that almost everything in the office was packed in boxes.

"If you want to quit, take it up with your new coach."

"New coach?" asked Nami incredulously.

"You and I aren't the only ones who can blackmail—and we stand no chance against someone who has true _connections_."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?" demanded Nami.

Arlong leaned on one of his boxes and smirked. "Ah, so you _didn't_ know. Maybe you should talk to that friend of yours: Luffy Monkey."

"So, what, you're just leaving? No more making my life miserable?"

"Unfortunately. Now, are you going to get out, or are you trying to make me assault you so that you can have me arrested?"

While the idea sounded tempting, Nami opted to mumble something and step out of the office. What had Luffy _done?_

"Oh, hey, Nami!" Speak of the Devil.

"Why is Arlong being fired, and why he he asking me to talk to you?"

"He was making you unhappy, wasn't he?"

"Well, yes, but what did you _do?_ "

"I tried to talk to him, and he wouldn't listen, so I tried to beat him up, but Shanks caught me, and then I had to explain why, and then that guy ended up fired."

Nami stared. "Shanks as in…Shanks Red? The vice-principal?"

Luffy cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, that vice- vice…something word comes up a lot. But anyway, that's him. He and Makino raised me and Ace."

Nami stared at him, and suddenly the world began clicking into place.

"But none of us had ever seen you because you spent most of your time running around the forest and those passages—that's right, isn't it?"

"Yep!" chirped Luffy.

"Well," sighed Nami, "I suppose that does explain your apparent abundance of connections." She smiled wryly at him. "And it is so… _you_ that you keep trying at everything instead of just talking to Mr. Red."

Luffy gave her a disapproving look. "My problems are mine. It's not fair to ask Shanks to solve them."

"Yes, yes, you're very right," laughed Nami. "Now let's get back to the shack—everyone's probably waiting."

"I want to sleep," argued Luffy.

"You can sleep when we get there."

"But you said it'd fall down."

"So sleep outside."

"I thought you didn't even like the place."

"Look, are we going to argue about this, or are we going to go?"

"Going!"

"Then let's go!"

And somehow, they ended up racing out of the building and down the road in the little town of Fuchsia.


	10. Chapter 10

"And you _really_ can't move any faster?"

"My _neck_. Is _sliced open_. Other people would display some amount of concern."

"But you ran our annual race this morning."

"It's not annual till we've done it two years in a row."

"Why?"

"Luffy…define annual."

"Regular!"

"Usopp, since when were you Luffy?"

"He's wrong anyway."

"He is?"

"Annual means something that reoccurs every year."

"Ohh…"

"Right! It's our annual weekly race!"

"No, Luffy, she said annual means once a year."

"Yeah, so I said weekly."

"You said annual weekly, which makes no sense."

"Usopp, get back to fixing the shack. I want to sleep without the sun in my eyes."

"Oh, you have _no_ right to talk, moss-head! You sleep every hour of everyday! You're an abomination to working people!"

"Sanji, is there a reason why you're not at work?"

"Because I _had_ to see your face, of course, Miss Vivi!"

"I didn't know that that was a reason why you could miss work."

"It isn't, Chopper. Don't believe him."

"I want the shack fixed _now!_ "

"Shut _up_ , Luffy, it doesn't work like that!"

"Well, it _should!_ "

"You can argue with the laws of physics, then. Good luck."

"The what?"

"Perfect! Get out your physics homework."

"Na- _mi_! You said you'd let me be till I said I wanted to do physics homework!"

"And you just asked me what the laws of physics were. Your break is officially over."

"That's not fair, I didn't know!"

"Exactly. Zoro, you too! Up, now!"

"Damn it, woman!"

"And that's five ninety-three forty-five. Do you really want to keep this up?"

"How dare you refer to the beautiful Miss Nami as _woman_ as if that word were an insult! And don't swear at her, she deserves better than that!"

As the sound of another argument began, Robin Nico smiled to herself and quietly walked away from the clearing. It was good to know that peace was so easily restored among this particular group of friends.

"Hey, did you hear something move in the trees just now?"

"It was a squirrel or something."

"What if it was a lion? Or a panther? Or a dinosaur?"

"I can assure you that it was none of those."

"But what if it _was_ …never got to see it?"

"No… _not_ going… _squirrel_ …homework."

"Aww…."

And then she could no longer make out any words at all as the happy gang fell further behind her in the woods.


End file.
